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You have 10 games under your belt and that other players have similiar experience, correct?

10 games in is realy a beginner level of experience - you didn't even had a chance to play every basic scenario twice (that takes at least 12 games by definition) and you haven't even started on having multiple games against each faction available to you. You said "I just want fun, close, knife-edge games" - this doesn't really happen in 40K as a standard, unless players know exactly how to counterplay things or a "bad dice day" happen to even first turn advantage. And one thing in this game you described shows that players involved probably just lack experience: your Wraithblades shouldn't really get to charge anything. Even countercharge. They should be either shot down from far away, avoided by outmanouvering them or assaulted to strip them of Rage attacks. Your list isn't really OP (single Scatbike squad is just a priority target, not a game braker), it's just that Eldar faction is quite easy to learn because of all those specialised or overly universal units. If you think that foot slogging Dire Avengers are too strong, then there is really a lot for all of you to learn.

My advice to you and your friends - play a lot of small, 1K games instead of rare 3K games. And replay games on the same terrain using same armies, but with different deployment zones or missions, to grasp a feel on how important utilising terrain and movement or playing to mission really is. Try to fit multiple games with a single opponent in one session, so you can both play a second or third game that day against a well known enemy. Not everything in 40K goes down to lists being OP or weak and experience do matter a lot.