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Hey guys, i just wanted to show you guys something
There will be pictures of the model soon, and im sorry for such a long post.
What are your guys thought on this guy, please be honest and thank you in advance!

RULES:

Ragnar Karl, Master of the Watch

WS 4
BS 5
STR 3
T 3
W 3
INT 4
A 3
LD 9
Sv 4+.

Wargear
Lastlight, Bolt pistol, Night Fang, Frag and Krak grenades, Carpace Armour, Shadow Veil, Refractor Field, Camo cloak

Special Rules
Marksman, Move through cover, Stealth, Scout, Senior Officer - As per Codex

Lastlight: Its said the glint of his scope spells certain death to the unfortunate soul who sees the light in the dark.
Weapon----------------Range--Str--AP---Type
Lastlight Sniper rifle------40”----X-----3----Heavy 2, Sniper, Twin linked

Night Fang: This ancient power swords blade is dulled black as to not give away the owners position. It counts as a power sword that adds +2 to
the users strength but will always strike at Int 1 due to its massive size.

Shadow Veil: A powerful and mysterious artifact given to Ragnar by an Eldar Harlequin Troop Master.
Enemys wishing to fire at Ragnar and his CCS must first role 4D6 to see if they are in range.

Marksman: Ragnars may ignore all restrictions on choosing a target (she can even fire at characters within a unit!) and may fire at any model she can see and with in range. Also all cover saves and wound allocations are ignored. All rolls must be made by the chosen target.

Ragnar replaces the CC of your CCS and is available for 145 points. All his special rules apply to his CCS

If you choose to take him no heavy weapons are allowed and the only special weapons available are snipers. No body guards or Regimental Advisers may be taken either
as they would just get in the way of Ragnar and his target.

Carpace armour, Camo cloaks and Krak grenades may be purchased however.
All other upgrades are allowed.

LORE:
Ragnar Karl began his life in the smoke chocked hive world of Anox Prime. He was hot headed, arrogant but a brilliant shot. Even before he joined the guard he would be found ontop of the spires shooting down Anox Hawktalons as pest control, displaying unbelievable accuracy.

Starting off as a lowly guardsman, plucked from his home planet at an early age, Ragnar always had a keen eye and brilliant mind. His strategies and tactics where second to that
of the military commanders he was serving under, but his real talent was his uncanny ability to find the ideal spot, on the prime target, for the perfect execution.

Since forward thinking and self importance was not a very well looked upon trait in the basic ranks of the guard, he was sent on the most dangerous missions possible. These suicide missions
and search and destroy operations turend him into the superb commander he is today. Under his guidance, he and his elite team, carried hundreds of successful raids on enemy bases,
taking out comanders, key objectives and sabotaging supply routes. Although incredibly embellished through hundreds of diferent versions it was said he once took out a Tyrandid Hive Tyrant with a
single shot from his sniper rifle. There have been hundreds of different tales of Ragnar's skill and even if only a fraction of them are true, he is one of humanities best hopes of survival.

His most famous engagement was when him and his small team had to fight themselves off an Ork infested planned. After successful taking out several key Ork leaders, causing an abrupt end to the WARRGHHH that was starting, there position was compromised by group of Kommandos known as the "Nite Rippaz". They found themselves surrounded and only due to the intervention of a group of
Eldar Harlequins. Ragnar would be able to return the favour as just before the Harlequin Athair was about to be struck down by a lingering Kommando, he took aim and decapitated the target.
The Eldar gave him the artifact known as the Shadows Veil, and they parted ways, until fate brought them together once again.

On the battle field Rargnar provides support by taking out key targets and issuing decisive orders to his men.

Not sure about the cost, but still I think the lore, rules, and equipment need to be toned down a bit. Having a character with 3 unique items is a bit much, especially when one of them is a xenos cloak that lets the SC double up on old and new night fighting rules.

The sniper rifle by itself seems fine, but I don't like giving him the assassin style ability to ignore LOS and cover.

The super powersword feels out of place. You're making a character that feels too well rounded and too well equipped. Also powerfields crackle and glow. Painting the sword black isn't going to help that thing hide.

"Humanity's best hope for survival" should never be written down on anything meant to be taken seriously. Ever.

Also being saved by Harlequins, just to save Harlequins, and getting a special artifact seems... Wrong.

If you want to make a sniper SC with lots of random wargear, I'd suggest going the trophy hunter route. A talented sniper with the bad habit of taking trophies off is kills such as equipment and armor. He wants to keep his trophies but is nervous of getting caught so make him a solo character. At least that's what I'd suggest. Story becomes a lot more simple, more believable, and gives him some darker characteristics like pride and compulsive habits.

Thanks for the comment dude, everything you said does seem pretty spot on. I think i just got a bit carried away with it all. Il take a look into it, and i agree his equipment does seem grossly overpowered at the moment. As for the lore, its my first time at writing anything like that and i guess its just a tad far fetched haha.

It's natural to want something to stand out, and in 40K, where everything just seems so over the top as it is, it's easy to get a bit ahead of yourself.

My best advice is to try and make something below the power curve and simple lore wise. Build up from there slowly. Start with regular veteran stats and just add a bit here and there. The goal is to try and make something where people will think it's overpriced/underpowered and make them ask more about the fluff aspect out of interest. Hope that helps.