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So after some good criticism I am rewritting and posting this. Please let me know what you think and what think of the name of the Chapter. I would fluff out the whys of some stuff if this works(like why plasma? why mechanicum?)

He had spent more time in the chambers within fortress monastery Anarba than a mortal man had years in a lifetime. The Hall of Memories was ever silent, other than the scuffling of feet or flickering of candle giving it any substance of noise. Here deep within the mountain on Meshagan stood the great statues remembering the heroes of the Doom Fists’ Legion and the relics of past warzones. To Captain Whetilo’s left, in a stasis field, was the Chainsword of Bo, which slayed ten bodyguards of the rebellious Governor Grimla .To his right the statue of Honored Chapter Master Helmic who was slain in a duel with a Word Bearers champion. This was not his stop today; he was going to the Chamber of Duty to hear Chapter Master Harbo speak.

The Doom Fists Legion was a fraction of their former glory and only by sheer luck had the 5th and Whetilo survived intact and at near company strength while training the 10th Company Scouts in the Charadon Sub-System against the Orks. The great companies of the 3rd,4th, and 6th had been lost in the Crusade of Righteousness. These losses kept the Bells of Mourning chiming in the cities throughout Meshagan as the citizens mourned the deaths of their angels and protectors.

Like most Marines of the Doom Fists Legion, Whetilo had a strong pull towards plasma technology and the plasma pistol, at his hip was an honored relic. The weapon was of no notice when Chapter Master Harbo addressed the room. His voice boomed like that of the Primarch, whose blood flowed through every marine in the room. It was as if Dorn himself was speaking, some thought this voice to be a gift from Dorn.

Whetilo listened to Chapter Master Harbo discuss the plans of the Legion, to return it to glory and duty. It was with no secret amongst the Chapter leadership that the Adeptus Mechanicum within Anarba had been unusually busy lately. The surprise came when the Master announced the Doom Fists Legion would be heading into the Brasit Sub-System to put down a rebellious Governor and save the Forge World Notrium. Astropath signals told of a struggling PDF and Guard force holding back a Word Bearers war band. No one questioned Harbo, when the Adeptus Mechanicum asked of the Legion, they were honor bound to serve. When the sworn enemies, The Word Bearers, were involved, the Legion’s fury required action.


To much highlighting?

Updated, I am not sure the blue is very readable but the chapter colors are blue and yellow so i Highlighted blue. Thoughts?

Index Astartes
<<Chapter Badge>>

The <<Chapter Name>> Doom Fists Legion



The High Lords of Terra not fully understanding the Tau Empire’s plans or their full capacity knew they knew only Xenos were appearing and would need dealt with at some point. During the 23rd founding, before the Democales crusade had been formulated, High Terra commissioned the Doom Fists Legion to situate them on the edge of the Eastern Fringe. Unknown to the Doom Fists they were placed in what the High Lords believed would be either a launching point against the Tau or a Sub-System the Tau would look to absorb, believing the Doom Fists would fighter even harder for their homeland. With this in mind the High Lords knew exactly the geneseed they would need, the Primarch Dorn.


Home World/Homeworld

On the outer edge of the Ultima Segmentum, near the Eastern Fringe, lies the cold world of Meshegan. Within its wind swept mountains and roaring seas keep the citizens of Meshegan toil to extract minerals and an abundance of fish for the other 13 planets within the Sub-Sector Vitroa. The Doom Fist Legion recruits from the population of 75 million from those families and individuals who show promise. Deep within the largest mountain lies the fortress monastery Anarba where citizens make pilgrimages to honor and respect their protectors and Angels whom they rarely see.


Combat Doctrine

Being from the Imperial Fist lineage the blood of bolter experts and siege warfare ran deep within all of the Doom Fists. The Codex was an automatic adherence. Chapter Master Harbo drilled these teachings into his chapter, Dorn himself would have been proud. The Doom Fists Legion believed in overwhelming force on the ground for this is where you could provide real assessment of the battle.


Organization/Organisation
The Doom Fists currently reside below Codex strength when 3 companies were lost in the Crusade of Righteousness.

Beliefs

Doom Fists Legion honors the all Holy Emperor, believing him to be the greatest leader but not a God. The citizens of Meshegan believe in the Holy Emperor and view him as a God but see the Doom Fist Legion as their true saviors. The Fists put this down where ever it is found but more and more citizens make the pilgrimage to Anarba.

With Meshegan’s cold and winding conditions, the citizens always looked to sources of heat for comfort. This has led to citizens and recruits having a fond calling to plasma technology. During the early founding the citizens of Meshegan began working the factories plasma cores in overdrive, in an attempt to heat their cities. This borderline worship of the machines brought about a gradual core meltdown of the world’s largest factory in Blevad. The loyal citizens and mechanium came to the Doom Fists for help only they were versed in battle, not plasma cores. Chapter Master Harbo reached out to the Men of Mars for help, seeing an opportunity to have a Space Marine chapter in their debt the Mechanium responded in time to save the planet from a core meltdown and loss of the entire planet. From this point on the Mechanium and Doom Fists have worked hand in hand, one providing arms(particularly plasma weapons) and repairs and the other defending factories and searching for STC.


Gene-seed/Geneseed
Imperial Fists through the Death Strike Legion

Battle-cry/Battlecry/Chapter Motto
Those who stay shall be victors

I like it, it's to the point and tells their story well. Perhaps you could flesh out the part where they lost three companies though as I think that would make for an interesting and heroic sounding tale.

Thanks for the compliment and advice, I plan on adding more "to the point" fluff about things and adding more narrative fluff too. If theres anything people see that doesnt make sense/wouldnt happen please let me know.