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So, that was Five Nights At Freddy’s 2

Still isn’t the whole shilling, but for me better than the first.

Big problem is the lead actor just doesn’t seemed bothered.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Five Nights At Freddy’s

Sadly a wasted opportunity. It’s not in the least bit scary or creepy. It’s not bad bad. It just never quite gets going. Instead it just sorts of meanders, staring at its shoes.

Given it’s coming from Blumhouse, that’s extra disappointing.

Willy’s Wonderland is a knock off, yes. But in every way the superior film.

Will the sequel by any better?

The sequel is definitely better. Still not as good as Willy's Wonderland, but they learned a lot from the first one.

The Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

It starts off very slow and gets rather silly by the end but the FX still remains really impressive.

It's alright, but it doesn't really bring anything new to the franchise.

I’ve a soft spot for the modern Of The Apes movies.

They’re gorgeous movies, and usually interesting even if they remain a bit silly.

But it’s a good silly. It’s not getting bogged down in minutiae. It’s considering how to make it realistic, without being obsessed with it.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
I’ve a soft spot for the modern Of The Apes movies.

They’re gorgeous movies, and usually interesting even if they remain a bit silly.

But it’s a good silly. It’s not getting bogged down in minutiae. It’s considering how to make it realistic, without being obsessed with it.

Yep, I think the first three are really good movies, but this one was just lacking something.

The Fly II (1989)




While not quite a masterclass in horror as the first, The Fly II is still a damn fine sci-fi horror movie in it's own right with enough fatalities to make even Shang Tsung smile in glee. Yet he might not feel like lunch once the credits roll...

Animal lovers...if you cried watching The Neverending Story then you won't make it through The Fly II. Forget about it...this film is not for you.

Dreamcatcher

This is a very Stephen King movie. It has all the hallmarks of his work, and the movie tries to tackle them all straight. That means there is a lot of unbelievable and crazy stuff happening on the screen. Everyone is playing it straight.

Yet somehow it is really boring.

I haven’t seen the movie, but Dreamcatcher the book is one of King’s worst. From what I understand, he wrote it while recovering from being hit by a van to take his mind off the pain, without any intention to go back and give another draft or publish it, all while high af on pain killers. I believe that explanation because it feels like he gradually forgets what the book is about a third of the way through it, and then loses where he was going with it again two thirds of the way through it. It’s more of a sad trainwreck of a book than a spectacular cocaine trainwreck like Tommyknockers.

The one good—no, great—part of the book is that King legitimately makes flatulence terrifying (in the first third). Reading that book in the bus, every hobo who passed gas gave me a palpitating jumpscare.



@The Fly 2

If that dog scene is what I remember, there’s no way I’m clicking on it. That film is brutal for anyone who loves animals. On the positive side, it does have one of the best “just desserts” scenes for a villain in horror if the era. It’s a very satisfying conclusion.

Edit: this is not THE dog scene from The Fly 2. This is just a dog scene, and not bad.

 Flinty wrote:

 Lathe Biosas wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
And just in time for the Easter Bank Holiday? Disney+ has the five Jovovich Resident Evil films.

That’s the gak-pump sorted then!

Don't forget to watcher her new Monster Hunter movie, it's directed and produced by the same folks...

And looks like it wants to be another franchise.

Oh and cat people! It has cat people!

And it’s so boring I had to fast forward through most of it. Or maybe I stopped watching, I can’t recall. I can recall being decidedly unimpressed though.

Agreed. I fell asleep during it. I wasn't impressed enough by the 1/2(?) I did see to watch it again.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:


@The Fly 2

If that dog scene is what I remember, there’s no way I’m clicking on it. That film is brutal for anyone who loves animals. On the positive side, it does have one of the best “just desserts” scenes for a villain in horror if the era. It’s a very satisfying conclusion.

Edit: this is not THE dog scene from The Fly 2. This is just a dog scene, and not bad.

Yes it is a very heavy scene and I wouldn't link to it. First time I saw it back in 1990 - only 10 years old - I burst into tears as Martin did the kind thing. This later scene felt right as it only shows suspense and a surprising act from a "scary monster". What's that all about eh?

OK. Four Day Weekend! Let’s go! Activate the Gak Pump!

Resident Evil

The first one. Whilst hardly a movie version of the games? This is actually a perfectly enjoyable adaptation. It takes the core premise (Umbrella pretty evil, virus outbreak, zombies and mutant horrors) and slots them more or less satisfactorily into an action movie.

