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Made in us
Brainless Servitor





Northern Oregon

You ever wonder what a space Marine would do if he's got like, a serious case of Jock itch or something but he's deep behind enemy lines so he can't scratch or apply some ointment or something. Seriously, like, what if he's en route aboard a Thunderhawk and he suddenly feels an itch on his back or something? Haha seriously, what if he accidentally applied to much force to a fart and completely gak himself and gak is literally running down his legs? What if the Chapter master is giving a rousing speech before a great battle and feels a sudden urge to release some Bowel breath, so he tries to release it quietly and his plan on releasing the silent mist goes completely awry and he ends up completely devastating the interior of his suit with Colon blow? Like, everyone near listening to him knows that he just violently sharted his pants but he's the Chapter master, he's the top Dog so no one says anything (Even though the Chaplain is noticeably on the verge of busting up with laughter) what do they do? how can they possibly take their Chapter Master seriously from that point on? here's an even greater question, what if the Chapter Master RESIGNS because his brother Marines literally cannot take him serious or pay any attention to him, how would he go about explaining that to the rest of the Imperium?
"So former Chapter Master Alexander, what happened to your status?"
"Well, like...like...I was giving a speech and like...uh...well, like...I just had to go really bad but like, I couldn't because i was giving a speech and just...went...right in front of my Chapter..."
"Oh...well then...HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
This ^ is how every situation in regards to his former position as Chapter Master would go. Here's another one, what if a Centurion falls over? Like, he misjudged the height of a barricade and he tries to vault it (Which is a feat in it of itself) and just completely biffs it and there's no one around to help him beside other Centurions? Or, what if a Dreadnought falls over, he is with a squad of Scouts because they won't leave him alone because, you know, he's a Dreadnought, he's a legend and the Scouts are n00bs so they are just in awe of his presence and the Scout sergeant actually allows the Scouts to accompany the Dreadnought and the Dreadnought falls over and now the Scouts are trying not to laugh because he's a legend but at the same time the Dreadnought literally cannot get back up so after the battle the Scouts have to go back and get some other Marines and even contact the Techmarine and tell him about the situation so the Techmarine gets ahold of a Crane and they go back to the Dreadnought to lift him back up and now the Dreadnought is kinda fearful and weary of going back out to battle again because his self esteem is lowered? What then guys?
See, it's going to take a Necromancer who can resurrect Plato or Socrates to answer these questions, these questions are absolute Philosophical pinnacles of the mind... I invite you all to debate these scenarios, and hopefully...we will all find the answer to these questions...

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/08/12 07:42:55


"THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH" 
   
Made in us
Auspicious Daemonic Herald





Too long didn't read

But seriously who cares?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/08/12 07:45:47


 
   
Made in us
Brainless Servitor





Northern Oregon

Take your time my friend...it's a pretty hefty page of words so yeah, It's going to be an undertaking that's for sure

Don't know actually, just some things i thought about while reading some fluff about the Space Marines

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/08/12 07:47:22


"THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH" 
   
Made in de
Experienced Maneater






Scratching: Ignore the itch, the flesh is weak. Find strength in a prayer.

A Space Marine armour recycles human waste. So the Thunderhawk gak is his next meal behind enemy lines.

Centurions and Dreadnoughts are able to get up by themselves, saying otherwise is heresy, and heresy must be purged. BLAM!
   
Made in gb
The Last Chancer Who Survived




United Kingdom

I'm guessing you are twelve, but here's the answers:

SM probably can't shart themselves, there is likely a tube running up their ass.

You cannot resign as CM, it is a duty.

Itches are to be ignored, like pain.

Chaplains don't laugh, happiness leads to slaanesh, slaanesh is heresy.

Centy falls over, waits for a Servitor, platoon of Serfs or a Battul Brothar.

 Colbster82 wrote:
Or, what if a Dreadnought falls over, he is with a squad of Scouts because they won't leave him alone because, you know, he's a Dreadnought, he's a legend and the Scouts are n00bs so they are just in awe of his presence and the Scout sergeant actually allows the Scouts to accompany the Dreadnought and the Dreadnought falls over and now the Scouts are trying not to laugh because he's a legend but at the same time the Dreadnought literally cannot get back up so after the battle the Scouts have to go back and get some other Marines and even contact the Techmarine and tell him about the situation so the Techmarine gets ahold of a Crane and they go back to the Dreadnought to lift him back up and now the Dreadnought is kinda fearful and weary of going back out to battle again because his self esteem is lowered? What then guys?


1) Wat

2) Grammar and Punctuation pls

3) Rule of Grimdark - it's not seen as funny, it's seen as an obstacle to progress. Brother Galvaros' internment is not to be laughed at.

4) Dreadnoughts don't become fearful. Hence "Dreadnought" and "They Shall Know No Fear".
   
 
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