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 Mynameisalie wrote:
Also, I think no inter-caste marriage sounds just a bit too much like Tau. That's why I allowed it.
By the way, the Silenced are psychic blanks. Anti-psykers, if you will. They have to be kept away from their psyker counterparts (i.e. the rest of the Civil Lynx), but are used in military applications where anti-psychic power is needed. Mostly when daemons are involved.

Its too progressive for such a backwards society. Please drop it. Also, silvite serves no purpose. Its not interesting. All it does it make the Lynx look even more like 'special super thundercats.'

In his book, On Writing, Stephen King wrote that you need to "kill your darlings". Don't get involved with your story. If you find yourself rooting for a character in your story, kill 'em right away. Otherwise the quality of your writing will dip. He's one of the most successful writers in the world, so follow his advice. Be cold and detached; try not to root for your Lynx. Try not to care whether or not they live or die.

EDIT: Probably should've PMed this instead, but I think it contains some useful advice, albeit indirectly.

 LoneLictor wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Also, I think no inter-caste marriage sounds just a bit too much like Tau. That's why I allowed it.
By the way, the Silenced are psychic blanks. Anti-psykers, if you will. They have to be kept away from their psyker counterparts (i.e. the rest of the Civil Lynx), but are used in military applications where anti-psychic power is needed. Mostly when daemons are involved.

Its too progressive for such a backwards society. Please drop it. Also, silvite serves no purpose. Its not interesting. All it does it make the Lynx look even more like 'special super thundercats.'

In his book, On Writing, Stephen King wrote that you need to "kill your darlings". Don't get involved with your story. If you find yourself rooting for a character in your story, kill 'em right away. Otherwise the quality of your writing will dip. He's one of the most successful writers in the world, so follow his advice. Be cold and detached; try not to root for your Lynx. Try not to care whether or not they live or die.

Just because Stephen King said it doesn't mean you should do it. Killing a character because you become attached to them is a Plan Z scenario, after all your other plans have failed. How many books would be different because the author decided "Oh no, I like XYZ! I must kill him/her now!"? I'm gunna go out on a limb and say a whole frigging bunch, because as a writer is it next to impossible not to become attached to a character, but it is very much the opposite to be able to learn when to ignore that attachment, and when to utilise it. Being detatched from your characters might sound like a great idea to start with, but think about when you're attached to them.

You start to feel their feelings, think how they would think, do what they would do and say what they would say; how does that not scream "useful"? You've reached a scene when your character must make a decision, and you have two options: go for the detached decision, where you write it only to progress the plot, or the informed decision, when you plunge yourself deep into your character and ask yourself, "What would I do?". One of them tells a story, the other one tells a story that sounds like it actually would have happened, because the character chose that decison, not someone looking at the plot through a window.

Not caring whether they live or die also sounds like it would be useful, and sometimes it is, but it attachment can make you evaluate everything. Is this death meaningful? Or am I just doing it for the sake of the plot/sake of someone important dying? There's also the fact that death scenes will be so much more emotional if the writer, too, is grieving. If you've distanced yourself, then you feel cold, you feel emotionless, to you it's just another death. If you're attached to them, then you feel sadness, you feel the guilt of letting them go, you feel how everyone watching, everyone who finds out about it, everyone in the story who cares for that character, feels. Without that feeling, that death is just another death, but with it, it's not just a death, it's a part of the story that rends the reader's heart and opens them up to how the writer felt, how much this character actually meant, and how much is dying with them. Their death could mean something later in the plot, but I'd far, far prefer to know something, or at least suspect something, because of just how much the writer cared, than have to flick back to when they died and re-read it in order to link it to something that happens later on. One of those is me being so engrossed in the story that my own feelings and emotions are guiding me through it; the other is because my eyes and brain are comprehending text. Which would you prefer?

I'm not saying that Stephen King is wrong, but I don't think his words as you've written them are meant to be interpretted as they are being. I also don't think it's particularly correct to say "He's one of the most successful authors in the world, so follow his advice." Does the fact that his books have made him money mean that everything he says must be true? Is it that his books are considered to be very good, does that mean he speaks truth? It's a mistake to follow the advice of an author simply because he's successful; follow it because you believe it.

