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I want to give a shout out to Kestral for letting me use his amazing fluff of the Oyashima Nihon. It really gave me a good foundation on building Shima Hario. I'm really sorry if some parts of the fluff I added on doesn't match your idea of what Oyashima Nihon culture is. If you guys want to check out his fluff and his amazing models its mudda right below. You guys seriously need to check it out!

I'm sorry for reposting this fluff in differents parts of the forum. I'm sincerely sorry.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/494987.page

I love the universe and theme of Warhammer 40k since I was a child. I don't play the tabletop game but I instead play Dawn of War trilogy. I'm also not a strong writer and my grammar isn't great. So I do apologize for my atrocious typing. I decided to join the forum for hopes of creating fluff with other people or discussing lore of Warhammer 40k. I'm a noblebright...I just want to get that across. I really enjoy the concept of people overcoming obstacles becoming a Mary sue (jk) in Warhammer 40k dispute the grimdark and gritty themes of Warhammer.

My end of goal of this year is to create a typical complex background story or actually real story for my own and anyone entertainment, it's about a Xeno Ordo inquisitor name Scarn Galahed III and his retinue of misfits being involved in an exodite world known as Felwinter. The story doesn't mainly revolve around the inquisitor but his silent and stoic right-hand man Shimo hario (the name can be changed anytime.) . Obviously, you can tell by the name his ethnicity is an Asian descendant. I'm not striving to create a anime arc or create a bland Mary sue. I thought it would be a cool idea to explore different ethnicity of Warhammer 40k.

Shimo hario a descendant of a long forgotten feudal world that places honor and loyalty above all exemplified one of the old ancient Terran warrior culture long forgotten now. He witnesses how the world of Felwinter and the exodites tear apart his Inquisition retinue slowly as they travel to investigate an ancient city of the exodites in highest mountains of Felwinter known as Lon's Gate. Inquisitor Callian determine to learn secret of Lon's Gate and other secrets it might hold.

“Death before dishonor, Service for the God-Emperor, my loyalty only to inquisitor Scarn Galahed III!”

OVERVIEW
Shimo ’s Galahed’s Winter Hario earned his title for his years of dedicated and unflinching loyalty service to Inquisitor Galahed as his right-hand man. Hario is known for conducting mop-up missions and removing loose ends in Inquisitor Galahed’s network of spies, informants, and “allies”.

Though, Some members of the inquisition had read up on Galahed’s right-hand man and view Hario as nothing but a janitor that cleans up after the brash Inquisitor Galahed. There have been numerous accounts where other new and upcoming inquisitors accused and trying catch Galahed in act of dealing with xenos. Unfortunately, those inquisitors have always come up empty-handed. People who associate themselves with Inquisitor Galahed have also sealed their faith, as Inquisitor Galahed puts it lightly “Your life is forever buried under my Winter.”

Shimo’s Galahed’s Winter Hario is barely heard of in the imperium and the inquisition. While Hario cleans up the trails that the inquisitor Galahed leaves, The inquisitor ensures Hario is nothing but a whisper among the imperium.

Hario’s place of origin is from Oyashima Nihon a collective of worlds where honor and loyalty are placed the highest in their way of life. Oyashima preserving a long forgotten ancient warrior culture of terra known as Japan. Hario was born and raised in the culture until the age of twenty-three. Whereas, Nihon excelled in void engineering, bioengineering, the crafting of machine spirits, and the making of plasma weaponry. Hario’s family focus more of the warrior aspect of Nihon. They train and forge him into becoming the pure warrior embodiment of Nihon culture and for the God-emperor in the code of Takeshidō (bushido) and bushi no michi (way of samurai). Hario was a different breed from Nihon. He was like every other person in Nihon. He had a deep zealous loyalty to Oyashima. He wanted something more out of his life. He seeks a greater purpose out in the universe, He wanted freedom out of his rigid lifestyle, but he truly desired a different perspective of the universe.

He made a decision for himself and silently took the next shuttle out of Nihon. Hario knew his action would leave a great stain of dishonor of his own family and leave them in a far worse position, they will never recover from. Hario’s action ensured his family was the laughingstock in Oyashima Nihon and Hario leaving his family display to people of Nihon that his family lacks honor and loyalty. They would carry that stigma for the rest of their life. After, Hario’s departure he would never know what happen to his family until he met Inquisitor Galahed.

