Movie Theater hires "Ninjas" to keep people quiet

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**Lordhat**

http://geektyrant.com/news/2012/9/13/london-movie-theater-hires-ninjas-to-keep-people-quiet.html

The Prince Charles Cinema in London is looking to up their efforts in stopping people from talking and texting in their movie theaters. They are recruiting a volunteer ninja taskforce to keep audience attendees in check. The ninjas will wear skintight black Morphsuits, and if anyone busts out a cell phone, starts talking, or being rude in anyway the ninjas will jump into action and kick some ass! OK, they won't really be kicking ass, but they will make them put the phone away or shut up.

In return for the ninjas' services, the theater gives them free admission to movie screenings, which isn't a bad exchange of services, especially if you're a control freak looking to lay down the law. Gregor Lawson, a co-founder of Morphsuits, said that he was inspired to take action by his own experience in the theater.

I’m a big fan of going to the cinema, but there’s an unspoken code of conduct when you’re watching a movie that some people just don’t understand. Then when some fans were discussing being ninjas in their Morphsuits on our Facebook page I had a eureka moment. I thought I’d find a cinema and see if we could bring a light hearted taskforce to the aid of movie fans.

I love the idea of these ninjas walking around keeping people in check. I love going to the movies, but I hate it when some donkey-cave in front of me busts out their cell phone and starts texting or starts talking during the film. I'd love it if a ninja popped out of nowhere and made them put the phone away, and then just vanished. Here's an experience from moviegoer Abdul Stagg, who was recently silenced by the ninjas during a screening,

I normally hate noisy people in cinemas, but I got a call from my friend just as the movie started and thought I could get away with taking it. The last thing I expected was two completely blacked-out people suddenly appearing by our seats and give me and my mates a warning to shut up. It was actually pretty terrifying at first, but then I realised it was a bit of a laugh and a great way to make it clear what I was doing was having an impact on those around me. It certainly made me hang up and shut up for the rest of the film.

What do you think about these movie theater ninjas? Would you like to see them in your local theater?

I certainly would love this, but here it would probably get somebody assaulted.

**Bran Dawri**

Sounds awesome. Big thumbs up.

**MrMerlin**

Great idea! We need this in Germany too, lol. Some time ago, there was some giant douche-kid a few seats away from mine, and he thought he was some kind of narrator. He had seen the movie before and kept telling everyone what happened next.
After half an hour, everyone was shouting at him to shut the feth up. He didn't. RAGE!

**p_gray99**

Heh, I'd love this although I can imagine this idea being more disturbing than the phone if done badly.

**Velour_Fog**

2 warnings, then decapitation for the offender. That would be brilliant.

**d-usa**

Skarwael wrote:
2 warnings, then decapitation for the offender. That would be brilliant.

Only if you stop the movie, drag the offender to the front, and have the pimple faced popcorn kit do the deed. Lifting of the severed head while screaming "are you not entertained?" are optional.

**Iur_tae_mont**

d-usa wrote:
Skarwael wrote:
2 warnings, then decapitation for the offender. That would be brilliant.

Only if you stop the movie, drag the offender to the front, and have the pimple faced popcorn kit do the deed. Lifting of the severed head while screaming "are you not entertained?" are optional.

I'd pay a dollar to see that.

**d-usa**

Iur_tae_mont wrote:
d-usa wrote:
Skarwael wrote:
2 warnings, then decapitation for the offender. That would be brilliant.

Only if you stop the movie, drag the offender to the front, and have the pimple faced popcorn kit do the deed. Lifting of the severed head while screaming "are you not entertained?" are optional.

I'd pay a dollar to see that.

I just read that again, and I am reading it in the voice of the teenage guy from the Simpsons, cracked voice and all.

**Mannahnin**

...funny coincidence, I am making my response in the voice of Scruffy, from Futurama.

**motyak**

I wouldn't be allowed to do this, I'd get too many kicks out of waiting for a scary movie and just jumping people. Would be fun though.

**Mr Morden**

Great stuff - ban eating inside the theatre and I would be even happier

**Testify**

Blatently not a publicity stunt.

It's not like they called these guys "ninjas" for no fething reason.

**whembly**

Oh.. I can see this getting out of hand fast.

The best way to handle this is to have the ushers "walk" the aisle and hang in the back for a few minutes.

I should know, I was a movie theater usher was one of my favorite jobs after school/during college.

Eventually, I was "that guy" who put together the movies / trailers and watched them every Thursday night after hours (to ensure it's built properly)... (and yes, my friends got to see 'em with me!)