I try to become attached to my characters when I write. If I come to a point where I feel they could be killed off, and I find myself not wanting to do it, I go through with it. If the author loves a character, they are much easier to write.

I may not have been clear, but I was suggesting that this sentient rock be what the Lynx are using, not your 'Silvite'. Its a rock which grows over time, through worship and care, and can grow anywhere. So when it initially landed in the meteor shower, a clan (or whatever your ferals use as a group, pack I guess) came across it and were enthralled. They bore shards of the rock to the packs they were allied with, who accepted this boon and the knowledge which came with it. They then took the shards to their enemies through force, 'enlightening' them. When they reached for the stars and discovered space travel, they carried parts of the rock with them, and where they set up new colonies, they began to grow new rock at the centre of each city.

It's from this rock that the Lynx draw their amplified psychic powers. It's from this rock that the Lynx learned the mysteries of space travel and high technology (it pretty much has to be a warp infused rock for it to make any sense. Maybe it fell off of Draigo's boot while he was kicking Slaanesh in the nuts?).

The rock (you should come up with a better name for it) is held close to a Lynx's skin. After mere moments of contact, it has bonded with its host. Attempted separations after this time have ended with either the death or the madness of the Lynx in question, as well as the crumbling of the rock.

They believe that the rock is linked to their goddess, when in fact the rock has simply played upon their already existing religion, which was based around a deity who didn't exist.

Something like that. Not bad for someone who is sick as a dog, if you don't mind me saying. And the Draigo thing is a weak attempt at a joke.

Silvete is, from what I can tell, seft abundant. It's use literally creates more. Still pretty special snowflake, and pretty boring.

 LoneLictor wrote:
In his book, On Writing, Stephen King wrote that you need to "kill your darlings". Don't get involved with your story. If you find yourself rooting for a character in your story, kill 'em right away. Otherwise the quality of your writing will dip.

I'm just gonna say, King seems to have interpreted that differently. "Murder your darlings", at least how I interpret it, is meant to mean you should keep an eye on how super-awesome-badass you make your characters in order to maintain realism, and less "you like your character? Kill him off immediately!". I'd consider it a successful book when I feel emotions for the characters, which seems like a no-brainer to me.

Avatar 720 wrote:EDIT: Probably should've PMed this instead, but I think it contains some useful advice, albeit indirectly.

LoneLictor wrote:

Mynameisalie wrote:Also, I think no inter-caste marriage sounds just a bit too much like Tau. That's why I allowed it.
By the way, the Silenced are psychic blanks. Anti-psykers, if you will. They have to be kept away from their psyker counterparts (i.e. the rest of the Civil Lynx), but are used in military applications where anti-psychic power is needed. Mostly when daemons are involved.

Its too progressive for such a backwards society. Please drop it. Also, silvite serves no purpose. Its not interesting. All it does it make the Lynx look even more like 'special super thundercats.'

In his book, On Writing, Stephen King wrote that you need to "kill your darlings". Don't get involved with your story. If you find yourself rooting for a character in your story, kill 'em right away. Otherwise the quality of your writing will dip. He's one of the most successful writers in the world, so follow his advice. Be cold and detached; try not to root for your Lynx. Try not to care whether or not they live or die.

Just because Stephen King said it doesn't mean you should do it. Killing a character because you become attached to them is a Plan Z scenario, after all your other plans have failed. How many books would be different because the author decided "Oh no, I like XYZ! I must kill him/her now!"? I'm gunna go out on a limb and say a whole frigging bunch, because as a writer is it next to impossible not to become attached to a character, but it is very much the opposite to be able to learn when to ignore that attachment, and when to utilise it. Being detatched from your characters might sound like a great idea to start with, but think about when you're attached to them.

You start to feel their feelings, think how they would think, do what they would do and say what they would say; how does that not scream "useful"? You've reached a scene when your character must make a decision, and you have two options: go for the detached decision, where you write it only to progress the plot, or the informed decision, when you plunge yourself deep into your character and ask yourself, "What would I do?". One of them tells a story, the other one tells a story that sounds like it actually would have happened, because the character chose that decison, not someone looking at the plot through a window.

