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Was trying to watch a battle report recently..was Space Wolves vs Nids. A challenge was going on, a Wulfen pack vs some kind of nids. SW play said something along the lines of "okay pack leader has 1 3++ with Storm Shield......my brain imploded. The only option for a Wulfen Pack Leader is 2 x Frost Claws.

Is this common? Is 40k now just a "make your own rules and if other play is okay with then good" type of game?

Technically any game is a "make up your own rules and if the other player is ok with then good" type of game.

And just because it is a battle report doesn't mean that rules mistakes were made unintentionally. i challenge you to find any battle report that plays ALL the rules perfectly.

I would even argue that there has never been a perfect game of 7th edition 40k played ever. there are just too many rules for everyone to get perfect.

People at my game store mess up list building all the time, but most of the time it is a genuine misunderstanding of how list building works, that is probably what happened in the report you are talking about.

Standard wulfens can take a SS. Forgetting that the pack leader can only take frost claws is certainly a mistake, but I wouldn't call that "random shenanigans".
And I would certainly believe that it's an honest mistake.