Hario ended up boarding a rogue trader’s ship and it’s destination Chogoris (mundus planus). Hario himself not sure what business the rogue trader have in Chogoris. He manages to get off rogue trader’s ship and spent another ten years living in Chogoris. He learned the way of riding and archery from a local tribe. Hario enjoys his nomadic lifestyle and people he surrounds himself with.
In 990999.M41, Chogoris was among the systems besieged by a Red Corsair fleet under Huron Blackheart. A small dark eldar raiding party attack Hario’s tribe and kidnapped his people when he was out hunting by himself. This was Hario first time dealing with xenos

I hit another writing block on finishing the fluff for Shima Hario but please give your feedback and ideas on how I should approach this.

Name: Felwinter
Segmentum: Segmentum Pacificus
Sector: Classified
Subsector: Classified
System: Classified
Population: Classified
Affiliation: Classified
Class: Ice world

Overview
Felwinter a heavily forested world cover in snow all around the world. It's another world where only the strong survive and those who fail to adapt dies. It’s wildlife consists of apex predators and other animals that arrived from Frenis after the Great Crusade, The Frensian wildlife were introduced by group of pirates who planned to use Felwinter as a exotic hunting ground; Fenrisian wolves, drakes, great white bears, fenrisian mammoths, and frensian elks were brought in from Frenis. The introduction of the frensian wildlife to Felwinter almost replace the original wildlife. Felwinter's remaining wildlife that survived were the felwinter dinosaurs, felwinter white ravens, and the felwinter great white lions.

The Felwinter’s original inhabitants are the exodites who rule and roam the world. They are directly and spiritually connected to the world just like the craftworld eldars, The world houses the spirits of all fallen exodites in Felwinter. Those fallen exodites spirits are deeply rooted in the world, they have an everlasting influence on felwinter growth and condition. When the introduction of the fenrisian animals came to Felwinter from the pirates. The exodites call it “The Time of the Taming” where they spent millenniums cultivating and learning to tame most of frensian wildlife and same time removing the pirates from the world.The frensian wildlife multiply tenfold almost replacing the existing wildlife, but the exodites learn to tame the frenzy wolves, drakes, white bears, and elks. The exodites manage to bring stability back to Felwinter’s environment and wildlife. The frensian wildlife after millenniums still retain the same physical traits and attributes of their native homeworld.

The exodites call themselves the Frost Athains (lords), but before they title themselves the Frost Athains. They have once divided into two large tribes a millennium ago over a dispute whether the exodites should integrate more technology into their lifestyles.

This dispute was controversial for the Felwinter’s exodites. The two tribes were split one calling themselves the Cor’sum who supported integration for more technology, while the other tribe call Sa’ume rejected the idea. The sa’ume became a nomadic tribe exploring the in and out of felwinter. While Cor’sum begin creating a magnificent city filled with technology that could help cope with the harsh winters. Though, the felwinter’s exodites learn to tame wildlife of the world. It still didn’t stop the predators from hunting the exodites especially a megasaurus.

The Cor’sum and Sa’ume continue on with their lifestyle, the Cor’sum had turn Felwinter’s largest and highest mountain into a city naming it Lon’olace. Lon’olace attaining similar architecture of a eldar craftworld city but still having a tribal aspect to it. The Cor’sum had a pleasant lifestyle and slowly relinquishing the old exodites way of life. The Cor’sum steadily working and progressing their technology and lifestyle just like their craftworld counterpart.

The Sa’ume on other hand also progress in their lifestyle and culture. They begin taming and riding the fenrisian wolves as their mounts. Since, felwinter’s dinosaurs, drakes, great white bears, and the lions live closer to the mountains where Cor’sum live. While fenrisian wolves can be find almost everywhere in Felwinter hunting down mammoths and elks, the wolves had became a trademark in Sa’ume tribe. A Sa’ume tribesman was always seen with a wolf on his side. Sa’ume became fierce riders and knew every details about Felwinter.

The Sa’ume and Cor’sum both bitter and disappointed at each other choices change when the arrival of a necron dystany.

I hit a writer block after this and I need research more on the necron lore to progress the development of the world and my story. I really want feedback on how I can improve or change the fluff in my world. All this background story is subject to change. I just wanted to create the world that has snowy temperament and wolves. I really would like if people provided their own two cents and add-on to this little project of mine or share their own aspirations of their own created worlds or stories.

Thanks Dakka and people who took their time to read this heretic's post

Good start.

A search for Eldar and Exodites should give you some ideas from here on Dakka.

Really like some aspects here. The setting is good, and I love exodites. No clue about Necrons or dark eldar really but I'll give you my two cents for what it's worth.

First off- format. Big blocks of text put people off reading. If you want more responses I'd suggest breaking your original post up into sub-titled sections with the main text in a [ spoiler ] tag.
That way people can look over the titles and click on their interests. Like a section for "Shima Hario" and another for "Planet: Fellwinter" and one for each exodite tribe or however it breaks up best.