It ain’t the greatest video game adaptation, but it’s pretty damned far from the worst. And whilst now somewhat dated, the effects were solid at the time.

And hey, at least it didn’t use Drowning Pool’s Lets the Bodies Hit The Floor. Unlike so, so many of its contemporaries.

I’d give this a comfortable 7.5/10. It’s a perfectly reasonable zombie flick, and it didn’t exactly take a big steaming poop on its source material. Or too many liberties.

The liberties come later in the series…

Agreed on the first Ressie movie. All my peers were trashing it and asking what the hell was wrong with me for liking it...

...sorry!

I feel like films 1 and 2 were solid action zombie flicks. Perhaps not well connected to their source material; but decent action flicks that don't try to be anything else. They have a solid self contained story and generally lead one into the next fairly well.

The ones that follow get increasingly more detached and you get the feeling that they are films made with a LOT of material on the cuttingroom floor and in background material that never makes it into the films. They also get a bit jumpy in that they try for this huge grand story arc but often end up "running in corridors from zombies" due to budget aspects and so forth.

They sort of lose their way in that hollywood style of just getting more and more extreme. Still decent action flicks but increasingly getting more plot holes, oddities and a sense that there's just a better story that got cut up.



However I also have to note I've never played RE game so I've got the advantage that I don't have any preconceptions beyond "action and zombies". I can well appreciate that (like a LOT of adaptations), the liberties taken with the story and setting and so forth could indeed rank them as "horrible" films to fans of RE itself. Which can always be a big reason why a middle of the road film ends up with such a divided opinion ranking.

The third one is definitely wonky. It sets up the whole virus ravaged world where all life has taken a kicking and mass desertification.

Only for that not to feature elsewhere.

I still maintain that whilst they get increasingly sillier and sillier? The films are, if nothing else, a genuinely good laugh.

Just watched the 1980's Dune film... and kept wondering one thing throughout the film.

Was Duke Leto a descendant of Jared Leto?

Resident Evil Apocaylpse

A nice follow up on the original. However, I am going to criticise its fight choreography. Far too many jump cuts, and I really don’t like the slow motion stutter bits.

I get it’s probably to introduce a fever dream type feel, but they just don’t work for me.

Still a fun watch all the same but thanks to those two things, very much feels its age.

Super Mario Galaxy

Perfectly adequate kids film. Constant blinking lights and Nintendo Memberberries. No real plot to speak of.

I think I prefer the first one as it has at least a pretence of character development, that Galaxy obviously decided was surplus to requirements

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

Compared to the Mila Jovovich films, this is a pretty faithful adaptation of the original PlayStation Resident Evil game.

Too bad it's not very good. It just meanders through, with a couple jump scares and a lot of "atmosphere " and not much really going on. It's perfectly serviceable, but doesn't really work for me.

If you know which characters are in the franchise, you will see them appear, decked out with more plot armor than Marneus Calgar. While everyone else just dies.

I was hoping for more.

Oh, and don’t forget all the “Hi, Jill Valentine! Gee, have you seen Albert Wesker this morning!?” “Golly Gee, Leon Kennedy, I haven’t seen Albert Wesker this morning! Have you tried asking Ada Wong? Hey Ada Wong?” “Yes, Jill Valentine?” “Leon Kennedy is wondering if you, Ada Wong, have seen Albert Wesker this morning, Ada Wong” script nonsense.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Oh, and don’t forget all the “Hi, Jill Valentine! Gee, have you seen Albert Wesker this morning!?” “Golly Gee, Leon Kennedy, I haven’t seen Albert Wesker this morning! Have you tried asking Ada Wong? Hey Ada Wong?” “Yes, Jill Valentine?” “Leon Kennedy is wondering if you, Ada Wong, have seen Albert Wesker this morning, Ada Wong” script nonsense.

Huh? I'm thinking we saw different movies.

Ada Wong isn't even in the movie until the post credits scene.

Are you talking about wedging in of too many characters?

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
Just watched the 1980's Dune film... and kept wondering one thing throughout the film.

Was Duke Leto a descendant of Jared Leto?

How dare YOU.

Shield practice - RIGHT NOW!!!

Pride and Prejudice

I got to see the Kiera Knightley version on the big screen. Delightful.

Cracking dialogue as the screenwriter purposely did not stray far from the original with some great shots of the countryside and Bennet farm from a veteran TV director.

Very solid flick.

Exodus: Gods and Kings

Hey, tis the season and I could not find a free version of The Ten Commandments. This is a Ridley Scott flick with Christian Bale and you can tell.