Not caring whether they live or die also sounds like it would be useful, and sometimes it is, but it attachment can make you evaluate everything. Is this death meaningful? Or am I just doing it for the sake of the plot/sake of someone important dying? There's also the fact that death scenes will be so much more emotional if the writer, too, is grieving. If you've distanced yourself, then you feel cold, you feel emotionless, to you it's just another death. If you're attached to them, then you feel sadness, you feel the guilt of letting them go, you feel how everyone watching, everyone who finds out about it, everyone in the story who cares for that character, feels. Without that feeling, that death is just another death, but with it, it's not just a death, it's a part of the story that rends the reader's heart and opens them up to how the writer felt, how much this character actually meant, and how much is dying with them. Their death could mean something later in the plot, but I'd far, far prefer to know something, or at least suspect something, because of just how much the writer cared, than have to flick back to when they died and re-read it in order to link it to something that happens later on. One of those is me being so engrossed in the story that my own feelings and emotions are guiding me through it; the other is because my eyes and brain are comprehending text. Which would you prefer?

I'm not saying that Stephen King is wrong, but I don't think his words as you've written them are meant to be interpretted as they are being. I also don't think it's particularly correct to say "He's one of the most successful authors in the world, so follow his advice." Does the fact that his books have made him money mean that everything he says must be true? Is it that his books are considered to be very good, does that mean he speaks truth? It's a mistake to follow the advice of an author simply because he's successful; follow it because you believe it.

Yeah, being attached to your characters works for you and I get what you're saying. But it doesn't seem to be working for Mynameisalie (he's trying to keep his race as perfect and special as possible), so that's why I gave him that advice. I should've worded my post better.

shrike wrote:

LoneLictor wrote:In his book, On Writing, Stephen King wrote that you need to "kill your darlings". Don't get involved with your story. If you find yourself rooting for a character in your story, kill 'em right away. Otherwise the quality of your writing will dip.

I'm just gonna say, King seems to have interpreted that differently. "Murder your darlings", at least how I interpret it, is meant to mean you should keep an eye on how super-awesome-badass you make your characters in order to maintain realism, and less "you like your character? Kill him off immediately!". I'd consider it a successful book when I feel emotions for the characters, which seems like a no-brainer to me.

Again, I should've worded that post better. What I should've said is, "Don't write about what you want to happen. Write about what would make a good story. The exception to this rule is if what you want to happen is a good story. Then go for it."

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Why? What's wrong with the Halo Stars?

The Halo Stars are outside the galaxy for one thing. Two, you haven't described how the Lynx can travel between worlds. So either they are native to the Halo Stars, and therefore out of reach of the Imperium (The Astronomican drops short of these by a long ways), or they have some sort of interstellar travel that doesn't deal with the Warp the same way humans do.

Humanity is limited to the limits of the Astronomican, diving into the Warp to travel between worlds.

Chaos can strike anywhere within the boundaries of the Warp, giving them near limitless mobility.

Eldar travel through the Webway, which nobody quite knows how far it stretches, besides remaining in the galaxy.

Ork Ships go where they need to. Their natural resistance to Warp mutation allows them to travel easily. And if they get stuck in the Warp, they just fight for the hell of it.

Tau skim along the surface of the Warp, traveling safer but slower, limiting their sphere of influence.

Tyranids slingshot themselves off of planets and suns, using their gravity and psychic power to bend realspace, allowing them to hit other regions. They also travel perpendicular to the galactic plane, causing widespread invasions

Necrons phase into systems from their ships, appearing and disappearing instantly.


Apart from the Tyranids, next to nobody has access to the Halo Stars. They are beyond accessible space. Why should the Lynx be able to reach them where others cannot?

 LoneLictor wrote:

shrike wrote:

LoneLictor wrote:In his book, On Writing, Stephen King wrote that you need to "kill your darlings". Don't get involved with your story. If you find yourself rooting for a character in your story, kill 'em right away. Otherwise the quality of your writing will dip.

I'm just gonna say, King seems to have interpreted that differently. "Murder your darlings", at least how I interpret it, is meant to mean you should keep an eye on how super-awesome-badass you make your characters in order to maintain realism, and less "you like your character? Kill him off immediately!". I'd consider it a successful book when I feel emotions for the characters, which seems like a no-brainer to me.