You can edit that original post as much as you like as you go along.

Content- I Like Hario's origin story. I'd be happy to read a little scene from it. Something a bit closer to the character rather than an overview helps to bring him to life. Can't help much with Dark Eldar though.

Fellwinter is a cool place. I like elements of the wildlife and environment. I like the exodite split a lot. And the time of taming idea. But here's my take on it if I may? Presented like I suggested above.

theCrowe's version of your story.


It's not a massive leap, I know. It's just a slightly neater version of your story.

As far as ethnic/language/culture ideas in 40k goes its a tricky thing. Just because there is no pre-existing samurai faction already extant in the 40k cannon, say, some Imperial Guard regiment, doesn't mean there can't be. But I wouldn't worry too much about trying to tie it back to the real historical culture. Just look at Tallarn Desert Raiders and Vostroyans. They use the names and styles and the broad strokes without ever really mentioning the ancient earth cultures of the Middle East or Russia.

Anyway, I'd be happy to contribute to your world if you'll have me. Direct me as you will.

Thecrowe thank you so much for the input and adding to my world. I was trying to find a way to make the world a lot neater and you provided an awesome solution to it. I'm going to change the part of exodites splits right now.

its very good. But I do not know enough about Eldar to help. But I would like to share my own fluff.

Some explanation.
A lot of my fluff is scattered across my model blog. Snippets of battles from various combatants (some on the receiving end, of the device in question in the fluff), or stories of how they came to be in-fluff, and other things.
Other fluff like the planet, characters within the army and so on are separate and jotted down for the sake of fun of course.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/417916.page

Some of the earlier blog fluff I personally refer to as "non-canon" (silly as it sounds), to the later stuff as the fluff as a whole has changed over time. Which ones are or are-not "canon" in my own fluff I cannot recall off hand, so take some with a grain of salt as it all doesn't fit at the moment.

Also: Every tank has a name (unless I havn't gotten to it or forgotten) attached to it.

Anyways.

Army Pic.


Planet: Schrott
Designation: Vault World
Segmentum Tempestus
Climate: Barren wasteland, Metal-Contaminated Oceans.
Owned by the Adeptus Mechanicus
Planetary Law Enforcement: "The Enforcers" (Arbitrators are present obviously)
Gravity: 1.3 of that of Terra.



The planet of Schrott has a long history with the Mechanicus. It is said that it used to be a green planet with forests and more, but that is long gone.
When the Mechanicus arrived long ago (exact date of colonization and events have been lost or expunged from records) they built a colossal vault into the very crust of the planet.
Said Vault is believed to span most if not beyond that of the largest continent on Schrott, its doors being large enough a pair of Imperator Class Titans could stride out with room for an armored battalion between them when fully opened, and so thick it could survive a direct hit from planetary bombardment.

What is contained within the Vault is not known, with most of the records being lost. But what has been found have been experiments, prototypes and more from all across the Imperium from countless years. When or how the devices were sealed within is unknown.
Expeditions regularly venture deep into the Vault to find what they can. But some of the experiments roam the depths and are utterly lethal and kill those they find.
Weapons that have been located include but are not limited too, the High Voltage Plasma Discharge Array now mounted to the chassis of a Leman Russ tank (Tesla Tank), Microwave beam cannon, also mounted to a Leman Russ chassis, and many more.

Such weapons drew the ire of the Dark Mechanicus which launched an invasion upon the planet during the Horus Heresy, hoping to steal the secrets within. The Imperium retaliated and the end result was the planet was scoured of life and reduced to a wasteland.
Space craft crashed across the planet, mountains of scrap metal from battles cover the planet and the few cities that once were on the planet are in ruin. but the Vault held without a scratch, its door sealed shut.

No trace of the darkness remains. But life returned to the planet slowly and adapted.

(Some Wildlife)


Weather, caused by the destruction upon the planet


Those who live on Schrott who are not directly associated with the Mechanicus eek out a life in the ruins of the world. the most intact spacecraft that fell from the heavens now are used as cities, with smaller towns built from scrap and what resources the citizens can scrounge. The Mechanicus presence is mainly around the Vault itself, but they rule the planet over all.

Weapons and vehicles have been resurrected from the refuse of the planet beyond the vault more than once. One area known as the "Valley of the Fallen Giants" has had multiple Baneblade class tanks pulled from their grave and repaired.

The Culture of Non-mechanicus Citizens prizes survival, cunning, and cleverness. (If anything imagine the game RAGE, combined with Mad Max but of course with 40k and other stuff).

A few traditions of Schrott non-mechanicus citizens.


