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As part of a campaign being run at my FLGS, sides in the conflict were randomly assigned. I ended up with being on the traitor's side, even though my army is going to be Raven Guard. As part of the campaign, we each had to make our own praetor-level character, in the vein of Kharn, Abbadon, Autek Mor, and the like.

My character is Imrik Dakon, a Terran-born legionnaire that was captain of the 17th Company under Shade Lord Fel. He was known as the Greyfin, having taken the shark as his heraldic device. When Corax took over the Legion, he basically purged the old Terran command, replacing them with those who fought with him on his homeworld. Those commanders he deemed too bloody, their men too prone to getting Ash Blind, were sent on missions to the Outer Darkness, either as envoys in the fleets of Rogue Traders, or at the head of Nomad Predation Fleets. Some didn't mind the posting, as it allowed them to continue fighting in the manner they were accustomed. Some, however, chafed at being cast aside by their Progenitor. The Greyfin was one of the latter.

The XIXth legion had a long history of serving with the Luna Wolves in the time before Corax was discovered. Many bonds were built between the Legion that could not be easily severed. Even after the bloody disaster known as Gate 42, there were many who remembered a time when Horus effectively commanded them, and remembered that time fondly. So when Horus declared his treason, there were some among the Raven Guard who answered his call to arms.

It is important to note that the Dakon's 5th Nomad Predation Fleet did not turn traitor due to temptation by some dark power, or due to a defect in their souls. It was their inherent humanity, not entirely extinguished by their conversion into Astartes, that led them to turn on their Primarch. It was their anger at being cast aside, their disappointment at being declared not good enough, that caused them to take up arms and attempt to regain the honor they believed had been stripped from them.

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So what do you guys think? I wanted to give them an actual cause, not that they were the targets of the Dark Gods, but a human flaw that would cause them to turn. Does the fluff make sense?

I like it! It's similar, but different, from the Lutherites and the DA. In Angels of Darkness there's a pre-Lion Terran DA who felt abused by the Lion, which was partially why he turned.

Well, Luther was partly corrupted by the Chaos taint on Caliban.

I think the fluff is great. Not everyone remained loyal within the loyalists (White Scars/Dark Angels) and not every traitor legion had elements of some loyalists. The beauty of the HH is that all the legions reacted to things differently.
Can't recall where this was from but there was one book where there were banners from each chapter that has had a space marine turn towards chaos EXCEPT Grey Knights.

Every legion without exception had loyalists and traitors, every legion, white scars, space wolves, dark angels, and even the imperial fists had rogue elements, on the flip side we already know about the loyalists in the traitor legions.

Isn't there a traitor raven guard going around with sevatar in one of the books? He's even in the kryptora is memory serves

Yeah, traitor raven guard are fairly common in the fluff.

When Corax took over the Raven Guard he quite dramatically changed the legion, before Corax they'd fought a lot with the Luna Wolves to the point where the LW almost treated them as a chapter of their legion, so they were pretty vicious and bloodthirsty. When Corax took over he dialled that right down, completely changed the command structure, and exiled lots of the Terran legionnaires in the 'Nomad Predation fleets'. A lot of the Terran marines left were culled in the Battle of Gate 42 where they formed the vanguard with the Sons of Horus (it's theorised that that's what saved the RG from turning completely; if there were any lodges in the RG they probably were all but wiped out in this battle). But I'd imagine there's a few of the original legionnaires left, who resent Corax for how he changed the legion and still have the brotherhood with the SoH, so you can see why some of them would turn.

Yeah, that's what I was going for.

I think a big part of it is the high incidence of Ash Blinding amongst the Terrans. It basically turned RG legionnaires into stealthy World Eaters, who ignored pain and injury to just kill until they died. That was the origin of the Moritat, IIRC.

 TranSpyre wrote:
Well, Luther was partly corrupted by the Chaos taint on Caliban.

Certainly, but you had Terrans like Merir Astelan that didn't fall to Chaos, but whose loyalty was conflicted; his was to Emperor before the Lion, as opposed to how most Legiones Astartes were, which led him to opening fire on what he thought was a Traitor Lion. Merir even referred to the pre-Lion DA as the Old Legion.

Astelan was a heretic and a liar.