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I was painting yesterday when i heard the song "The Road Goes Ever On" from the LOTR OST and it inspired me to write the following short story

http://thediceodyssey.blogspot.co.nz/2015/08/heroes.html

I tired to keep as true to the lore and background of 40k as i could.

Feedback is always welcome

There is actually an entire subforum dedicated to this kind of thing.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/forums/show/9.page

The background forum is more for debating canon (such as it is) lore.

Great little read.

Typos galore however.

You could make it more better by mentioning things like the fire warrior was a Shas'ui (sergeant) or the kabalite was a trueborn (Elite pureblood kabalite). Just fancy lingo to help immerse yourself in the races more like what you did with the space marine bit.