The primary currency is "Bolts" (reference to Ratchet and Clank), but are not physical bolts such as those holding things together, but are more coins in the shape of nuts and bolts, there are specific nuances that make then distinct for their purpose.

The 91st Experimental (my army), is a experimental test bed for the Mechanicus. Weapons that are recovered from within the Vault are studied and refurbished and data is taken as they are field tested.
Officially it is a Skitarii army (it belongs to the Mechanicus after all, but it started as an IG army, then gained, Experimental SM, the MT Scions, then finally Skitarii when they were released!), but a large portion of the infantry are not very augmented, therefore requiring a Commissar like the Imperial Guard. Special Forces similar to the Tempetus are used to remove trouble-some targets with fully augmented Skitarii troops being deployed to protect the most sacred of experimental weapons such as the Ordinatus Majoris.

The army is based out of a Ark Mechanicus ship named the "Forge Hammer" that is big enough to act as transport and War ship. While difficult due to the nature of warp travel, the Forge Hammer endeavors to make regular stops at Schrott to pick up anything newly discovered within the Vault.

The command structure of the army is mainly 3 individuals with others beneath them. (Aka, they are the main characters I created)


A few battle fluff things: Warning, giant walls o text with pics.



There is Plenty of other fluff, and its constantly being changed. That and its hard enough to share it, I'm not scared of criticism in it self. I couldn't explain it if I wanted too.

But feel free to read it. I thought I would share it.

My own writing tends not to be the "fluff for my army" type or really even world building type stuff. I like character arcs and complete stories. So I tend to plan a lot and go back and revise as I write until the whole thing wraps up complete. Then I post chapter by chapter every few days.

I've done this with both the story's linked in my signature and I have another two in the pipeline. One is another Smirking story (about a different Smirking) only its orks on an ocean world. And the other is a Necromunda story. I mostly use my fiction to explore existing 40k societies and cultures rather than to invent new ones within a 40k setting. Though ocean dwelling orks could be considered a bit of a departure.

I also like to present myself odd style guides. For example The Smirking stories are standard 3rd person past participle but for some reason I don't let Smirking talk. Of at least he very very rarely does. There's loads of other dialogue but its other orks and grots and Smirking is mostly a passive actor in his own tale.

Eldar Recital on the other hand is always preset tense, though still 3rd person. I found it really engaging and just strange enough to hold the otherness of the Eldar. There was dialogue and some very abstract metaphors and poetics. A real chance to go epic and use quite antiquated language at times.

My Necromunda story on the other hand is entirely monologue. Just the voice of one guy. Often speaking with others, but we only hear his voice. I don't know why I chose to do this. It's tricky but I'm enjoying the challenge.


Really enjoyed having a look at your fluff Engine of War a really nice take on things. Reminds me a little of some of the things i love about Battletech which was fun. I'll have to have a closer look at your Minis too, its a seriously impressive force.

My fluff that I post here on Dakka tends to be built loosely around either an army I own, or in some cases an Dark Heresy game I have run or parttaken in over the years. My stories also tend to go somewhat of the deep end when it comes to the body count but it normaly serves a purpose to advance the story or either show just how outgunned and outclassed the heros or villians are by their foes.

Here are a few links if anyone should be intrested

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/556552.page

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/701491.page

I've named my DKoK commander Zingraff, which is also my username here and elsewhere. This may seem exceptionally unoriginal, but then you haven't considered my reasoning for it.

Not accounting for the absolute coolness which is the name itself, one of my own ancestors was called Zingraff, and he was professional cavalryman from Alsace. My ancestor was a "rittmester" or "ride master", the equivalent of a cavalry captain. The name reflects both German and French influences, it's really a German name, but written in French.

All of this fits incredibly well with the French-German WW1 Verdun theme of Krieg, down to my ancestor's background as cavalry officer, which is clearly what the DKoK commander is designed to look like.

As for my army in large, I imagine they're conscripted from the Krieg casemate city of Teilhard, located deep beneath the surface, where the walls are covered with murals depicting the old city as it looked before the civil war. Old Teilhard remains as a bombed out ruin on the surface above.

"Casemate city" is a term I've created to describe the particular type of underground habitation I imagine is typical of Krieg. It's a huge, bomb-proof bunker complex, containing everything they need to survive, with a large, mostly female population, with the majority of the men having been conscripted to serve in the Death Korps. The women in Teilhard work in munition plants, food production, the civil service, as health care professionals, and they get recruited to the local Magos Biologus, with which Krieg society is intimately associated. Men deemed unfit for the army also serve in all branches of Krieg society and get put to work at the best of their ability.