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I can't grow facial hair other than a thick perv-stache, not that I feel that facial hair would improve my appearance anyways.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?

See, I'd be worried about accidentally shaving my cock off.

I will never grow a beard. I think they are kind of gross. Plus, I'm only 14 so if I did try to grow one all I would end up with would be a puberty beard.

Albatross wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?

See, I'd be worried about accidentally shaving my cock off.

It'd be a pretty odd trip to hospital. You arrive at A&E with one hand holding a towel to your crotch, the other holding a cool bag packed with ice surrounding your seperated member...

Albatross wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?

See, I'd be worried about accidentally shaving my cock off.

Why not just trim it, instead?

gaovinni wrote:

nerdfest09 wrote:How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.

But you can never do that because the beard god has abandoned you? Beards for the beard god!

Now now now, I didnt abandon him, Im just more gracious to some then others

KingCracker wrote:

gaovinni wrote:

nerdfest09 wrote:How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.

But you can never do that because the beard god has abandoned you? Beards for the beard god!

Now now now, I didnt abandon him, Im just more gracious to some then others

like the boob fairy :3

Clumpski wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

gaovinni wrote:

nerdfest09 wrote:How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.

But you can never do that because the beard god has abandoned you? Beards for the beard god!

Now now now, I didnt abandon him, Im just more gracious to some then others

like the boob fairy :3

Oh yes the boob fairy. The revered boob fairy.

If it's a neckbeard; too long is anything.

I've had a full beard since just after I got married. 7 yrs.

Albatross wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?

See, I'd be worried about accidentally shaving my cock off.

Straight razor and bad aim?

Funny story I have,A few years ago i walked into a mcdonalds with my great grandma. She went to order the food and i found a table. Not long after i sat down at my table a few college chicks walked up to me ,telling me how cute i was and stuff,untill of course great gradma finishes getting the food an walked up to the table and wanted to know why college girls were trying to seduce a 13 year old.

Edit:spelling

I don't have a beard I have mustache but eh i'm 17 it will grow.

When I grow my NHL playoff beard, everyone calls me Malhotra on account of the fact that I get the same wierd 'swirl' thing going on with the rear sides, right next to my jaw hinge

Henners91 wrote:If it's a neckbeard; too long is anything.

Now see I dont personally count a neckbeard as a real beard. When I say beard, Im talking a real fething beard, one that you have to groom, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Neckbeards are just lazy people that dont want to shave let alone shower. Rather big difference

this might shock people, but i get a proper hobo beard before it even starts growing on my neck o.o even then its sparce and only around the creases going down from the ear, between the back of the chin and neck to the other ear o.o

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:

Spoiler:

Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.

Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.

feeder wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:

Spoiler:

Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.

Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.

TMI, dude. TMI.

coolyo294 wrote:

feeder wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:

Spoiler:

Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.

Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.

TMI, dude. TMI.

I disagree; NEI.

Avatar 720 wrote:

coolyo294 wrote:

feeder wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:

Spoiler:

Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.

Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.

TMI, dude. TMI.

I disagree; NEI.

Well as a detective, I'm not surprised.

Pics or it didn't happen?

Oh dear. Pics or it didnt happen, AND its completely inappropriate? The world is about to implode

You guys are lucky, I can't grow a beard, I'm just too feminine, so, on Saturday, I went t to an arts and crafts store to pick up some testors non-toxic glue, and while browsing, I saw those fake rabbit pelts, I put one on my chin, like a beard, and it felt nice.

I tried to see what a beard feels like, I lived for the first time

remilia_scarlet wrote:You guys are lucky, I can't grow a beard, I'm just too feminine, so, on Saturday, I went t to an arts and crafts store to pick up some testors non-toxic glue, and while browsing, I saw those fake rabbit pelts, I put one on my chin, like a beard, and it felt nice.

I tried to see what a beard feels like, I lived for the first time

In 30 years I've never had anything grow out of my face that felt anything like a rabbit pelt...a scouring pad perhaps, but never a rabbits pelt.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?

See, I'd be worried about accidentally shaving my cock off.

Straight razor and bad aim?

Oh, and my mutton chops are coming in. Time to grap the straight razor and hack the bitches off. That's right. Chowder is using a straight razor.

I've also used a hunting knife, swiss army knife, rigging knife, and once tried a kitchen knife, when the straight razor isn't available, IE when I'm sailing for days on end. Let me tell you, never shave with a kitchen knife. the damned things are much to dull and keep getting caught.

FITZZ wrote:

remilia_scarlet wrote:You guys are lucky, I can't grow a beard, I'm just too feminine, so, on Saturday, I went t to an arts and crafts store to pick up some testors non-toxic glue, and while browsing, I saw those fake rabbit pelts, I put one on my chin, like a beard, and it felt nice.

I tried to see what a beard feels like, I lived for the first time

In 30 years I've never had anything grow out of my face that felt anything like a rabbit pelt...a scouring pad perhaps, but never a rabbits pelt.

I just thought about the idea of having hair on my chin.

Can't grow one, and I doubt it'd be attractive..

I've had facial hair from late year 5. Not good at that age.

Been shaving since end of year 7.

I've had a bear most of that once I could since no one else could. Hated the moustache and got rid off that but I hate shaving so I put it off for so long.

Current beard is 2/3 inches long been growing for about 2 months probably less.

If I shave now I could expect a reasonable goatee and full sideburns like Cheesecat's picture within 2 weeks.

I only sometimes hate the absurd amount of testosterone I have.

I'm 17 by the way and have been told I look between 20 and 25. Unshaven I look my age or a year or two younger.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Pics or it didn't happen?

Sadly, that's not the first time I've been asked for pics of my junk on the internet.

I feel obligated to post this every time a beard thread crops up:

http://www.geekologie.com/2010/04/22/beards-full.jpg

My goatee places me right on the line between "Questionable" and "Unsavory".