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Factions smack talk. This thread is intended to be a little bit of tongue-in-cheek fun. If you do not have a sense of humour do not continue. I do realise that this thread has the potential to either be very funny and amusing, or closed very quickly.

Bring out your best factions smacktalk.
For example: (taken from the "hated faction" thread:

Space Marines? If they were a spice they would be flour.

Let's keep it clear of the usual, racism, sexism, politics etc let's just try and keep this clean and fun.

I have a line I like to use when I win about Space Marines needing two-dozen extra organs and genetic re-wiring to make up for the genetic deficiency of having a Y chromosome instead of an extra X, and still not being on-par, but misandry is still sexism.

I'm kinda horny (new Death Guard). It's only really smack talk if you aren't. In which case "you were totally gored" or "I gored you" is, I guess a put down.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Or you could go with the" yes' option. Doesn't seem like a put down? Say it after everything the other person does. Even picking up the dice.

Even if you don't believe it and want to rile a Tau player up just say their army is op in 8th.

As a Tyranid player I am constantly "complementing my opponents army then adding "With Katchup"


IE: Your Ultarmarines are great.....with katchup.

^ this is amazing

 Gamgee wrote:
Even if you don't believe it and want to rile a Tau player up just say their army is op in 8th.

Go jump in a lake

As a Tyranid player, comment on the flavor of the enemy.

"Marines taste so bland..."

"Elder are always bitter..."

"Guard are like chips, can't eat just one"

One of the players at my store is a staunch Imperium player. As such, he had to go out and get Guilliman. So, whenever he puts him on the field, I always use his alternate names: Robot Girlyman, Rawbutt Gorillaman, Robert Ghiliesuit, Reboot Gelman, Papa Smurf...

There's a Marine player who always calls me Traitor (I play Chaos). There was that one time where we tried a 4-way free for all that ended with everyone else but me quitting due to time constraints. He tried the name-calling thing, to which I replied,
"What was that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of you running away!"

For space marines just bring up whatever meme is associated with their chapter. Traitor dark Angels, yiffing space wolves, Mary Sue UM/GK, the fact blood Angels are sparkly twilight vampires, etc. Anyone who has been in the hobby for any length of time with said army will want to throttle you, because they've probably heard it a thousand times.

Sisters just ask if you can borrow some blood.

For IG, I usually just make snide remarks about the supposed heroism of the troopers. "Oh yeah, nothing says courage like hiding as far away from the enemy as possible and running the moment anything gets within arm's reach. Can't imagine why they need an officer whose only job is threatening to shoot them in the head if they run". I actually annoyed someone so bad with that he stopped using the fallback option the rest of the game. I considered that a great success.

Once I made a smurf joke at a tau player and he went on a legitimately angry rant about how the ultra marines were more smurf like, and how T'au were totally grimdark. Which was hilarious.

I used to ask Ork players what formations they were using but sadly that fun is over.

Similarly, I used to ask necron players what loadout their cryptek had but no one even gets that these days.

Tell the tyranid player you think one of his converted models (that he clearly out a lot of time into) is very clever because "If they use all organic material on a planet to create more tyranids it'd make sense that at least a few would be made entirely of gak".

I was once told me taste in armies and my taste in women were very similar. While playing DG.

You orks aren't very fun-guys!

Eh?

No?

i'm sorry.