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Ive been painting 40k models and competing/commission painting for the last six years or so. I have tons of models and could put together armies from(at the very least) SM. IG and Chaos daemons. My girlfriend and I are interested in learning to play that way we can play on our days off when we are snowed in (or when ive spent all our date money on painting supplies} does anyone have any ideas on how to do this? I have the codexs and the th edition rulebook. but its alot and we want to make sure that we learn correctly also we never really have the time to go to a hobby store and learn from those guys plus alot of times theyre not willing to teach a completely new person (and i dont blame them) really im just looking for a site where we can get a good foundation that just breaks it down for dummies. any suggestions?

I would just start by reading the basics so movement, shooting assualt and just read it again.
Look online at some battle reports that helps as well. I find the special rules are where there is a lot of confusion when learning at first but don't get to overwhelmed.

I would just play a few small games 500 points maybe and just learn how it plays and if any questions come up google is your friend. If you can't find an answer Dakka will help you out for sure.

Bottom line is just read the codex and the rulebook a few times (not in one sitting btw) and then just play some games together slowly building up to larger games and understanding the special rules better.
Go on youtube and look up miniwargaming how to play 40k it gives a good breakdown of how to play the 3 main phases for starters hope that helps

Just take it slow and relaxed. Play small 500 pts games and just concentrate on getting the phases right and the basics down. Once you are comfortable try out more units with special rules and if anything is confusing look for an answer or ask on the forums.

More than getting the rules right just have fun or else instead of a game you will think it is a job.

Thank you both, I have spent alot of time around the game being played and I have noticed that people do some things differently at different shops, not alot differently but small things like allowing sm flyers in a space wolves army and stuff(basically bc those people wanted to play them in their army. i guess im not looking to play in competitions so as long as her and I get pretty close to the real rules i guess that will be fine right?

Perfectly, having fun is always priority 1 in a game.

There are a lot of rules for current 40K now. If you get straight on the rule book and your armies rules then you are doing really well.

Print this out: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/479483.page
Watch battle reports.
Play by yourself initially.
Play with knowledgeable players who are willing to accommodate your inexperience.
Play a lot.
Play a lot of different factions, good FLGSs should have armies you can play with. If they don't, proxy.

Dude that looks so helpful!!!!!! Thank you so much..