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So, having almost finished a book I'm writing, (Not warhammer but I didn't see this forum specifying for only warhammer fiction) and I started to write a synopsis.

“From North, East, South and West, all will answer the call of Destruction. Only one amongst them lost and found can halt unholy slaughter. In armour forged from darkest depths a hero will emerge to fight those he swore to destroy. When reality tears and hope escapes, he who cheated death shall deliver us.”

The Prophecy of Destruction; revealed shortly after the titanic conflict that all but shattered the elven empire. It falls to the young Camerath to uncover its millennia old secrets and meaning, for it has been ordained that he is the one that the prophecy speaks. But traitor and foe lie in wait at every turn, and Camerath alone must save his people and usher in the new age. In such desperate times, the goal must justify the means.


What you think? Make you wanna read it?

C&C most welcome etc



EDIT: Also, if you want to read the first chapter, send me a pm! As when I put it up for sale on amazon or smashmouth the first chapter is what will be up for free reading so obviously I want criticism on that too


Von Chogg

sound promsising...

A synopsis is more of a short summary.
This is more of a blurb...
In any case i'll have a read of the first chapter. So PM sent.

“From North, East, South and West, all will answer the call of Destruction. Only one amongst them lost and found can halt unholy slaughter. In armour forged from darkest depths a hero will emerge to fight those he swore to destroy. When reality tears and hope escapes, he who cheated death shall deliver us.”

The Prophecy of Destruction; revealed shortly after the titanic conflict that all but shattered the elven empire. It falls to the young Camerath to uncover its millennia old secrets and meaning, for it has been ordained that he is the one that the prophecy speaks. But traitor and foe lie in wait at every turn, and Camerath alone must save his people and usher in the new age. In such desperate times, the goal must justify the means.

"Only one amongst them lost and found"

There should really be a comma after 'them', and after 'found'.

"In armour forged from darkest depths a hero will emerge to fight those he swore to destroy"

The first part doesn't make sense, how can armour be forged from darkest depths? "Forged 'in the' darkest depths" Would be far better, although I don't know if that would be true or not; if it isn't forged in them, then you need to think about what it is in the darkest depths that it is forged from, because, again, you can't forge anything "from darkest depths".

If you do change it to 'forged in the darkest depths', then a comma will be needed after 'depths'.

"The Prophecy of Destruction; revealed shortly after the titanic conflict that all but shattered the elven empire."

That should really be a paragraph of its own.

"...to uncover its millennia old secrets and meaning, for it has been ordained that he is the one that the prophecy speaks."

Since the other paragraph is on its own, it should be 'to uncover the prophecy's millenia-old' and 'meanings'. I say 'meanings' because I doubt that such a prophecy would have only a single meaning to everybody, even modern-day prophecies of "a storm is coming" doesn't mean that there will literally be a thunderstorm.

Also, has it been ordained? Or preordained? Has he only just been judged to be the one? Or have people known it before now?

The final part of this sentence also makes no sense. He should be 'the one of which the prophecy speaks'.

"In such desperate times, the goal must justify the means."

The phrase is 'the ends must justify the means', and I think it would fit better here than "the goal", mostly because people will recognise it and it won't look as out of place.

It could be a really specific prophecy...
You know that fortune teller that everyone wants who is really specific? Maybe he/she is in this book?

It doesn't sound very specific at all. Destruction, for example, could mean everything dies, plain and simple; it could also mean that old things are destroyed to make way for new life. Both are destruction, but to different ends. Also, fighting those he swore to destroy is quite vague; 'to fight' doesn't necessarily mean stabbing people or flinging sharp sticks at things. It could easily be a war of intellect, or even a particularly important game of tennis, where he fights to win each match and each set in order to win the game.

I doubt that the exact meaning is handily spelled out somewhere, and even if it is, would you want your readers to know that? "Oh, it's okay, all this conjecture for the first half of the book doesn't matter, they find the meaning scrawled on a banana in the next chapter."?

Maybe they paraphrased the prophecy to make it seem more dramatic?
I'd do that if i was gonna be the saviour/doom of the world.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

“From North, East, South and West, all will answer the call of Destruction. Only one amongst them lost and found can halt unholy slaughter. In armour forged from darkest depths a hero will emerge to fight those he swore to destroy. When reality tears and hope escapes, he who cheated death shall deliver us.”

The Prophecy of Destruction; revealed shortly after the titanic conflict that all but shattered the elven empire. It falls to the young Camerath to uncover its millennia old secrets and meaning, for it has been ordained that he is the one that the prophecy speaks. But traitor and foe lie in wait at every turn, and Camerath alone must save his people and usher in the new age. In such desperate times, the goal must justify the means.

"Only one amongst them lost and found"

There should really be a comma after 'them', and after 'found'.

"In armour forged from darkest depths a hero will emerge to fight those he swore to destroy"

The first part doesn't make sense, how can armour be forged from darkest depths? "Forged 'in the' darkest depths" Would be far better, although I don't know if that would be true or not; if it isn't forged in them, then you need to think about what it is in the darkest depths that it is forged from, because, again, you can't forge anything "from darkest depths".

