Hey fellow son of Nocturn! Great to see the boys in green represent. You gotta either max those marine squads out or get em in rhinos, they wont last long foot slogging. With invulns on vehicles and move through cover if you take our rite of war, i feel sallies should be played with an armored spearhead type deal in mind. I personally go for a couple min squads in rhinos, support flamer squad in rhino, some dreads for
AA and
AT capped off by your praetor and drakes in a spartan or land raider and fill in whats left over with cool toys.
This is just how I like play, your list looks like great fun. But image going against Iron Warriors or the like, your boys on foot are going to get slaughtered (we are the SLOWEST legion) running up the board, Consider some transports and armor to get them where they need to be in one piece.
Hope this was helpful

.