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That all? I'm just a decapitated head.

I'm a decapitated head with no skull or face.

Yeah it sucks to be me...

Psh, brain in a jar here.

htj wrote:Psh, brain in a jar here.

At least you have a jar, I just sit on the counter.

The jar is filled with acid and broken glass, and lined with notes from my mother, criticising me.

I'm an abstract realisation of your inner sense of worthlessness.

I have it worse.

corpsesarefun wrote:I'm an abstract realisation of your inner sense of worthlessness.

I have it worse.

I'm not even abstract, at least you have that going for you.

Ah, see wires are hooked up to my brain (all of me) that constantly force me to experience all of mankinds suffering and misery, pausing only for brief moments so that I may realise the bleak and terrible nightmare that is my existence.

And read the notes from my mother.

And post on Dakka Dakka.

htj wrote:Ah, see wires are hooked up to my brain (all of me) that constantly force me to experience all of mankinds suffering and misery, pausing only for brief moments so that I may realise the bleak and terrible nightmare that is my existence.

And read the notes from my mother.

And post on Dakka Dakka.

Tell me about your mother...

She has beautiful handwriting.

htj wrote:Ah, see wires are hooked up to my brain (all of me) that constantly force me to experience all of mankinds suffering and misery, pausing only for brief moments so that I may realise the bleak and terrible nightmare that is my existence.

And read the notes from my mother.

And post on Dakka Dakka.

I am the embodiment of pain and suffering, the fact that they force me to make people experience pain and suffering is horrible.

mattyrm wrote:

halonachos wrote:

mattyrm wrote:

halonachos wrote:Don't be a pansy, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out and manned the hell up. I went to IHOP and had hashbrowns, pancakes, and chocolate milk. Then the next day I went on with my life, running on a treadmill and feeling your heartbeat in your mouth is amazingly fun and cool to experience. Vicodin is for the weak!

Halo has got the right idea, I had shrapnel removed with no anaesthetic because it was a Navy doctor and I was concerned he might attempt to rape me when I was asleep.

See, real men don't use anesthetic. The only reason they put me under while I was getting my teeth removed was because Hulk Hogan had to force the mask over my face. I put up a good fight, but then Stone Cold Steve Austin joined in and they finally got the mask on me.

My dentist is a rhinoceros.

His..er.. hooves? aren't dexterous enough to wield a drill though, so I just lay on the floor and then he stamps the teeth out of my face.

Oh and my barber kicks the hair out of my head.

Funniest post I've read in a long time!

And I think we should ease up on the 'man up' stuff. Cannerus has had more 'men up' than all of you put together.

Chocolate cake...

My chocolate cake, which is the end all of homemade cakes.

Albatross wrote:And I think we should ease up on the 'man up' stuff. Cannerus has had more 'men up' than all of you put together.

At once? OK, he wins on the pain stakes.

corpsesarefun wrote:Is that it?

I once had my skull removed.

Did they beat you with it?

Because let me tell you...that doesn't seem physically possible...

My dentist had a real sense of humor. He put me up on all sorts of pain killer and some anesthetic that put me between being asleep and awake...

Anyway, I was vaguely aware that they were pulling them out, but when it was done, my dentist got all scared looking and told me that he had possibly pulled out the wrong teeth.

Most people would probably freak out, but the anesthetic had me in my happy place where I thought everything was roses and buttercups so I just told him that that was okay and he could just go back in and pull the right ones out...

That was really funny to him because it was the first time anyone had reacted as such...wasn't much fun after that because I had to stand up and walk out of there...go home...and wake up three hours later with the absolute worse pain in my jaw...

When I had my wisdoms out... well it was a full on surgery. They were also removing teeth from the roof of my mouth (wtf right?) But do not suck on anything! I repeat DO NOT SUCK ON ANYTHING!!! If you get dry sockets... Ok you seem to enjoy pain, so it might end up being a goal for you, I don't know, but I wouldn't suggest it.
Otherwise, applesauce. If you don't have one, get a blender. That way you can eat anything! I was high on the painkillers and puree'd a steak. It was disgusting, but soft enough to eat... My mom told me I was never allowed in the kitchen on painkillers again...
But applesauce, scrambled eggs, ice cream ect. The ice cream was a good one for me though, it helped numb the sockets. Whipped cream is also good, and you have your mistress...

halonachos wrote:

htj wrote:Ah, see wires are hooked up to my brain (all of me) that constantly force me to experience all of mankinds suffering and misery, pausing only for brief moments so that I may realise the bleak and terrible nightmare that is my existence.

And read the notes from my mother.

And post on Dakka Dakka.

I am the embodiment of pain and suffering, the fact that they force me to make people experience pain and suffering is horrible.

I stood on a plug. That, my friends, is suffering.

Dude, the amount of d4's I've pulled out of my feet... plugs are nothing...