If you do change it to 'forged in the darkest depths', then a comma will be needed after 'depths'.

"The Prophecy of Destruction; revealed shortly after the titanic conflict that all but shattered the elven empire."

That should really be a paragraph of its own.

"...to uncover its millennia old secrets and meaning, for it has been ordained that he is the one that the prophecy speaks."

Since the other paragraph is on its own, it should be 'to uncover the prophecy's millenia-old' and 'meanings'. I say 'meanings' because I doubt that such a prophecy would have only a single meaning to everybody, even modern-day prophecies of "a storm is coming" doesn't mean that there will literally be a thunderstorm.

Also, has it been ordained? Or preordained? Has he only just been judged to be the one? Or have people known it before now?

The final part of this sentence also makes no sense. He should be 'the one of which the prophecy speaks'.

"In such desperate times, the goal must justify the means."

The phrase is 'the ends must justify the means', and I think it would fit better here than "the goal", mostly because people will recognise it and it won't look as out of place.

“From North, East, South and West, all will answer the call of Destruction. Only one amongst them, lost and found, can halt unholy slaughter. In armour forged from darkest depths, a hero will emerge to fight those he swore to destroy. When reality tears and hope escapes, he who cheated death shall deliver us.”
-The Prophecy of Destruction; revealed shortly after the titanic conflict that all but shattered the elven empire.

It falls to the young Camerath to uncover the Prophecy's millennia-old secrets and meanings, for it has been ordained that he is the one that the prophecy speaks. But plans from ages past are already in motion, and he must be swift before destiny can take it's course. But traitor and foe lie in wait at every turn, and Camerath alone must save his people and usher in the new age. In such desperate times, the end must justify the means.


That better? And the first part is the prophecy, 'armour forged from darkest depths' is a metaphor type thing. Of course armour can't be forged from it, in a literal sense.

But thanks for the time you took to comment


Von Chogg

 Avatar 720 wrote:
It doesn't sound very specific at all. Destruction, for example, could mean everything dies, plain and simple; it could also mean that old things are destroyed to make way for new life. Both are destruction, but to different ends. Also, fighting those he swore to destroy is quite vague; 'to fight' doesn't necessarily mean stabbing people or flinging sharp sticks at things. It could easily be a war of intellect, or even a particularly important game of tennis, where he fights to win each match and each set in order to win the game.

I doubt that the exact meaning is handily spelled out somewhere, and even if it is, would you want your readers to know that? "Oh, it's okay, all this conjecture for the first half of the book doesn't matter, they find the meaning scrawled on a banana in the next chapter."?

the exact meaning isn't found out. That's kinda the point. If it was easy to decipher, there would be no problem. It's intentionally vague. It's been around for 1000 years and they don't' know what it is exactly yet.

It would ruin the book if i spelled it out in the central prophecy heh


Von Chogg

 Von Chogg wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
It doesn't sound very specific at all. Destruction, for example, could mean everything dies, plain and simple; it could also mean that old things are destroyed to make way for new life. Both are destruction, but to different ends. Also, fighting those he swore to destroy is quite vague; 'to fight' doesn't necessarily mean stabbing people or flinging sharp sticks at things. It could easily be a war of intellect, or even a particularly important game of tennis, where he fights to win each match and each set in order to win the game.

I doubt that the exact meaning is handily spelled out somewhere, and even if it is, would you want your readers to know that? "Oh, it's okay, all this conjecture for the first half of the book doesn't matter, they find the meaning scrawled on a banana in the next chapter."?

the exact meaning isn't found out. That's kinda the point. If it was easy to decipher, there would be no problem. It's intentionally vague. It's been around for 1000 years and they don't' know what it is exactly yet.

It would ruin the book if i spelled it out in the central prophecy heh


Von Chogg

I know that I was just telling Purple why I thought it wasn't a really specific prophecy.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

 Von Chogg wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
It doesn't sound very specific at all. Destruction, for example, could mean everything dies, plain and simple; it could also mean that old things are destroyed to make way for new life. Both are destruction, but to different ends. Also, fighting those he swore to destroy is quite vague; 'to fight' doesn't necessarily mean stabbing people or flinging sharp sticks at things. It could easily be a war of intellect, or even a particularly important game of tennis, where he fights to win each match and each set in order to win the game.

I doubt that the exact meaning is handily spelled out somewhere, and even if it is, would you want your readers to know that? "Oh, it's okay, all this conjecture for the first half of the book doesn't matter, they find the meaning scrawled on a banana in the next chapter."?

the exact meaning isn't found out. That's kinda the point. If it was easy to decipher, there would be no problem. It's intentionally vague. It's been around for 1000 years and they don't' know what it is exactly yet.

It would ruin the book if i spelled it out in the central prophecy heh


Von Chogg

I know that I was just telling Purple why I thought it wasn't a really specific prophecy.

Doh I actually thought you might be saying that while i was typing too.... I've not had my coffee, i blame that



Von Chogg

I'm a bit prophecy-mad at the moment. Finishing my second read-through of The Sword of Truth series (and The Omen Machine) by Terry Goodkind, so prophecy and prophetic theory is currently swimming around my mind.