I have to disagree on most of these:
-thousand sons costing more to take extra guys: they were a small legion, but still ~10,000 strong at the time of prospero, so paying extra for the same stuff would be silly.
-the limit on the wolf's reroll a 1 to charge ONLY once is just to complex, just make it a flat reroll 1's to charge.
-I don't know if increasing the flat out makes sense for the scars (they like biking and going fast, so they someone modded all of their bikes without the mechanicus eating them) however, the fleet is a nice idea. their stuff should play into the fact that they were fairly neutral and distant from most their brothers (barring TS)
- the Dark Angels weren't super secretive untill after the heresy, yes?
- Blood Angels function fine, though I would add in something along the lines of the red thirst, since that makes more sense then having them run down fleeing enemies better.
-The emperor should not be T or S 7, probably 5 or 6 since he was basically a super strong human. making him have to not harness is just to OP, even for the Man Emperor of Mankind. Burning blade is to strong, he should be hitting at MAX S: 8 with it, as I said before, he's a human ( a strong one, probably around primarchs, but not the best of the primarchs)
-why does Magnus only have a 2+/3++? shouldn't it be closer to 2+/3++ since that's where most newer primarchs are going? remove the blessing limit and the free successes, increase his S: by 1 (probably me fanboying, but he kicked the gak out of russ untill he was blinded, and he was only half trying) Sire of the Thousand Sons should not be in a 12" bubble, no one else really does that, he just improves the entire army, no range limit.
- Dark secrets is just dumb unless I missed something in the fluff, the Angels weren't all secret untill the legion was split in two. beyond that, again with the 2+3++ thing that seems more common. why does he have scout? the relic blade would probably be unweildy, also, why the focus on night-fighting?
- just add fearless into sire of the blood angels, not with the LoS thing. just have his wings either count as an improved jet pack, or gives him flight. your Sire of the Blood Angels should already be half part of being a blood angel (furious charge via the red thirst)
- Psychic executioner is stupid, Magnus used powers in their duel, and if he was so anti-psykic, why did they bring the sisters of silence? this seems like a rule only to counter Magnus for a prospero campaign, and as such would just be silly. I would not let Russ drop stats for "fighting dirty" that seems a bit silly as well.
-why does Khan cause people to loose attacks? because he's steady? also, how does his bike let him hit faster and stronger with his sword? maybe +1 S and I for the turn he charge make the Shrapnel pistol leagues better, probably S: 5 AP: 3 Assault 3 or 4
- why 12 base attacks? what's wrong with 10? again with the bubble buffs from sire: he's there, everyone buffs since everyone knows he's there, it's not like world eaters forget their primarch is there and they stop trying as hard.
All in all, it's a nice idea, but I feel that the rules are mixes of too good, too situational, and too out of left field. Why is Russ so good at countering Psykers? why does Khan's bike suddenly make him permanently stronger? is the plate of the Sue a marry sue joke? why does Valdor's spear have Deflagrate? Cypher arguably wouldn't be the fallen quite yet. Bjorn only got good after prospero, IIRC. Why is Ariarcha's WS and BS so damn high? she is someone better at fighting then most damned primarchs!
I hate to sound so negative, but these rules just seem so... off.
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