Diary of Kjenne 1.
Lips cracked, and bleeding. I’m hardly able to control my muscles. I’ve pissed blood twice in the past five days, the only times I’ve urinated. I am a world of pain and agony. I don’t know how I can go on. Everything hurts and bleeds. I only have my leggings and this obsidian knife. I don’t know how to continue and I don’t know how to stop.
I actually wish at this point I was dead. The forces fighting in me for life, fight, death, struggle are just overwhelming – who wins?
I push over a scrub ridge and come face to face with a rock cat. It growls, spits and hisses at me. I freeze up. I’ve never been so terrified and sanguine about anything. It jumps – I manage to get my knife up between me and it’s throat, and it dies, sputtering and hating me. My face is covered in it’s blood, I start to lick it, drink it, take as much as possible. While salty, it’s the only water I’ve had in 5 days.
As I slowly come back to full consciousness I realize … this is what I was made for.
Who would have guessed that the rock cat was but an entrance exam? I never would have. If I had known I’d probably have let myself be killed right there and then. That was a piece of cake compared to this. I have ran 100 kloms wearing 30ks of pack. Today. Every bit of my body, from my brain, balls and heels hurt.
Why am I here?
gak, I don’t even know how to describe it. After 2 months of instruction I finally understand it. HjelmStrom is just a giant ball in space, circling a ‘star’ - a solar object that produces heat from fusion(?) … anyway, I was told that there where millions if not billions of these things in space.
Really, a billion of HjelmStroms? Does that mean there are a billion of me out there?
How do you grasp that concept – how do you reconcile your little piece …. to the grand scale of everything else?
Apparently I will become a Astartes. A space marine. I’ve been selected and will join their initiation games. If I fail I’ll die. If I succeed I’ll be a space marine. This will probably be my last entry in the diary. They tell me I won’t want to write here once I ‘become’ … that’s a rather frightening term isn’t it? ‘Become’ …
gak I hope I can do it.
gak I hope it’s worth it.
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"Sir Yes Sir"
"Why aren't you looking at me? Why aren't you paying attention to the mission
I can't really tell him that he terrifies me, that he represents everything I could be, but also represents all of my past failures, my families failures, that he is the representation of the failure of my genetic past.
That I'm on the tail end of a downward spiral of a great house? I can't. I just say.
"Sir, Sorry Sir." Automatically Appended Next Post:
Gak this vent is claustrophobic. So I'm in the ass end of the ultima segmentum and we're fighting 'tyranids' whatever the hell those are. I'm sneaking through these gak vent shafts that are barely wide enough to fit me. I don't have full armor, but scout armor is ok, l can at least move quickly and fairly quietly through these EmporerForsaken Shafts.
gak - what was that, kind of a claws scraping against metal noise.... Automatically Appended Next Post:
OH Emperor NO! It's a full tyranid. I am in no way able to deal with this threat - however I open up full throttle on my bolter in the hope it weakens it before it goes against my brothers. Suddenly I hear a gigantic crashing noise and the floor drops out beneath me. It's my brothers, they cut the crawl shaft with their bolters in unison - dropping me amongst them and the tyranid before them. Even as I'm falling I'm in awe of my brothers firing patterns, perfection in unison - they cut the shaft to save me, then cut the shaft to bring the tyranid down. Before I hit the floor beneath me - they have the alien purged. I am in awe of what they can. While I'm trained in the arts of war - I see my brothers bring it to perfection. Before I hit the floor I realize - if I can achieve even 1/10th of what they can do - I'll have done the Emperors Will.
I am not His Will.
I am His Tool. Automatically Appended Next Post:
Service to the Emperor.
I am not his will, but I am his tool. Automatically Appended Next Post: