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I need some help with my eldar army backstory.

So the main protagonist is an Exodite Eldar and his homeworld is raided by Dark Eldar.

Grows up in Commorragh participates in the various raidings etc.

Meets an Eldar taken as a slave and returns to one of the various paths.

Alternatively he is injured and left for dead by the Dark Eldar raiding band and comes across an Exodite guide / mentor then. He then joins a craftworld / corsair band and goes from there.

Overall I am going for an Asian themed Eldar army and wanted to ensure that the background was going to be sufficiently grimdark.

I really don't see why any Exodite would join Craftworlders as they see it as too close to repeating the mistakes that led to the Fall.

There is BL evidence to support both an Exodite joining Commoragh (Morr the Incubus from the DE Path Trilogy was born an Exodite on the Exodite World Ushant) and a Commoraghite becoming a Craftworld Eldar (Bechareth the Striking Scorpion from Path of the Warrior, was an Incubus left for dead, recovered by Aliatoc). The DE Novel Path of the Incubus also mentions that Biel-Tan's involvement is partially due to a Warlock hoping to expand recruitment from the Exodite World of Lileathanir. While no Exodites join Biel-Tan in the book, the implication is that this isn't anything new, though causing the influx would still bring the Warlock in question fame.

Real quick: two disclaimers. First off, a user on this Forum has informed me, there is no such thing as Canon. Apparently you cannot trust anything that you read in a BL novel. Everything published (not sure if everything or everything BL) is just a single view-point on the 40k universe, there is no single viewpoint known as Canon. I don't know if this makes everything valid or invalid, to be honest. That little piece of information turned my work on a story for my Craftworld upside-down (and made me quit for now) and still gives me trouble seeing how it all fits together.
Secondly, as I have no idea where your story is trying to go, or what it's about, so I cannot judge if I like it, at this time. I will (always) try and help to the best of my ability. I may say I have 'issues' or 'problems' with a part of your story but that is just me lacking imagination and synonyms (thus picking the closest terms that come to mind). I never disagree with a story anybody wants to write, it's their story not mine, so you can do whatever you want with your story. There is no Canon also means that there is no 'wrong way' to do anything (or no right way, once again not certain). As I wish to see every story succeed, I will try to ask as many hard questions and bring up as many counter-points (I enjoy playing Devil's Advocate) as I can, with the goal of making people think.

My first issue (for lack of a better term) with your fluff is why would one slave change his mind after living in the Dark City? You see slaves come and go by the dozens, if not hundreds. Killed in the arena by the dozens (sometimes gross if it's a spectacle, and let's be honest, everything happening in the Dark City is a spectacle trying to out-spectacle everybody else), tortured in plain sight in the market places, chopped up and missing fingers and limbs, but still selling you your combat drugs (probably made from beings the selling slave knew). The Dark City is a horrific place, and that kind of horror deadens your soul (in more way than one for the Eldar) and makes you less empathetic to others. That is not to say that this is impossible, just highly unlikely.

The Exodites are the most fanatical of the Eldar sub-factions. While the IoM Ordo Xenos has proposed that Exodites are the 'natural, un-evolved state of Eldar Society' the truth is Exodites have opted for a harsh life in favor of distancing themselves from the temptation and idleness that lead to the Hedonism of the Fall. I often joke that they are Space Amish. Voluntarily choosing a primitive life in order to keep themselves morally upright. Taking in a DE or even a Craftworld Eldar would be unlikely, not unless they had a good reason too. However, they are willing to trust (and even expect in some cases) that the Craftworld show up to defend them. And just as many young Craftworld Eldar complain about the strictures of the Path, many young Exodites don't understand why they live such harsh lives. As both Path of the Seer and Path of the Outcast are with friends at the moment, I can't find the awesome quote about how young Craftworld Eldar dislike the path, while older Craftworld Eldar understand it's necessity, thus (in a small fashion) recreating some of the tragedy of the fall.

Edit: I can't believe I forgot this! Exodite Eldar taking in Craftworld Eldar isn't anything new, at least from a Black Library Standpoint. Both the Dark Eldar and Eldar Path series had mention of Eldar Rangers who traveled to and met with Exodites. The Rangers who stayed assisted with construction, defense or a variety of other tasks. Not all stayed with the Exodites, but I seem to remember at least one Ranger mentioning they had spent a year with an Exodite tribe. Eldar Traders (different from Corsairs and the Rangers) were known to visit Exodite Worlds as well, and trade for goods. As a DE playing friend and myself joke, we are not as fractured as we used to be (depicted). For no apparent reason, we can't remember why we used to hate each other and we now love our family.

When it comes to family, hate and love are not mutually exclusive.

 Farseer Morlengal wrote:
There is BL evidence to support both an Exodite joining Commoragh (Morr the Incubus from the DE Path Trilogy was born an Exodite on the Exodite World Ushant) and a Commoraghite becoming a Craftworld Eldar (Bechareth the Striking Scorpion from Path of the Warrior, was an Incubus left for dead, recovered by Aliatoc). The DE Novel Path of the Incubus also mentions that Biel-Tan's involvement is partially due to a Warlock hoping to expand recruitment from the Exodite World of Lileathanir. While no Exodites join Biel-Tan in the book, the implication is that this isn't anything new, though causing the influx would still bring the Warlock in question fame.

Hmmm you have raised some excellent points and this is helping me to flesh out my background further. Perhaps if I started with the end i.e. I want my character to be a Corsair Prince for my army, but to have a darker past (keeping in the tradition of grimdark etc). Bechareth sounds like a base for my character, but rather then a craft world a Corsair band rescues him.

