Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Chapter Master Sir Augustus III had always been a man of diplomacy. Instead of fighting, he'd rather tell rioting workers on his home planet of Badorah to put their weapons down, and receive free food. He, as the Chapter Master of the Royal Eagles chapter, had never been in a real battle. The Royal Eagles were created to protect the solar system of Domorrah from enemies and gangs. Sir Augustus had been chosen at random from the new recruits to represent the Chapter, who now only had 322 Marines, of which 200 were Scouts. None of them were prepared when the Orks came.

"Sir! Sir! Orks have been spotted, just a few planets away! We need to help!"

That vox message had been received from the planet of Jog-X3. One day later, the fleet set out. 90 Tactical Marines, 15 Assault Marines, 10 Devastators, 5 Rhinos, 1 Dreadnought, the driver of which had been killed in a riot involving 50 miners, and around 200 Scouts, armed with Shotguns and Sniper Rifles, were now on their way to the planet Jog-X3.

Sir Augustus III had always been interested in old Terran history. He had studied the many books about it in secrecy, learning about the incredible knights of Jermani and Britania. Surely, they must ahve been even more magnificient than Mechanicum's Knights! Because of his enthusiasm, he ahd decided to meet the Orks on a large field, to maximize the amounts of Marines he could have in combat at the same time. He had ordered his men to deploy in rows 2 men deep, and wait. It took almost the whole afternoon, but soon the Orks came.

WAAAGH! Deff'ead. A feared combination of words. Warboss Ghutzmakka was renowned for being able to literally tear Dreadnoughts limb from limb. He was leading the WAAAGH!.
The sun shone on the large field, when the Marines started getting restless. Where are the enemies? Most of them hadn't been in battle before, and many had not even gone through the full Marine training, all to produce as amny Marines as possible.

Sir Augustus and his command squad of 15 other Marines started walking forward, across the field. They saw Warboss Ghutzmakka and his group of Nobz, and he assumed that they'd also come forward. They did.

Sir Augustus' golden Power Armour shone in the sunlight as he approached the Ork Warboss. Ghutzmakka was almost twice as tall as him.

"Good day to you, Warboss. My name is Sir Augustus Wolfgang Adrianus the Third, and I have come here to give you but one offer: Surrender, or die. I await your answer."

Warboss Ghutzmakka was confused. his primitive little brain could not understand what the tiny 'oomie in front of him was saying, so he just kept on being silent.

"Will you answer me? I have a formidable force of almost a hund-" He was cut off by one of Ghutzmakkas Nobz, one of the few who understood 'oomie-talk.

"Warboss Ghutzmakka'z iz no runt lek yuu, hez be da biggust and baddust here. His WAAAGH iz-" The Nob was in turn cut off by Augustus.

"Yes, yes, yes, I know that. Do you surrender or not?" The Orks looked puzzled. "I mean, there are what, 20 of you? We have over threehun-"

The Warboss himself started speaking.

"Twuntey? TWUNTEY? I haz mur dan milliunz! MILLIUNZ! AN datsjsut mah Boyz..."

"Well, will you surren- what? Millions?"

"Milliunz... MILLIUNZ!"

Sir Augustus took a step back, it seemed like he was in trouble.

Ghutzmakka took a step forward, making Augustus step back.

"WAAAAAAGH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"

The force of the shout pushed Augustus and his command squad backwards. Ghutzmakkas Nobz started shouting too. On a hill behind them, what had started out looking like small green dots, started moving. It soon became apparent to Augustus waht they were. Orks.
He quietly whispered into his vox "They're coming, fire at will.", and started walking backwardxs slowly. The panic in his voice became more and more apparent, until he started screaming "OPEN FIRE! OPEN FIREEEE!" while runniing towards his army. Warboss Ghutzmakka laughed, raised his Power Klaw, and grabbed Sir Augustus III, and lifted him up into the air. Now, Dakkajets and Chinorks started swooping down from the sky, attacking the Marine lines, while Killa Kans started shooting out endless streams of crude rockets. Most exploded in front of or in the Killa Kan, but some made it away, and plowed deep into the Marine lines. The Nobz started laughing, and shot at the remains of the command squad. Only a few of the the hundred shots fired hit their targets.

"No, no, no, ohnononononopleasenoIbegyoupleasenoooooOOOOOOOOOAHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-"

The Marines who were still alive saw their Chapter Master get torn in half.

The Ork Boyz flooded the field, and drowned the Marines in their numbers.




WAAAGH! Deff'ead takes yet another planet.




What do you guys think? I'm not that good of a writer, I do it mostly for fun.

Wow, what a failure of a space marine. Dies begging from mercy from an ork. If it is any bit of help, this brought a smile to my face after reading him get torn in half while begging more than some Imperial guard would ever dream of doing

Is your Chapter Master's body being inhabited by the personality of some hive-gang criminal who got mind-swapped with a Space Marine?

He makes my Marneus Calgar look like a hero, and Calgar regularly berates his minions, farts in people's faces, yells at women, runs away from battle and wins the day purely because of either luck, or something someone else did. But my stories are a parody, as Calgar does the total opposite of what a real Space Marine would do. Your story reads very much like a parody.

Maybe take some time to read a few 40K novels, read Codex Space Marines (any version), play Dawn of War, because unless you are writing parody, you really need to learn what Space Marines are.

They're huge, powerful, super-discplined warriors who fight with righteous hatred of the enemy. They never run, they certainly don't expect anyone to die on their behalf when they could be fighting to the death themselves, they're defending humanity's future against alien threats so dangerous that unmodified humans may not be able to triumph against them. There is unlikely to be any such thing as a Space Marine who hadn't seen combat, let alone a Chapter Master, as the Imperium is totally surrounded and always under attack.

Each Chapter has its distinctive identity, each man within each Chapter has his own personality, so some will be far more noble or enthusiastic, some will be dark and angry, some will put their lives on the line to defend civilians while others might forget about the civilians as they're too busy landing on the enemy warlord's head.

Humans have interacted with and even allied with Orks in the older fluff, but an Ork demanding the surrender of a Space Marine would be laughed at, no matter the odds.

Replace the space marines with some local planetary governor and his peace keeping force (all normal humans) and this starts to make sense.

Your depiction of space marines is way off!

Sorry wrong thread.

... What?