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Names of characters:
Slimefart Gitsmaka
Kaptin Badrukk
Grukk Face Rippa
Mad Dok Grotsnik
Space Hulk Krew
Big mek Lotzaboltz
Mekboy Laru


Story

Slimefart Gitsmaka was reading a book (How ta organize yer Waaagh!) when the space hulk rocked and red alert went off. He rushed to the bridge.
"What have we struck?" he asked?
"A black hole, Boss," said Badrukk.
Consoles exploded, taking 25% of the bridge krew off their feet. Grukk Face-Rippa, who had just gotten onto the bridge (his squig trailing behind him), hit the com panel.
"Dok Grotsnik?! Are ya there?!" yelled Grukk.
"I'm rather busy at the moment, what do you need?" said Grotsnik.
"25% of the bridge krew is off their feet. We need help!" yelled Grukk.
I'm sending some painboyz. They should be there soon," said Grotsnik. He went off the com.
And then, the biggest whumph yet struck the space hulk.
A minute later, 5 painboyz showed up (amid exploding consoles).
"We're about ta reach da event horizon!!" yelled Hellpit.
Seeing there was nothing they could do to get past it, Slime hit the com panel: "All handz, brace fer impact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And they crossed the event horizon.
The space hulk tumbled through the black hole. Consoles exploded. Microfractures and breaches formed along the hull. Reverse thrust had no effect on the hole. Inside the space hulk, things and orks were thrown around.
Then, everything stopped moving.
Unconcious orks woke up. Red alert shut down. Amazingly, everyone survived.
The viewscreen had a bright, red supergiant on it. The light filled the bridge.
Meanwhile, in Grotsnik's office, his painboyz began to put everything back in order. Grotsnik, however, called the bridge.
"Grotsnik to Bridge. Is anyone alive up dere?"
Badrukk hit the com panel. "Kaptin Badrukk here."
"What in the name of Gork happened?" asked Grotsnik.
"We hit a black hole. Komputa estimates we've been thrown back in time 1 billion years.
Okay. I'll call you later." said Grotsnik. He went off the com.
"Try to contact the Mek's workshop on Razzagash," said Grukk.
A few minutes later, Big mek Lotzaboltz came onscreen.
"Evening, Badrukk. We can't seem to find where your com signal iz originating," said Big Mek Lotzaboltz.
"That's because we just crossed a black hole. Komputa estimates that we've been thrown back in time 1 billion years," said Badrukk

That's all for now. Will be updated. Suggestions appreciated.

basically a fun read. Whatever technology the orks have to estimate time travel is a little curious though.

And Far as I know Orks don't use percentages. You can afford to make jokes about their poor math skills instead.
Keep writing and i'll keep reading.

Wait a sec how does Grukk meet up with Grotsnik they are part of different waaaaghs! Also Grukk is a ill tempered warboss he would not work very well with Badrukk because he is essentially a warboss or kaptain... Grukk is known for lack of temper and beating his own men to death. Fluff wise this is kinda of a broken story...


lol sorry to nitpick

It's a nice story, some things seem a little casual. They got sent back in time 1 billion years and says ok, and ends the conversation. The only other thing I can complain about is some ork speak isn't quite orky enough, but ad the story went on it got better.

I hope more will come to the story, it's a good start.

It's like a startrek screenplay populated by an allstar cast of Ork special characters. Which as far as I'm concerned isn't exactly 40k but it's different enough to be worth a read.

Just add a Cybork and a Khorn Berzerker to the Bridge crew and shave Badrukk's bonce and we'll be laughing. Grotsnik needs a Ginger wig too! Oh and a grot called Wesley!

"Black hole? 1 billion years from da prezent?" said Lotzaboltz.
"Yeh'd better believe it," said Slime. "We're in front of a red supagiant. Any way to get us back?"
"Here goes," said Lotzaboltz. "It's kind of like a reverse vacuum. You know how the thrusters suck in everything for fuel?"
"Yeah," said Mekboy Laru, who had just walked into the bridge.
"Well, you need to reverse dat effect. Then aim da rear thrusters towards the supagiant, and take navigational controls offline. So that way, you'll sit still while the thrusters blow da supagiant's layers off. Then, all that will remain is the core. Next, load a frag missile with krak power and fire it at the core. You should then have a black hole. Go into it, and once you emerge in the present at the other end, fire a supa-rokkit into it. The hole should collapse. And then come to Razzagash for a party. Does any of this make sense?" Lotzaboltz said.
Mekboy Laru nodded.
"We'll be watching you from Razzagash. If this doesn't work, we'll engineer something," said Lotzaboltz. He went offscreen and the words 'COM LINK IDLE' blared on the viewscreen.
"You know what ta do," said Grukk to Mekboy Laru.
"Yes, boss," said Mekboy Laru.

Lotzaboltz flashed up on the screen again taking everyone by surprise.
"One more fing you lot: Don't forget da whale!"

Meanwhile, on Razzagash, Big Mek Lotzaboltz was talking to his assorted mekboyz.
"I want ya the build a tellyport blasta that can tellyport through time," said Lotzaboltz.
"Yes, mek," said his mekboyz.
Meanwhile, 1 billion years in the past, on the space hulk, Mekboy Laru and his Grot orderlies and riggers were working on the thrusters. Slime came in to watch.
"How goez da work?" said Slime.
"Very good, Boss. We're just about ready to reverse da Thruster Intake Valve," said a Grot.
A com beep went off. It was Lotzaboltz.
"Are you ready?" said Lotzaboltz.
"Should be ready (sound of metal twisting) now!" said Mekboy Laru.
"Good," said Lotzaboltz. "Let it be known that if this does not work, we're rigging a tellyport blasta that should bring ya back."
Everyone (except the grots) got back to the bridge. Even Grotsnik was there.
"Do it," said Badrukk.
"Navigational controls offline," said Krotnik, a boy at the helm. Thruster fire commencing in 3...2...1...Now!"
Everyone watched the viewscreen as the supergiant's layers were blown off. Meanwhile, in the present, in Lotzaboltz's office, Lotzaboltz was watching too. About 2 minutes later, the core remained. So far, the plan had worked. Now, Mekboy Laru had to load a frag missile with krak power.

And 30 minutes or so later, a frag missile had been loaded with krak power. Everyone on the bridge watched as the missile fired. The missile hit the core, and then the core opened into a black hole.
After battening down the hatches and reinforcing the hull and shields, the space hulk headed into the newly-formed black hole.
It was just like the trip 1 billion years into the past. Microfractures and breaches formed along the hull. Consoles exploded. The difference this time, however, was the navigational controls were offline and the thrusters were pushing the hulk forward, not backwards.
And then, they came tumbling out of the black hole.
"Position?" asked Badrukk.
Hellpit looked at his ruined console after banging his fist on it a few times. "Right where we expected to be, Kaptin. Da present."
Big mek Lotzaboltz came onscreen. "I hope you are back in da present."
"We are," said Grotsnik.
"Then load up your supa-rokkit and close da black hole," said Lotzaboltz.
And 1 supa-rokkit fired.
First, the black hole's gravity well increased by a factor of 50. However, the space hulk was out of range. Then, the black hole got smaller and smaller. Just before it closed, a shockwave of interstellar dust came out of it, rocked the space hulk, and then, the hole closed forever. The bridge krew (and the meks on Razzagash) cheered. The space hulk then came to Razzagash for their promised party.
It was a wild party. There was lots of gunfire, good squigs, and big machinery. The party lasted 3 days.
THE END