Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.
2016/03/10 01:33:52
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
I've been trying to get my better half into warhammer 40k for a while now, and I've been thinking about making a thread about it for a few days.
How would you go about trying to convince the Miss's that she might have a fun time with it.
A little back story to my particular fight.
I've been modeling and playing warhammer for about 2 years now. About one year into it I convinced her to come to the store with me and pick out some models that she liked the look of and would put together with me. (Daemonettes of Slaanesh). We put 4 together and painted them up. We had fun, I think she did a good job too, but then we never touched them again. It's been another year and I've been bringing it up more and more. She's agreed to come to a game this weekend to see if it's something she might enjoy playing. In the meantime I've been sending her photos of completed models that might help peak her interest, and also been trying to suggest things about the armies and play styles to help guide her into wanting to pick an army. I honestly think I'm just overwhelming her with too much information and it might be making her more disinterested. Trying to explain the game/lore/tactics/aesthetics to her about armies is a lot more difficult than I first anticipated and there's no good website that breaks each army down in the mentioned categories. Anyways.
I guess the bottom line of this post is this. If you're a female gamer, or you know one who enjoys the game. What is it about the game that most appeals to you/them? How can I best bring her into the fold?
2016/03/10 01:45:00
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
Having her paint some minis and then play some Kill Team got my wife excited about it. Doesn't hurt that Orks are just that awesome.
BlaxicanX wrote: A young business man named Tom Kirby, who was a pupil of mine until he turned greedy, helped the capitalists hunt down and destroy the wargamers. He betrayed and murdered Games Workshop.
2016/03/10 02:16:23
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
Honestly I wouldn't try to force the Bobbie on anyone, but if she seems interested, let her paint some things, show her the armies if she wants, but don't try to force it on her.
Side note, mildly unrelated, my girlfriend (who knows nearly nothing about warhammer other than that it is a game with miniatures, randomly had a day dream that she shares with me about how she thinks it would be awesome to kill things with an axe with chain saw teeth, while also setting things on fire.
"I don't have a good feeling about this... Your mini looks like it has my mini's head on a stick..."
"From the immaterium to the Imperium, this is Radio Free Nostramo! Coming to you live from the Eye of Terror, this is your host, Captain Contagion, bringing you the latest Heretical hits!"
2016/03/10 03:31:16
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
I'd say to get her a demo game with staff before sitting in on a game with you.
Watching other people play without understand it is fun for about ten minutes. After that it's tedious at best and will turn anyone off.
As will gaming with someone who knows how to play *for* you.
You know, "Now roll three dice, you need at least two fours." without explaining why. Let someone who's job it is through and through teach her first. Let her have a primer game with staff while you deploy.
Instead of "letting her watch" (whoopee) get her to do your dice rolls. Tell her what you're killing and what's at stake, get her involved.
Otherwise the interest will drop, the phone will come out, and you will kill your chances.
Buttery Commissar wrote: I'd say to get her a demo game with staff before sitting in on a game with you.
Watching other people play without understand it is fun for about ten minutes. After that it's tedious at best and will turn anyone off.
As will gaming with someone who knows how to play *for* you.
You know, "Now roll three dice, you need at least two fours." without explaining why. Let someone who's job it is through and through teach her first. Let her have a primer game with staff while you deploy.
Instead of "letting her watch" (whoopee) get her to do your dice rolls. Tell her what you're killing and what's at stake, get her involved.
Otherwise the interest will drop, the phone will come out, and you will kill your chances.
I like this a lot. Unfortunately, I'm going to try and stay away from the local game store. It reeks like a thousand deaths in that place. Maybe if she is ever invested in the game I'll throw her in there to truly test the dedication. Everything else you said is right on point though, thanks for the insight.