Now... there's a cool trend in my neck of the woods... 5-star theaters... recliner/heated seats... beer on tap... prepared meal... very nice setup:
http://www.wehrenberg.com/newsDetail.aspx?view=PR&id=87

**RossDas**

Do they still sell Poppets in cinemas, or Maltesers in boxes? C'mon - a box full of marble-like objects going "rattle rattle" all the way through the movie; at least sell them in bags for goodness sake!

**Seaward**

Lordhat wrote:

I certainly would love this, but here it would ~~probably~~ definitely get somebody assaulted.

Yep.

**Cyporiean**

oh look, kuroko being called ninja again.

**Samus_aran115**

That's genius. Although I disapprove of them being called ninja, or "ninjas", which is incorrect. The plural of ninja is ninja. Adding an 's' is a western/eastern concept.

Ninja on the horizon, a group of ninja, a couple ninja

I have a better idea. Two medieval knights, in full plate with longswords and kite shields at the door.

Ye, varily! Knave! Turn off thine talking charm!

**Monster Rain**

Since I think that being disruptive during a movie, and many other similar types of anti-social behavior, should be capital crimes and punishable by death, I think this is a good start.

**Mannahnin**

Monster Rain wrote:
Since I think that being disruptive during a movie, and many other similar types of anti-social behavior, should be capital crimes and punishable by death, I think this is a good start.

Insert Shepherd Book quote here, about the special hell reserved for child molesters, and people who talk in the theater.

**kronk**

If you interrupt people's movies by talking, junk punches from the 5 people nearest you.

If you do the same, but with a phone, junk punches from everyone!

**DemetriDominov**

I'm just going to buy one of those suits and hang out at the megamall's cinema nutpunching everyone. Not just the loud people. Everyone. Nobody should go to megamalls unless it's to play 10,000 vs 10,000 paintball.

**timetowaste85**

MrMerlin wrote:
Great idea! We need this in Germany too, lol. Some time ago, there was some giant douche-kid a few seats away from mine, and he thought he was some kind of narrator. He had seen the movie before and kept telling everyone what happened next.
After half an hour, everyone was shouting at him to shut the feth up. He didn't. RAGE!

Why did you not all kill the kid? Then just everyone say he choked on a nacho. Help was attempted, but ultimately, he expired. Jam a nacho in his trap if it helps. People who annoy the audience during a film need to meet an untimely death. Population control and all that.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Mannahnin wrote:
Monster Rain wrote:
Since I think that being disruptive during a movie, and many other similar types of anti-social behavior, should be capital crimes and punishable by death, I think this is a good start.

Insert Shepherd Book quote here, about the special hell reserved for child molesters, and people who talk in the theater.

One of the funniest lines from that show. I'm in favor of the molesters being molested by devils while being caught on fire, and people who talk in the theater should be molested in their eardrum by devils with barbed johnsons while being set on fire. Anyone disagree?

**Frazzled**

I don't talk on cellphones or make noise (except popcorn and trying to shush She Who Will Not Be Shushed). However touch me or the wife and I'll put holes in you faster than you can say "oh gak!"
Touch Genghis Connie or her friend(s) and I will EAT YOU.

**MrDwhitey**

How expected.

**kronk**

It's all fun and games until someone you don't know that doesn't have a badge lays their hands on you or your woman.

**MrDwhitey**

But then.. it might even be more fun and games.

**Frazzled**

kronk wrote:
It's all fun and games until someone you don't know that doesn't have a badge lays their hands on you or your woman.

Exactly. Plus the Wife is plumb mean. She'll call in team Wienie. A thousand wiener dogs nibbling you to death. Yikes!

**timetowaste85**

Frazz, you of all people I thought would be excited to kill somebody with a nacho. Think of the thousands of ways to do it and tell me you aren't excited. Scalding hot cheese burning their throat, a sharp chip through the eye or throat, superglueing a chip into their windpipe...bottom line is people shouldn't talk in theaters. Also, I think it's my bedtime.

**Frazzled**

timetowaste85 wrote:
Frazz, you of all people I thought would be excited to kill somebody with a nacho. Think of the thousands of ways to do it and tell me you aren't excited. Scalding hot cheese burning their throat, a sharp chip through the eye or throat, superglueing a chip into their windpipe...bottom line is people shouldn't talk in theaters. Also, I think it's my bedtime.

Nachos is for the eating!!! You use the empty container to take out errant phone users.

Alamo Drafthouse made a name in taking people out.

**Tibbsy**

Movie ninja...

This is possibly one of the greatest ideas ever.