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The game is simple: Take any online service that you use frequently -- suggested products, custom ad services, mail filters, bank accounts, whatever -- and mentally subtract the context that only you would know. What would a total stranger, looking at those same results, assume about the

person they're based on (Inspired by this article http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-to-tell-if-youre-creepy-using-internet/)? I'll start off with my eBay account keeps recommending women's clothes and barbie dolls, YouTube used to post ads for hot single women (usually Christian,

punk or nerd themed dating sites) and when I typed my name in Google images on the first page I got pictures of hockey players, Satan himself (or someone in a cheesy Halloween costume of Satan), a pudgy nerd doing a photo shoot in a baseball uniform, lots of photo of random people

(pretty much every race, gender, and age imaginable but no one looked pretty), John Wayne "Riders of Destiny" poster and this...



So yeah I suppose the strangers discovering me on the internet must think I'm a single lonely male who dresses in women's clothes and has really specific tastes in women (nerdy Christan punks). According to the internet I like playing with barbie dolls, love watching hockey, am a Satanist,

like westerns, can change my gender, race and age at will so long as it's an ugly or average looking person (I'm a shape-shifter!), I like cutting mannequin's heads off and duct taping there mouths and was most likely a fat geek who was a bench-warmer for my high school baseball team in

my former years. Unfortunately the internet was only correct on about 5% of those things (I'll let you figure out which of it the internet got right ).

According to the internet I won the Euromillions Lottery, bought a Porsche and then crashed a Porsche...

I have learned that some twink has stolen my Dakka handle on twitter, and he doesn't have any friends. And that my first name is not the Fething snowflake my parents thought it was. A majority of the images are from Dakka though. Then a few pages in there's loads of gay porn. I comfort myself by noting the search tag for those is "AustonY" and it's just a close match. Oh and there's this:

It thinks this should be my new avatar....

 Easy E wrote:
It thinks this should be my new avatar....

Dat trigger discipline.

I don't know. I'm overhthinking this. They would probably think I was "into anime", or something neurotypical like that. I have other hobbies, but they're extensions of my wobean hobbies. If someone who knows what they're talking about stumbled upon my information, they would probably think I was a neophyte.

So according to ebay I love electronics, specifically games, and jewelry. So I am out to accessorize when I am shooting up baddies. The internet also recommends that I network with my dead grandfather on various social networks, am a type of screw, have a Steam account (Guess what the name is ), once gave a speech to visiting students at my alma mater, and am probably a functioning alcoholic. Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em I always say!

I'm food!

I've been the Canadian Prime minster apparently. There is almost literally nothing about the real me on the internet though. All there is is my name on my professional bodies website.

Oh guys when doing you search results on say Google images you're supposed to use your real names, not your DakkaDakka names otherwise I would be getting this instead.








And my arch nemesis "Milk-Dog"...

Oh wow, that dog looks miserable. Chihuahuas usually look like insufferable overgrown mutant rats, but that one looks particularly upset.

That I really love minecraft...

That I'm looking for single Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Russian brides, Japanese girls, all the while craving a larger penis... I got to stop with the interracial porn searches.

Also my first ever online avatar!

This thread has potential for great awesomeness.

I'm not too sure what Google thinks of me....

Google Image Search:

Ha ha. The middle one is mine.

 azazel the cat wrote:
This thread has potential for great awesomeness.

I'm not too sure what Google thinks of me....

Google Image Search:

Spoiler:

You like tying people up and you escape via jet pack.

Hmmmm, I wonder if you put something about yourself that you ripped from Google onto Dakka, which is itself going to appear on Google, does this create a perpetual infinity loop that could eventually create a rip in the fabric of space time. Thereby creating the Eye of Terrorbytes, and creating a new god of Chaos.

"All shall tremble before him, for he knows all and remembers all. He is the Internet, and all shall pour their souls into him"

Cheesecat wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
This thread has potential for great awesomeness.

I'm not too sure what Google thinks of me....

Google Image Search:

Spoiler:

You like tying people up and you escape via jet pack.

Then what about the, uh, seductive Spiderman...?


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Grey Templar wrote:Hmmmm, I wonder if you put something about yourself that you ripped from Google onto Dakka, which is itself going to appear on Google, does this create a perpetual infinity loop that could eventually create a rip in the fabric of space time. Thereby creating the Eye of Terrorbytes, and creating a new god of Chaos.

"All shall tremble before him, for he knows all and remembers all. He is the Internet, and all shall pour their souls into him"

If so, then I hope it's that Spiderman that does it.

Do you not remember that thread Azazel?

You guys aren't really grasping the concept... It's not about what your username is synonymous with, it's about what your actual real life purchasing habits and things that are generally kept as a log of your behavior... Examples:
Ebay
Amazon
Netflix
Forum Posts
Mediafire downloads
Last.fm
Itunes purchases
Possibly browsing history

If someone looked at all of this as a whole, what would be their assumption of you? I think as far as the thread is concerned, they have no idea how old you are, where you live, what you look like, and other people you're in contact with.

Am I getting this right, cheese?

 Captain Fantastic wrote:
Am I getting this right, cheese?

Yep.

Actually, that looks like Spiderwomen. Unless Spiderman has suddenly grown a pair of nice sized knockers.

AustonT wrote:Do you not remember that thread Azazel?

Ya know, I honestly don't.

SO MUCH PORN.

 ENOZONE wrote:
SO MUCH PORN.

Indeed, Internet shall be a wierd fusion of Slannesh, Tzeentch, and Memes.

"Memes for the Meme God! Virus's for the Virus Throne!"

Yeah, sadly that's surprisingly true even though the internet really mostly thinks I'm in desperate need of a handbag and twixt. Why? Not a clue.

The internet somehow decided my mom was pregnant and started sending her baby magazines. She had ovarian cancer 25 years ago and doesn't have functioning ovaries anymore

When I first searched myself on Google, it said that I wrote a newspaper article discussing the merits of condoms. I have no idea what those even are...they're individually wrapped balloons that they give out in college, right?

Apparently I look like this

no, its not me

if I type in my username google keeps correcting me to not a sheep.

I rarely ever use it, but Facebook seems to want to tell me about Federal Pardons: erase your criminal record (?!) and sell me some Bombay Saphire Gin.

As I have never been convicted of any offense, nor do I drink alcohol, I think this is just one more reason that Facebook just isn't for me.

I used to get ads for Christian singles and what have you, then I got Ad Block+ and my life suddenly became a paradise.

When I google myself I get results for an apparently popular folk band. Their bassist shares my name. There's also a doctor's practice, some stuff from meetup.org and an article I wrote on historic first person shooters for a gaming website (summary of article: Stop doing world war two already for the love of the goddess and publish Six Days in Fallujah)

I try to keep my internet foot print limited, but these days that seems to be getting harder and harder.