Again, I should've worded that post better. What I should've said is, "Don't write about what you want to happen. Write about what would make a good story. The exception to this rule is if what you want to happen is a good story. Then go for it."

ah, that makes more sense ^^

How would the Ghoul Stars do? They've been traversed before, but quite unsuccessfully I believe. The Death Specters watch over them and sod all is known about the Specters except they're a 13th founding chapter and they're all albinos. It also gives the Lynx a handy 'enemy' of sorts to start out with, since they've not really been expanded on fluff-wise so it's not completely likely that any contact with the Lynx will be extremely recent, and quite possibly hasn't warranted very much attention at all.

As far as I know, the Ghoul Stars themselves are home to a number of strange aliens, described as being supernatural.

If these aliens even come close to rivaling a civilization, the Death Specters would be all over them. I thought I read somewhere that those guys are really aggressive.

Ok, fine. They can go in the Ghoul Stars.

So, Mynameisalie, I have some questions.

1) Why keep silvite?
2) Is the Goddess a Chaos God? If so, what emotion is she powered by?
3) Do Lynx still cry memories, or have you changed that?
4) Do Lynx still have inter-caste marriage, or have you changed that?

How do they achieve interstellar travel?

 Arcsquad12 wrote:
How do they achieve interstellar travel?

Stargates...

So webway gates then.

Aren't we trying to limit the Eldar comparisons?

Meh...Tau Phase Drives then.

We're just hypothesizing. We haven't been given any details on their FTL to work with.

What about something wholly original. Fixed points like webway gates, but here's the deal, they can't send one thing one way. They need something on the other side to come back. It would be like a swap.

How about them using crystal beacons ala Protoss pylons to 'warp in' their forces/structures?

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Ok, fine. They can go in the Ghoul Stars.

But my Marine chapter is about to go crusading there! D:

Then your chapter is screwed.

 Arcsquad12 wrote:
We're just hypothesizing. We haven't been given any details on their FTL to work with.

FTL?

Faster than light travel.

Yo, Mynameisalie, are you even going to respond to what I said? Or did you put me on your ignore list?

If so, that hurts.

No, just I was busy with homework. Sorry.

 LoneLictor wrote:
So, Mynameisalie, I have some questions.

1) Why keep silvite?
2) Is the Goddess a Chaos God? If so, what emotion is she powered by?
3) Do Lynx still cry memories, or have you changed that?
4) Do Lynx still have inter-caste marriage, or have you changed that?

1. Good point. However, I was going to make it a psychic tie to the rocks joshi mentioned earlier.
2. I don't know. She could be, or maybe not. I think I might as well. Emotion? Er... Was going to say Hope, but that infringes on Tzeentch...
3. The tears are replacements for the Lynx's generally worse memory. They traded memory for enhanced powers. Kind of.
4. I just thought it was a bit too similar to the Tau. But I'll change it if you really want me to.

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 LoneLictor wrote:
So, Mynameisalie, I have some questions.

1) Why keep silvite?
2) Is the Goddess a Chaos God? If so, what emotion is she powered by?
3) Do Lynx still cry memories, or have you changed that?
4) Do Lynx still have inter-caste marriage, or have you changed that?

1. Good point. However, I was going to make it a psychic tie to the rocks joshi mentioned earlier.
2. I don't know. She could be, or maybe not. I think I might as well. Emotion? Er... Was going to say Hope, but that infringes on Tzeentch...
3. The tears are replacements for the Lynx's generally worse memory. They traded memory for enhanced powers. Kind of.
4. I just thought it was a bit too similar to the Tau. But I'll change it if you really want me to.

1) Yeah, I would suggest cutting it. All that you really need to say is, "Lynx are psychic." You don't need to explain why.
2) This is really up to you, but I think it would work better as a Chaos God. Its fine if its a God of Hope; you could just say its one of the minor Gods competing with Tzeentch for the Hope pantheon.
3) The memory thing doesn't seem to add much to the Lynx. I would suggest cutting it.
4) I feel like it would work better if the castes were separate. Its hard to imagine a Royal marrying a Lost, or even a Devote marrying a Craft.

Well, considering marriage, Lost and Silenced aren't allowed to marry at all. Royals may marry whomever they choose, as long as they hold a very high position (otherwise, inbreeding may insue).
So the only real inter-caste marriage is between Devotion, Warrior, Star and Prodigy. Mind you, not very many prodigies live that long.