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Dragons On Vigilus.

As the dragons of the gargoyles chapter (raven guard hybrids) arrived on to vigilus they sent out the genestealers and broodlord to subjectgate a nearby cult and then evacuate them killing the Patriarch. But the gargoyles mission was different. They were attacked by a battalion of Nurgle's death guard lead by Typhus. Apparently, there was a relic in the area that Typhus was going to acquire. The gargoyles knew that if the relic fell into Chaos’s heads it could turn the tide of the conflict in the area. So to stop them they had to get to it.

First, they sent a message back to the Astro thrope, who then relayed it to Draco, who then gave them their orders.

"Aquire the relic and take Typhus’s scythe so it may be purified and upgraded to a new weapon."

And so began the battle. It was hard-fought but the intercessor Sargent Cyruntius Cyburos managed to grab the relic and with the help of a compenter dreadnaught Akhazriel and his squad forced the death guard to flee. Typhus was beaten by a captain who managed to grab the scythe before he was killed by a plague doctor. He threw it to Akhazriel and then was slain.

Losses were minimum. One squad of five tact marines and five scouts were lost but the worst was one of the smaller dreadnoughts. It was destroyed in the battle.

As the genestealers were approaching the cult's location they saw two battalions of Imperial Space Marines one from the Dark Angels and one from the Space Wolves to stop them. The gargoyles were reinforced and sent to fight them. Cyruntius Cyburos' squad was wiped out but he survived, barely and the squad of wolfs and wuulfin were gone.

The dark angels had made it to the city but the cult was already being moved. The Patriarch was dead so the gargoyles had time to meet reinforcements near the battle area. They engaged the dark angels, killing them but with horrendous casualties. All but Akhazriel died.

Cyruntius Cyburos was transported back to the ship to be healed and our mission was a success. Now they must hide and wait for their gene father to arrive. In the meantime, Man Reaper needed to be cleaned.

You might want to consider punctuation in your story. And, perhaps, explain how a genestealer cult and a space Marine chapter (?) are working together, for starters.

I would echo greatbigtree's response. In fact I've gone so far as doing up a version for you.

Dragons On Vigilus.

As the dragons of the gargoyles chapter (raven guard hybrids) arrived on to vigilus they sent out the genestealers and broodlord to subjectgate a nearby cult and then evacuate them killing the Patriarch. But the gargoyles mission was different. They were attacked by a battalion of nurgles dear guard lead by Typhus. Apparently there was a relic in the area that Typhus was going to acquire. The gargoyles knew that if the relic fell into Chaos’s heads it could turn the tide of the conflict in the area. So to stop them they had to get to it.

First they sent a message back to the Astro thrope, who then relayed it to Draco, who then gave them their orders.

"Aquire the relic and take Typhus’s scythe so it may be purified and upgraded to a new weapon."

And so began the battle. It was hard fought but the intessor Sargent Cyruntius Cyburos managed to grab the relic and with the help of a compenter deradnaught Akhazriel and his squad forced the death guard to flee. Typhus was beaten by a captain who managed to grab the scythe before he was killed by a plague doctor. He threw it to Akhazriel and then was slain.

Losses were minimum. One squad of five tactmarines and five scouts were lost but the worst was one of the smaller dreadnoughts. It was destroyed in the battle.

As the genestealers were approaching the cult's location they saw two battalions of Imperial Space Marines one from the Dark Angels and one from the Space Wolves to stop them. The gargoyles were reinforced and sent to fight them. Cyruntius Cyburos' squad was wiped out but he survived, barely and the squad of wolfs and wuulfin were gone.

The dark angels had made it to the city but the cult was already being moved. The Patriarch was dead so the gargoyles had time to meet reinforcements near the battle area. They engaged the dark angels, killing them but with horunds (?) casualties. All but Akhazriel died.

Cyruntius Cyburos was transported back to the ship to be healed and our mission was a success. Now they must hide and wait for their gene father to arrive. In the mean time Man Reaper needed to be cleaned.

**************

I've tried to punctuate as well as possible to keep what seems like your intention. And occasionally I've tidied up wording just a little but I've kept it as original as possible. I hope this helps you see specifically how it's done. My intention here is to be helpful but I'm assuming your free-flow style was unintended. If you meant for it to be that way I can't say that it was an effective device for telling story.

As far as the content of the story goes, that's fine. If you want to have hybrid Raven guards and genestealers then go for it. If you want to have them fighting both Chaos and Imperial forces there's room for that. But your reader will have questions if you don't give them the back story so try to be aware of that. We don't know what you know if you don't tell us.

(OOC)The dragons are a clone army of space marines from all first founding legions so traitor and loyalist all forces in this army have Tyranid D.N.A. so the can have a hive mind I would only use the Tyranid hive disciplines or make some similar to the space marine codex but with different names.

and make a fan codex but none of the players want to do a narrative play the only reason I did Dragons on Vigilus the first time was me and a few others were doing a narrative league with Vigilus ablaze halfway through.

(IC) The gargoyles were almost wiped out so I sent in Draco Ultra (Ultra Marines) killed by Grey Knights the Wyverns (Salamanders) Killed by Guard then finally I sent in the Sons of Dracul (Blood Angels) Beat Ultra Marines and even the force Commander Virgil(Commander Dante) beat Guiluman.

The Sons of Dracul have also taken casualties and so have the other companies I haven't been able to make enough to replace the losses so now the survivors are making there own version of Death Watch the D.V.F (Dragon Veteran Force) so now the Sargent that survived is now a captain the

Relic Compentor was lost to the Black Legion but the forces still hold strong. When the fighting was done we got out with our new stock of biomass and converts our next move try to make a Living Saint using the Worship of the cults we had acquired to make the first matriarch but so far attempts

have been unsuccessful. I wish I could speak to one or even the emperor to see how they are made most saints are martyrs ones who died and have souls Tyranids have no souls even my marines are no more the human-like swarm lords Commander Virgil is like a swarm lord with a little more

independent thinking. It surprised me when he won against the lord of ultramar the dreadnoughts were to see if I could put a synapse creature in and have it protected it worked for a time but the armor was not allowing them to use psych powers but if AZ, as I called him, were to survive the black

legion maybe he could have developed them. Anyways I'm rambling our next project is to find Sisters of Battle and acquire samples to make some clones then a matriarch until then I hope that I don't find any more hardship.

Draco Amino unknown date M42