2016/03/10 04:27:02
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
depends on the girl. never force anything on someone if it doesn't have to be done - life tip
also thats funny the guy above mentioned smell. thats the one thing the only girl I ever had said to me when we swung by a shop for me to grab some paint.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/10 04:28:33
I just recently got my lady to agree to play wargames with me. Well a wargame. I had been trying in desperation for a decade to get her to play 40k but she never had any interest beyond enjoying the fluff. This chick loves her some Khorne, the more blood for the blood god and skulls for the skull throne on a model the more she likes it, probably helps that she loves red too. We started playing AoS. I had already bought the starter and BRB so I was setup. The starter book has some awesome battleplans that slowly work up the size of your forces and how many extra rules you use plus gets you used to how terrain works etc. She would never play 40k because there was just too much to keep track of and with this everything you need to know is in front of you and she loves that, like board games. Once we make it through the BRB I want to go back and play with the Island of Blood starter armies as well, she digs skaven too. I'm glad that she finally shares my hobby and I have an excuse to buy Khorne models. I have never been a big fan of Khorne in the fluff but I do love the models. I'm glad AoS exists because otherwise I probably never would have got her pushing models around.
Edit: Oh and I forgot her one big rule. She will not play in an FLGS in front of other people. I had to build a board and terrain for home.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/10 07:27:21
“Rumours are naught but lies given shape by the foolish tongues of the ignorant. Ignorance begets heresy. Heresy begets retribution.” -Regimental Standard
2016/03/10 07:26:28
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
How would you go about trying to convince the Miss's that she might have a fun time with it.
I wouldn't. I would be happy enough if I managed to convince her that it was worth my time and money. Both spending money and time into 40k will result in not having lots of cool vacations unless you are both not having kids and have too much money to spend.
Suppose you do not care for the above, and just wanted this to be answered.
If you're a female gamer, or you know one who enjoys the game. What is it about the game that most appeals to you/them? How can I best bring her into the fold?
There is the " see it as a good game option " If she doesn't like the game after skipping trough a good "Front line gaming" battle report she will not like the game. Those things show people having fun on good boards with nicely painted armies. If she doesn't like these then she will most likely not like the game.
The other aspect is the lego for insane adults aspect. If she doesn't like to paint and and build them then she doesn't like it.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Don't be that guy who convinces his girlfriend start a dark eldar or tyranids army just to notice that she only started it to spend some time with you and doesn't really like the game that much.
I have seen this quite a few times.
This message was edited 6 times. Last update was at 2016/03/10 07:41:16
Inactive, user. New profile might pop up in a while
2016/03/10 07:47:57
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
It's never worked for my girl. She thought DE witches were "hot" and she has a goblin I painted for her sitting in her room, but that's about it
123ply: Dataslate- 4/4/3/3/1/3/1/8/6+
Autopistol, Steel Extendo, Puma Hoodie
USRs: "Preferred Enemy: Xenos"
"Hatred: Xenos"
"Racist and Proud of it" - Gains fleshbane, rending, rage, counter-attack, and X2 strength and toughness when locked in combat with units not in the "Imperium of Man" faction.
zeragrin wrote: Edit: Oh and I forgot her one big rule. She will not play in an FLGS in front of other people. I had to build a board and terrain for home.
Yes, I know there is absolutely no way I would take her down to the local store. I think it adds unnecessary stress on top of trying to get her into something she isn't already 100% sold on. It was hard enough when I first tried playing in the store. For people who spend so much time socializing in the store you'd think they wouldn't be so awkward.
Anyways, thanks for the input.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/10 08:01:09
2016/03/10 08:05:27
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
Yes, I know there is absolutely no way I would take her down to the local store. I think it adds unnecessary stress on top of trying to get her into something she isn't already 100% sold on. It was hard enough when I first tried playing in the store
This might be a good indicator that this isn't the right hobby for her.
Inactive, user. New profile might pop up in a while
2016/03/10 08:06:29
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
How would you go about trying to convince the Miss's that she might have a fun time with it.
I wouldn't. I would be happy enough if I managed to convince her that it was worth my time and money.
Both spending money and time into 40k will result in not having lots of cool vacations unless you are both not having kids and have too much money to spend.
Suppose you do not care for the above, and just wanted this to be answered.
If you're a female gamer, or you know one who enjoys the game. What is it about the game that most appeals to you/them? How can I best bring her into the fold?
There is the " see it as a good game option "
If she doesn't like the game after skipping trough a good "Front line gaming" battle report she will not like the game.
Those things show people having fun on good boards with nicely painted armies. If she doesn't like these then she will most likely not like the game.
The other aspect is the lego for insane adults aspect.
If she doesn't like to paint and and build them then she doesn't like it.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Don't be that guy who convinces his girlfriend start a dark eldar or tyranids army just to notice that she only started it to spend some time with you and doesn't really like the game that much.
I have seen this quite a few times.
No, any and all input is welcome.
We don't have children, and money isn't really the issue. I just want to share it with her. I spend enough time painting and modeling alone that it would be nice if she could sit down and enjoy it with me.
I see a lot of posts are saying not to force it on her and I haven't. I may have worded it so it kind of sounds like that, but it's more like suggestions. The last thing I would do is force her to do anything, but if I can paint it in such a light that it looks appealing and fun then I can help her convince herself that it will be fun. If that makes any sense.
Yes, I know there is absolutely no way I would take her down to the local store. I think it adds unnecessary stress on top of trying to get her into something she isn't already 100% sold on. It was hard enough when I first tried playing in the store
This might be a good indicator that this isn't the right hobby for her.
Well, I play with a cousin and a group of 3 other friends. We generally stick to our houses. We have our own game tables.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/10 08:07:31
2016/03/10 08:32:31
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
I'd recommend Zombicide (specifically) as a gateway drug. Fully co-op miniatures boardgame in the Zombie genre that's easy to pick up and play for newbies but has enough tactical play and randomness to give you "oh gak" moments.
My wife has played 40k with me like twice, about 5-10 years ago, is willing to play KoW with me if I suggest and push for it a little, but suggests that we play Zombicide. Of course, everyone is different unique yadda yadda, but it's a lot more accessable and a potential way to get her painting. Plague Zombies for Nurgle, Ho!
Yes, I know there is absolutely no way I would take her down to the local store. I think it adds unnecessary stress on top of trying to get her into something she isn't already 100% sold on. It was hard enough when I first tried playing in the store
This might be a good indicator that this isn't the right hobby for her.
You must have a nice local. I wouldn't consider introducing anyone to gaming at 2 of our 3 independent stores in Calgary.
No need to introduce the colourful characters, social mores, and exotic odours of our people at this early stage...
2016/03/10 08:55:17
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
Well, I think this is not a good idea. Hanging around with friends and playing table top is something that works very well.
Must be a very special girlfriend.
For me, its more like 40k costs my time, it cost my money, it costs my life (wife).
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/10 09:59:51
Former moderator 40kOnline
Lanchester's square law - please obey in list building!
Illumini: "And thank you for not finishing your post with a "" I'm sorry, but after 7200 's that has to be the most annoying sign-off ever."
I have tried to get my wife to play a couple of times but she is simply not interested, if she ever did relent and play a game I know it would be because I have pestered here to do so and I don't want that to be the case.
Zombicide as mentioned above is slightly more approachable and this is something she has played (still a bit reluctantly tbh)
I'll stick to keeping the hobby to myself indoors.
I've been playing a while, my first model was a lead marine and my first White Dwarf was bound with staples
2016/03/10 11:53:50
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
It's not a hobby that appeals to a lot of women, mainly because there's no reason for it to. The model line is basically "no girls allowed" except for a handful of Eldar chest pieces and an army that hasn't been updated since I was born.
I mean, what do you recommend if someone asks for an army where they can paint some female models too? Sisters? They cost a kidney and have about 15 models in the range, all old and all metal. Wytches, Banshees, and Harlequins are all TERRIBLE, and all the armies where GW could have made female models they choose not to. I'm becoming increasingly convinced the sculptors have just forgotten what people who aren't bald dudes look like, because the ratio of bald dudes to anything else in 40k is staggering.
"Got you, Yugi! Your Rubric Marines can't fall back because I have declared the tertiary kaptaris ka'tah stance two, after the secondary dacatarai ka'tah last turn!"
"So you think, Kaiba! I declared my Thousand Sons the cult of Duplicity, which means all my psykers have access to the Sorcerous Facade power! Furthermore I will spend 8 Cabal Points to invoke Cabbalistic Focus, causing the rubrics to appear behind your custodes! The Vengeance for the Wronged and Sorcerous Fullisade stratagems along with the Malefic Maelstrom infernal pact evoked earlier in the command phase allows me to double their firepower, letting me wound on 2s and 3s!"
"you think it is you who has gotten me, yugi, but it is I who have gotten you! I declare the ever-vigilant stratagem to attack your rubrics with my custodes' ranged weapons, which with the new codex are now DAMAGE 2!!"
