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When I was little I accidentally revealed that "Santa" (not 30 feet away) was actually my grandpa in disguise. A few children heard me and crying ensued.

The worst thing I've ever said was as follows:

I was working with a black coworker of mine at the time. The conversation had made its way to racism after talking about the film Crash. I proceeded to explain the difference (at great length mind you) between n***** as its commonly accepted racist remark and it being used to refer to anyone (skin tone doesn't matter) who follow that particular stereotypical path. Needless to say, many days of awkwardness followed. Thankfully, I didn't get reported for contributing to a "hostile work environment" and he simply summerized that I was indeed just an idiot.

"OK, honey, if you really want to know how many other women I slept with...."

 labmouse42 wrote:
"OK, honey, if you really want to know how many other women I slept with...."

I just used to just say "Drew Barrymore".

OK, honey, if you really want to know how many other women I slept with...."

Make sure you include those that didn't know you slept with them and those that you did. The ones you pretend counts...

 Jihadin wrote:

OK, honey, if you really want to know how many other women I slept with...."

Make sure you include those that didn't know you slept with them and those that you did. The ones you pretend counts...

That's why I said Drew Barrymore...

Now... I'm saying Katie Upton... SHUT UP! ITS TRUE!

"I've been using hydrogen peroxide as mouth wash"
"Hmm. I'd try it, but I just can't get over the smell. It smells like foot cheese and puke"

Ah... I still feel bad.

 Samus_aran115 wrote:
"I've been using hydrogen peroxide as mouth wash"
"Hmm. I'd try it, but I just can't get over the smell. It smells like foot cheese and puke"

Ah... I still feel bad.

Took me a few to understand the implied insult .

Met a friend of a friend to watch fireworks several years ago. Didnt know anything about him or his wife. I said hello to them as I was smoking a cigarette. Guys wife says "You shouldnt smoke, its really bad for you". I said "Meh, were all gonna die sometime".

I found out a month later she was wearing a wig that day. From the chemo. I found that out the day I heard she had passed away.

 d3m01iti0n wrote:
Met a friend of a friend to watch fireworks several years ago. Didnt know anything about him or his wife. I said hello to them as I was smoking a cigarette. Guys wife says "You shouldnt smoke, its really bad for you". I said "Meh, were all gonna die sometime".

I found out a month later she was wearing a wig that day. From the chemo. I found that out the day I heard she had passed away.

well have you stopped smoking yet?

 Rimmy wrote:

 d3m01iti0n wrote:
Met a friend of a friend to watch fireworks several years ago. Didnt know anything about him or his wife. I said hello to them as I was smoking a cigarette. Guys wife says "You shouldnt smoke, its really bad for you". I said "Meh, were all gonna die sometime".

I found out a month later she was wearing a wig that day. From the chemo. I found that out the day I heard she had passed away.

well have you stopped smoking yet?

As a daily habit? Yeah for a while now. I typically smoke when I drink (once a week) and maybe have a couple at work. Ive gone off for months at a time. Am I saying its okay? Nope. Just explaining the frequency of the habit.

 d3m01iti0n wrote:

 Rimmy wrote:

 d3m01iti0n wrote:
Met a friend of a friend to watch fireworks several years ago. Didnt know anything about him or his wife. I said hello to them as I was smoking a cigarette. Guys wife says "You shouldnt smoke, its really bad for you". I said "Meh, were all gonna die sometime".

I found out a month later she was wearing a wig that day. From the chemo. I found that out the day I heard she had passed away.

well have you stopped smoking yet?

As a daily habit? Yeah for a while now. I typically smoke when I drink (once a week) and maybe have a couple at work. Ive gone off for months at a time. Am I saying its okay? Nope. Just explaining the frequency of the habit.

well that snarky comment wasn't really an attempt to put you down, really more of a follow up "how did that effect you" type thing.

I'm happy you've cut back. its a bad habit kills many (including family of mine).

I (with a few friends) started spreading a rumor that a certain teacher was pregnant and it turned out she was infertile. Separate: One teacher had been gone for a week and some change then came back and everyone was asking if she was on vacation. One student popped off "she could have been having a miscarriage!" and the teacher immediately crumpled to the floor and began sobbing. Real hero that one.

Back when i was younger and my friends were mainly left wing types, i used to think it was amusing to go on anti-jew tirades.

One day i was in the middle of one when my mate who i'd known for 5 years piped up "Both my grandparents died in auschwitz", needless to say silence reigned.

However my sensitive younger self recovered fairly quickly and by the next week i was calling him Hymie (his name was simon) after the jewish character in the power of one. I still call him hymie to this day