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So I've been on a 5 or so year hiatus from war gaming and am finally able to return to my long beloved hobby! Huzzah!

Problem! 40k has changed so drastically since I last played (5th Ed?) that I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. My old and true friends, the Imperial Guard aren't even an autonomous army anymore but have been amalgamated with other forces in to "Astra Militarium"? I see flyers, super heavy tanks and Titans on tables at my local game store. Psykers are no longer an oddity but the norm, and I hear terms like "Warp Charges" being accumulated by either side of the table... This all sounds cool and new, but is there a crash course thread I can go read up on? A "Welcome to 40k, n00b" video perhaps?

I'm excited to return but don't even really know where to begin. My armies of old have been re-homed to aspiring generals (who have taken them on to amazing feats and tales I've been regaled with, which still make me smile now, so no regrets!) so I'm in need of a new army to begin rallying. I've long been a closet Nurgle worshipper and the new (to me) DP model looks amazing! I'm also still a fan of Imp Guard (or whatever they are now) and still aspire to paint up some Elysian Drop Troops some day. That said, I hear great (or grumpy, depending on who I talk to) things about Tau as well? Or necrons? Or orks... oh the choices! I used to just go drop 45 bucks to buy a few codexes at a time and see which army book really grabbed me, but now that won't even get me one?! Veteran Dakka Community, help me please!

Protect your wallet and run now while you still can....

First off, I'd say you came to the worst place on the net to ask for constructive advice (see the first reply). Then I'd say narrow it down to the one that most appeals to you for whatever reasons you've been drawn back to 40k, whether its modelling, fluff, the game, all three etc and then go nuts. I feel like you should always go for the gut response and the army that simply grabs you the hardest.

As it stands every single codex is now "up to date" as far as the edition goes and the community has no real idea whats going to happen next. All the armies are fair game right now and while only two stand discernibly above the others in terms of raw power (Eldar and to a much lesser extent, Tau), you really can't go wrong if you choose something that seems worth it to you. Dakka be damned.

Necrons just got their fancy new codex and from my own look through and the mumbling here, things look good. Balancing the things that had to be balanced, updating what needed to be updated and a swift kick between the legs for the people that JUST bought the previous most powerful models.

Elysian Drop Troops have a semi-updated list over in IA-3 2nd Edition and the D-99 are in the IA-4 2nd. Imperial guard, Astra Militarum and you can learn why they are that with a quick search but it's just copyright gak, are still around and still doing their mediocre things. They haven't been acquired but everything got a name change. The old Kasrkin are now Militarum Tempestus with a less Cadian spin but the Hot-Shot Lasguns are still theirs. Chaos is about the worst of the bunch but new Khorne models are rumored to be inbound and who knows after that.

There are a few "Intro to 7th" videos out there. A YouTube search will give you plenty. One thing that kept me happy since I came back from a longer break at the start of 7th is seriously thinking about having flyers in 1000pts and expecting and being able to kill a Super Heavies at 2000pts. I never worry about the power creep because I build armies with that in mind.

I'm a big advocate of finding codexes online through less than legal means and then buying the one you like when you settle on an army. Not everyone has the option to browse at a gaming store.

OP, I'm in the same boat as you. Been on hiatus since 5th.

You are absolutely right that things have drastically changed. But I must say that I like the changes.

If you have an army or two up in the closet, then this will not apply to you, but here's what I did:

I purchased 6 Shield of Baal Deathstorm sets, Shield of Baal: Exterminatus campaign rules, Blood Anges Codex and Tyranids Codex, a couple of hive tyrants, and went to building a Blood Angels army and a Tyranid army.

I really like the dataslate formation thing. It really adds a cool dimension to the game. Once I get everything assembled, and start painting, I'll hit the FLGS and get back into the playing side of the hobby.

I really want to get to know the rules a little better before I get back into play because I don't want to be that guy who joins a league without having a clue about the rules. That makes for a very slow and boring game. But maybe that's just me.

There's a lot of hate on this forum for GW, but I must say I am impressed with the way the game is now. You can basically play with just about any model or models you want to. Seems like a good way to freshen up the same old cookie cutter games, and a good way to sell more models. The game now seems like a whole new experience than what it was 4 or 5 years ago. I usually don't like change, but this time, I must say that I am pleased.

One thing that hasn't changed though is GW's impeccable customer service. I'm glad to see that has been kept and amplified in the current state of GW as a company.

And while the prices have risen dramatically, there are still deals to be had. I am blown away by the value of the Deathstorm sets. I've never seen a value like it, and I've been in the hobby since the Rogue Trader days. What doesn't end up on the gaming table from those sets will end up on ebay, especially all of those extra mini-rulebooks.

Welcome back to the hobby, and I wish you luck!

You just need to play a game or two. Lots of things have changed since 5-th. True los, wound allocation, vehicles are playing different, flyers, fantasy-style psy phase and summoning, maelstorm missions, allies and detachments...
The game feels a bit different. Just need to see it yourself.