Everytime I saw someone riding a horse it took me completely out of the film, and I saw it alot.

Oterhwise it was perfectly acceptable Hollywood flare and spectacle.

 Flinty wrote:
Super Mario Galaxy

Perfectly adequate kids film. Constant blinking lights and Nintendo Memberberries. No real plot to speak of.

I think I prefer the first one as it has at least a pretence of character development, that Galaxy obviously decided was surplus to requirements

Yup, I really, thoroughly enjoyed it but it was 100% empty calories. This is way closer to what I expected from the first and a shockingly faithful adaptation of the story of an actual Mario game. A princess is captured and pretty and creative stuff happens on the way to rescue her. This one has Yoshi!

The funny thing is, it's never "bad". It's super fun and entertaining. The animation and choreography is excellent and its absolutely stuffed with clever and creative stuff to see. At no point was I bored or disliking anything happening on screen it just doesn't have time for any of its characters. There's actually 3 major arcs that get a tiny setup and resolution but the movie is in no way interested in exploring any of them.

So, definitely not a "good" movie by any means but no where near as bad as the reviews would imply. I also get why its so hard to review. It's mostly just disappointing if you were a fan of the first and not even disappointing in the way a lot of animated sequels tend to be. Its just an animation thrill ride that's really missing an emotional core to elevate it to something more.

How appropriate is Exodus God and Kings for family viewing? Getting mighty tired of Prince of Egypt…or I would be if I didn’t manage to sneak out of watching it.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
How appropriate is Exodus God and Kings for family viewing? Getting mighty tired of Prince of Egypt…or I would be if I didn’t manage to sneak out of watching it.

If your group is mighty religious and wants a close retelling of the story, then they might not like Exodus.

I saw it with a friend who stormed out halfway through and was offended by bits of it.

It's definitely PG-13. There's some crocodiles eating folks and other gribbly bits.

The big thing to know about Exodus is that it recasts what's supposed to be a spiritual story about faith and group unity into a Ridley Scott battle movie. So it's about as appropriate as any of his other like movies imo. Kingdom of Heaven, Gladiator, etc. But it's also like not even remotely like the Bible story at all really.

Project Hail Mary (2026)

Nicely timed before returning home to catch the Atremis II mission orbit the Moon. "Interstellar meets ET" does indeed come to mind, and its an enjoyable sci-fi film. A bit emotional and comical.

Oh. And some people didn't like the fact that god (or an angel, or a hallucination caused by a head injury) was played by a child.

Thanks, Lathe Bioses and LordofHats.

Sounds promising. I’ll show my family the trailer and see what they think.

Somewhat related note: are there any good movies about Kaiju-sized frogs? We always get a laugh out of the biblically accurate Plague of Frog midrash, and this year all the kids wanted frog toys.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
The Killer (1989)

One vicious killer. One fierce cop. Ten thousand bullets.


”Mickey!” ”Dumbo!” *dramatic music swells*

“Shrimp Head!” “Little B!” *dramatic music swells*


One deadly assassin and one determined cop denude the Hong Kong underground of henchmen in the name of redemption. Seriously, they kill all the henchmen. They leave not a single man to hench.

The Killer is surprisingly emotional for a film with a Robocop+ body count. It is absolutely required viewing for anyone who enjoys crime movies, action movies, or bromance.

Seeing it on the big screen with a full audience really brought home what an incredible crowd pleaser it is. Our showing all had an interview with John Woo afterwards that was really entertaining. For example, the tram scene was apparently improvised without any permits or any of the extras knowing what was going on.

I used to LOVE The Killer movie as a teen.

Regarding Exodus: Gods and Kings.... well.... it is a Ridley Scott film so it is PG-13 but I seem to recall that your family has see some amazing stuff.

As far as accuracy to the Old Testament? I am not the guy to answer that. I am no biblical scholar. It seems to try to have it both ways about "scientific explanations" of the Plagues, but they are still maybe brought on by Supernatural forces? However, it gets a bit graphic in the Plague sectifon even if the battle scenes are typical Hollywood silliness* with no blood that I recall. There is a scene where Ramses is holding and shaking his dead child that is pretty disturbing to watch and could be triggering.

However, I will say the performances by Bale and Joel Edgerton are very strong.


*= Look if people can ride around on horses, why are they using chariots again? At the time, horses were not evolved enough to carry a man, hence the Chariots. This movie likes to igore that with peopel riding around all over the place on horses.