"...which leads you straight into my trap, Kaiba, you see I now declare the stratagem Implacable Automata, reducing all damage from your attacks by 1 and triggering my All is Dust special rule!"
2016/03/10 12:34:11
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
I succeeded in convincing the mrs. into 40k, but due to GW's incompetence, her army (as she later found out) was absolute garbage, and her not being a super skilled player made it hard for her to enjoy the game.
She played Chaos. Rest in Peace Guadalupe and friends.
40k:
8th Edtion: 9405 pts - Varantekh Dynasty
2016/03/10 12:37:04
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
the_scotsman wrote: It's not a hobby that appeals to a lot of women, mainly because there's no reason for it to. The model line is basically "no girls allowed" except for a handful of Eldar chest pieces and an army that hasn't been updated since I was born.
No female models isn't what keeps (at least a large portion of the) girls out. There are quite a few popular (board) games with only male models and lots of miniature games with mixed models that aren't popular at all by girls.
What keeps them out is the game itself and the whole scene around it.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/10 12:56:46
Inactive, user. New profile might pop up in a while
2016/03/10 13:26:40
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
the_scotsman wrote: It's not a hobby that appeals to a lot of women, mainly because there's no reason for it to. The model line is basically "no girls allowed" except for a handful of Eldar chest pieces and an army that hasn't been updated since I was born.
No female models isn't what keeps (at least a large portion of the) girls out. There are quite a few popular (board) games with only male models and lots of miniature games with mixed models that aren't popular at all by girls.
What keeps them out is the game itself and the whole scene around it.
If it weren't for my own friends playing I wouldn't. The local store is filled with young teenagers playing. Nothing wrong with that but considering I'm 30 it's not really my kind of crowd. So yeah, I can imagine the scene around it is whats keeping some away.
6000p
1500p
750p
500p
2016/03/10 13:39:30
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
On top of that there is also the whole playing in a (GW) store.
40k is has a nerdy image even in the board gaming community. Playing it publicly in a mixed store isn't something everyone wants to do. GW stores with huge glass window and gaming tables clearly in sight doesn't make the threshold any lower.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/10 13:44:24
Inactive, user. New profile might pop up in a while
2016/03/10 13:47:45
Subject: Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
If you don't make it an option and don't make it happen, nothing happens.
If you don't make it an option and make it happen, she'll put up with it (at best) when you make her play. If she's the sort to like it (rare amongst the population at large), her interest may outweigh her disdain for being pushed so hard into it.
If you make it an option and make it happen, its like the above, but less negativity for any potential interest to overcome.
If you make it an option, but don't make it happen, then there is no negativity to overcome if she doesn't like it.
Remember that the percentage of people in general that would enjoy Warhammer if they gave it a chance is small.
2016/03/10 14:53:22
Subject: Re:Getting the girlfriend/significant other into Warhammer 40k
I have struggled to get my better half into the hobby as well. she was all excited about putting together a High Elf army and painting it, since she is big into World of Warcraft and fantasy in general, but then Age of Sigmar killed Warhammer Fantasy and our enthusiasm for the square-based armies. As much time and effort as I put into magnetizing those models to movement trays... Ugh. (I don't hate AoS, I'm just aggravated it came at the cost of Warhammer Fantasy.)
Back on topic of female gamers, I have had decent success getting my 7 year old step-daughter into the hobby. I introduced her to Warmachine/Hordes last year (since I was playing that at the time), but I'm getting back into 40K and thought she might like that as well. I take her to the FLGS, and she grabs the Tyranids before even looking at all of the other armies. And while her painting technique kinda leaves something to be desired, but her enthusiasm and excitement for painting and looking at the army books helped to rekindle my interest in the hobby.
As for her mom, she now teases "when plastic Sisters of Battle come out!" or "when you finish my High Elves!" whenever I mention it anymore. So there is hope, yes? Is GW waiting for Half-Life 3 before releasing plastic Sisters?
AM/IG - 122nd Terrax Guard: 2094/3000pts
Skitarii/Cult Mech: 1380/2000pts
Khorne Daemonkin - Host of the Nervous Knife: 1701/2000pts
Orks - Rampage Axez: 1753/2000pts 
" I'm sorry, but after 7200 's that has to be the most annoying sign-off ever." 
6000p
1500p
500p