I actually like the list a lot. One thing that may be worth trying is a close combat Command Squad on bikes... it could be both fluffy and effective. I've tried the whole grav bike squad but honestly, I don't think it meshes well with the Chapter Master and Captain trying to get into cc... if you just take 2 power axes and 2 power mauls and an apothecary, you can flat out the first turn to try and make contact with them and not have to worry about jinking to impact your shooting the next turn - it's actually pretty scary to see a beefy character re-rolling in a challenge thanks to their CTs.
The only other thing I'd change is the LSS to have the heavy flamer, just because I feel like you can avoid the BS3 with the template...
I'd drop one squad of scouts and a grav bike squad for the command squad (and then give the melta squad a MM attack bike to mesh well and hurt Knights).
I don't think you can escort an outflanking storm with the talon since you have to come in within close proximity of them... so I'd just deep strike the storms with the heavy flamers to really put pressure on the enemy, or protect your flank from enemy deep strikes with their jamming beacons.
I really like this list so far! Automatically Appended Next Post: Curious at what this list would look like to me, here's what I'd change it to (if you can take Forge World):
Chapter Master - bike, artificer armor, power fist, shield eternal
Captain - bike, artificer armor, lightning claw, storm shield
Command Squad - bikes, apothecary, power axe x4
Scout Squad (5) - ccw/bp, land speeder storm w/heavy flamer
Scout Squad (5) - ccw/bp, land speeder storm w/heavy flamer
Bike Squad (5) - grav x2, combi-grav
Bike Squad (5 + 2) - melta x2, combi-melta, mm attack bike
Stormtalon - skyhammers *escorts the Fire Raptor
Fire Raptor - quad heavy bolters
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