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I've been on and off-hobbying for the best part of about 6 years, and have stuff from Spartan Games, Hawk Wargames, Gamesworkshop armies for fantasy and 40k. I've had some friends who have 'started' but then pretty much abandoned the hobby after a very short period. I'm by no means an unsociable guy, I've got a bunch of hobbies, Napoleonic reenactment, martial arts among other things, and have done various amounts of public speaking the past. I'd like to get more involved with my FLGS, and actually start playing (other than the passing dozen games I've done over the last few years with newbie friends in which we barely grasped the rules) but I'm faced with an inherent problem with it.

I'm not really sure how to start. I don't know anyone, and it seems an insular community. I'm don't really know the etiquette of it, with all these people standing around doing their own thing with people they all seem to know.
Do I just turn up with my stuff, hang around, and hope someone else is playing the same thing and hope they're looking for a game?
Do I waltze over, and talk to people already playing, or leave them alone?

It sounds kind of weird, but I am genuinely completely and utterly confused.

You have to perform the Gaming Ritual.

Its like a mating dance for birds, but for gamers to find a gaming partner, rather than a life partner.

It involves a lot of paint and subtle movements. You may be forced to submit to a more dominant partner, but with time, you'll be accepted into the pack. Hopefully. Maybe.

Seriously, I don't know. My last gaming experiences were with friends and a club at my school.

Don't bend over backwards for anyone. Be friendly, open and first of all yourself. And if it doesn't work out with this in that specific group then they are just not worth it.

Honestly it is much like any other social group just more socially awkward than average and with miniatures. I would recommend showing up and leaving the miniatures in the car. Walk in and see if anyone is playing your game of choice. If they are and you see a group of people standing around them walk up and say, "Hello, I am just starting (coming back?) into the hobby and was wondering when people usually play around here." You can chat a little and if the person seems amenable you can invite them to a game. If it is an adult clubs drinks can sometimes help the process...Wow, I never realized that this sounds just like picking a girl up at a bar.

Anyways this is why I would bring the figurines but leave them in the car. The likely outcomes are;
1) Nobody is playing your game. In which case you should talk to the owner/employee/manager and find out if/when your game of choice is usually played at that shop. I recommend buying a pot of paint or something as otherwise some owners will not have a great first impression of you.
2) There are people playing but no skulkers. In this case politely watch and wait for a while and introduce yourself when there is a lull in the action. Say you are looking around and was wondering when people usually come to play game X. Try not to overdo it with the chat as you can end up derailing the game. You can also talk to the owner, etc.
3) The group talks to you and you get details about when they usually play. You have your play date setup, congrats!
4) You get a game in. Excuse yourself and get your models.
5) Your game mating dance flashed the wrong colors and thus the group attacks you. Avoid eye contact and curl up into a ball they will cease when they feel you are submissive to the hive mind.
6) The people are rude and unpleasant. Talk to the manager, if the manager is also rude and unpleasant leave and don't come back.

BTW in my experience when playing pick up games you should bring several different lists. A set of casual lists at 750, 1000, 1250, 1500, and 1750 pts and a set of competitive list at the same pts. That or have the ability to quickly generate one on your phone (within 5 minutes).

Just go in, walk up to people and say "hi, I'm blah blah, and I'm new here, do you want to play a game with me? Do you know anyone down to play a match...etc."

Don't see what the problem is here?

Most of the people you meet there are either really extroverted in their flgs shell, or are Iintroverts who will make make a run for it before you even make eye contact.

I once went to D&D meeting.... now those are some people with social issues. It's a wonder they're able to eat and , you know, survive in the world. I see hardcore D&D as a tier below larpers... kids in chess clubs are jocks compared to them lol.

I'd actually suggest bringing your models in with you. Atleast at my local shops there are gaming tables (with raised edges for them escaping dice or suicidal models) and regular tables to play a card/board game or do other table things. Set your models down in view, kick back with a book and see what bites or strikes up a conversation about them.

If there are obvious 40K players already in the store, make the first move and ask about gaming protocol to someone that is normally there.

See if there's a local Facebook/LinkedIn/MSN messenger (lol) group to join, I find coordinating games online is super easy. And sometimes the gamers don't just hang about the shop looking for games... that's my experience, anyhow. Good luck!

the first thing I do is formally introduce myself with the owner (complete with shaking hands). I find this a sign of respect and they are usually your easiest way to get your first game
"Bill here has been looking for a game all morning"
Getting you introduced and your first game started. Then, you watch and observe who plays who/what and so forth.

If ya have a well painted army, it does help you get games and acts as an ice breaker as some players check out your models.

I walked in to my new store, introduced myself to the asst manager, told him what games I play, see what was available, and went from there. He introduced me to the Wednesday game group, I was friendly, and fit right in. Honestly-do something like that-introduce yourself to the head staff, and discuss your interests and find a jumping off point night. Worked for me.

I had the luck of meeting a like-minded/aged teen (shut up! I'm a teen with two armies!!!1!) who was happy to play with me. From there I built my way up. Watching games and dropping sly hints is the name of the game. ALWAYS buy something first visit, preferably something expensive, even a WD and some paints will signify that you're serious.

I went through this when I moved to a new state; the main FLGS here has a pretty solid group (25+ regular 40k/Fantasy players). For the first couple weekends, I would just approach a group of guys hanging out/painting etc. and ask if anyone cared for a game. I was flexible on points, brought at least two armies and was very friendly about it. I was running balanced, fluffy lists as opposed to a nasty tourney list which helps for first games. After several weekends and people learning my name, I started to get to know guys better, joined the local 40k Facebook group, and now I've got some great friends via 40k. if I go to the main store (or one of the others nearby), I'll probably know 3-10 guys there and can always get a game right quick.

I have also been very outgoing and friendly as new players show up and go through the same thing I did; our great hobby relies on participation and being friendly to the new guy wandering around the store helps everyone.