Any further ideas to flesh out my character?

 La Rouge Beret wrote:
Hmmm you have raised some excellent points and this is helping me to flesh out my background further. Perhaps if I started with the end i.e. I want my character to be a Corsair Prince for my army, but to have a darker past (keeping in the tradition of grimdark etc). Bechareth sounds like a base for my character, but rather then a craft world a Corsair band rescues him.

Any further ideas to flesh out my character?

Then you NEED to pick up Path of the Outcast, the third Eldar Path Series. The interraction of the various Eldar Factions is played out much better in this novel and there are at least 2 Corsair Princes. One if the Corsair Princes is a former DE Dracon who got sick of the backstabbing, stole a ship and left. She is described as a lot calmer than her Dark Eldar Kin, but still dangerous (and like a large cat: beautiful and very deadly). Though she had lost many of her Soul-Thief qualities (no mention is made of her Soul-Thieving, that I can recall), she was still described as a creature of the Dark City, and at times her utter ruthlessness showed through. Now that I think of it, she must have been pretty young when she left as most DE start to age rapidly with extended periods of not torturing people/ stealing souls.

"To live as a true Eldar is to live on a knife edge, to live as an Archon is to live at the very point of the knife" - DE Catechism, Archon Yllithian, Path of the Inubus
I would like to point out that the first part of that is very true for Corsairs. The second is equally true, as DE Archons play constant games of one-ups-manship and assassination where the losers get taken out in spectacular ways (such as opening a gift-wrapped black hole), all of this under and (everybody resentful of) the Boss of All Bosses: Archon Asdrubael Vect. If you need an excuse to Flee Commorragh, all you need to say is that Vect killed your Commanding Archon (for whatever reason, maybe just boredom) and declared his entire Kabal to be Dead. If you'd not stolen a ship or fled or something, he'd have carved out your eyes (or something equally brutal and unnecessary) and then hung you up in the Marketplace as an example of what happens to those who ally with enemies of Lord Vect.

I'm not certain (someone please tell me if I'm right or wrong here) but I think that Corsairs don't even wear Soulstones. If they do, the likelihood of them being blown up or lost in space is pretty high, considering they spend their lives in and out of piracy on ships floating in the void, just begging for Imperial Retaliation. And since the Imperium cares more about its tithes than its people, when those tithes and Imperial goods get hijacked by Xenos, the IoM gets really upset.

How you want to write the story is your own decision. I'm just going to add in two pieces of advice. First off: being brutal and ruthless isn't the only way to do grim and dark. Often times being forced to face reality in a number of ways is Grim and Dark Enough. Examples may include being forced to give up on your dreams, dramatic (and unwanted) change into something you hate (or severely dislike), or just plain the larger and bitter truths of our lives that we want to overlook and ignore - they all make for good dark stories. These aren't your only options, nor do they have to be the route that you take.
Secondly, (while this is not the only means) building a character backwards (based on a skill set, personality and character traits) is a good way to go, as it allows for a fluffy reason for why you might have an erratic skill set. For instance, if you know about stonework, make sure to have an Exodite heritage. While some Wraithbone structures are found on Exodite Worlds (the raw materials for it are usually traded to them by Craftworld Eldar), Exodites construct most of their buildings out of regular stone. If you want to make him a master swordsman, either give him ties to an Aspect Warrior Shrine (Banshess or Scorpions would do well, but Shining Spears would make for a interesting fall. Once a Shining Knight, now a Wandering Predator, missing some of his claws - that is not as brutal as the DE) or maybe a Wych Cult during his time in Commorragh. Could be a mentor or maybe a lover. The Eldar tend to be rather casual about love and sex - especially among the Rangers, Corsairs and Dark Eldar.

I think it depends where the Corsair is from. Craftworld corsairs have soulstones Dark Eldar corsairs don't.

For anyone trying to flesh out background on an Eldar, I'd highly recommend reading all of the path books.

I read the DE ones and loved them. Lot's of treachery and everything I come to expect about the evil space elves.

The Eldar ones are full of information. How the Paths work, what some of the differences between craftworlds are, explanation of Exodite reasoning, etc. Just be aware that it's more cerebral than your normal 40k novel. Meaning - it's more about self growth and potential and less about pew pew noises.

And a lot more about hacking up humans with blades! Scorpion Chainswords, Witchblades. Even the Ranger kills a dude with a rapier!

In all seriousness, clively is right. I'd suggest (if you've got the time) to look up both the DE and Eldar Path Novels. (While I haven't gotten around to picking up Path of the Archon yet) they've all been really good reads and I enjoyed them all.

I am slowly working my way through Path of the Eldar series and I have been fairly impressed thus far.It certainly elaborated further on the paths that each Eldar follows and how they can become 'trapped' on their respective path. Certainly after reading more I am more inclined to create my own Craftworld.

 La Rouge Beret wrote:
I am slowly working my way through Path of the Eldar series and I have been fairly impressed thus far.It certainly elaborated further on the paths that each Eldar follows and how they can become 'trapped' on their respective path. Certainly after reading more I am more inclined to create my own Craftworld.

I'd also recommend reading the Valedor book if you want more insight into the Eldar. It's a very solid entry into the 40k series and as one of the few Xenos vs Xenos books in 40k it's a great start for what I hope will be the start of more emphasis on the non-human side of 40k.

Yay for orkse's books! Who cares bout dose lil umiez and sneaky eldar!

 koooaei wrote:
Yay for orkse's books! Who cares bout dose lil umiez and sneaky eldar!

I'd love an Octarius book to celebrate the new codes.