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 Flinty wrote:
A sealed house, a dozen or so "celebrities", an assortment of hidden assault weapons and the viewers vote on who is next into the Xenomorph chamber

Hmmm... I wonder if Ant and Dec are looking for work just now...

When the term 'Eliminated' from the game is more than appropriate term.

I could quite easily see them showing public executions and cases of redemption..


"Hello Kids are we having a good time?... Good... today were going to learn about the number 7, and the letter E, and Self Flaggellation to show your devotion to the God Emperor!'

Entertainment consists mainly of watching suspected heretics being burned alive for crimes such not shouting your devotions to the emp loud enough, its recommended that you bring you kids so they can roast marshmallows over the burning heretic, failure to do so is admission of heresy.

In the far grim future there is no entertainment! ONLY GRIMDARK

It bears noting that, even on Hive worlds, the cost of a television-like device is prohibitive, and most residents would be unable to afford them, even if they spend 87% of the day working in a factory that constructs them. Entertainments are generally visiting a tap-cafe, a tavern, maybe a street musician or, on rare, special days, visiting one of the Hive's bio-domes, where plants are kept in order to provide oxygen to the Hive.

Also, because most of the people in a Hive are poor, often desperately so, they probably spend most of their free time engaging in the activity that poor humans have engaged in since the dawn of time...

 Arcsquad12 wrote:
Gaunt's Ghosts films. Played by Sean Bean.

So Sharpe in space? That would be fething awesome!!

"Smile, you're on Candid Servo-Skull!"

I bet 'songs of praise' is still going on in 40k time.

How about 'Bolgun P.I'
Desperate houscarls
CSI Terra
Chaos Idol
Time Team - still on, but it's just digging up stuff we've got now...

I love this thread

A Jersey Shore-equivalent featuring Ogryns procreating and ingesting copious amounts of amasec.

 d3m01iti0n wrote:
A Jersey Shore-equivalent featuring Ogryns procreating and ingesting copious amounts of amasec.

So, just Jersey Shore?

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 d3m01iti0n wrote:
A Jersey Shore-equivalent featuring Ogryns procreating and ingesting copious amounts of amasec.

So, just Jersey Shore?

HURRRRRRRRRR ME LIKE

The Administratum - 40K version of The Office. The characters are all low ranking clerks who sit for 12 hours a day with earpieces plugged in entering meaningless figures into cogitators for reasons long forgotten, for the attention of departments thousands of light years away that haven't existed for centuries (due to the time-distorting effects of warp travel the memo has not yet arrived). At the end of each day everyone files back to their hab-blockss bitter and unfulfilled. They're on their 10,192nd season.

In fact, let's have...grimdark TV listings!

----------------------------------------

NOTICE TO ALL CITIZENS: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAMMING SCHEDULE HAS BEEN CAREFULLY FORMULATED TO PROVIDE MAXIMUM ENTERTAINMENT AND EDUCATION TO CITIZENS. THE AUTHORITIES RESERVE THE RIGHT TO MONITOR ANY AND ALL VIEWING HABITS AND TO SUSPEND ANY AND ALL PROGRAMMING FOR ANY REASON WITHOUT NOTICE.

5:00 AM - WAKE UP CALL
10 minutes of strident martial music kept carefully below the volume that will cause physical pain in the average human - perfect to start your day!

NOTICE TO ALL CITIZENS: THERE WILL BE NO BROADCASTS BETWEEN THIS TIME AND 5:00 PM. THESE ARE THE HOURS OF TOIL, WHEN LOYAL CITIZENS MUST DEVOTE THEMSELVES TO THEIR TASKS SO THE ARMIES OF THE THRONE OF TERRA MIGHT WAGE THEIR CAMPAIGNS OF GLORY. THERE WILL BE NO PROGRAMMING FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT OF LAYABOUTS AND SHIRKERS DURING THESE HOURS.

5:00 PM - DAILY NEWS
At this time citizens are permitted to be enlightened regarding the glorious victories and cultural achievements of the Imperium. Note that during this broadcast citizens may be randomly monitored in order to check for appropriate levels of patriotism and enthusiasm.

6:00 PM - THE X(ENOS) FACTOR
The hopeful candidates continue their quest to be selected as Interrogators for a famous Inquisitor of the Ordo Xenos. This week they are cast adrift in the Ork-held Doomius Certainum system - anyone who gets back alive is through to the next round! When they get back to the studio the followers of the Radical Inquisitor are in for a surprise - he's been caught using artifacts granted to him by alien interlopers and driven out of Imperial space on pain of death!

8:00 PM - THE IMPERIUM'S WILDEST ARBITES VIDEOS
Amusing pict-captured footage of bungling evildoers involved in crimes against the Imperium that go hilariously wrong! Highlights include protestors who arrogantly requested less stringent working hours having their skulls cracked by the heavily-armed enforcers of Imperial Law and a treacherous planetary governor being ripped limb from limb when he fails to pay his Blood Axe Ork allies on time!

9:00 PM - THE ADMINISTRATUM
Office-based comedy specifcially tailored to provide amusement to and channel the frustration of those who labour in the chambers of the Administratum. This week, the scriveners worry that a typo may have accidentally diverted several regiments of Imperial Guard into the path of Hive Fleet Kraken and the IT guy comes snooping around looking for a suitable donor when the data-parsing servitor needs a cerebral upgrade. Meanwhile, their boss, the bumbling Over-Scrivener Brent, is shown rightful obeisance by the wretched serfs who toil in his halls.

9:30 PM - KEEPING UP WITH THE COURTIERS
Reality series in which the pict-recorders of the Hive Broadcasting Authority are allowed within the Governor's Tower to provide the mob with a glimpse of life among the rulers of the city. This week we see the nobility involved in charitable work (flinging stale crusts left over from last week's banquet from their armoured limousine into a disgruntled mob, without slowing down).

10:30 PM - AT THIS HOUR BROADCASTS SHALL CEASE, FOR ADEQUATE REST IS ESSENTIAL FOR THE LABOURERS WHO KEEP THE WHEELS OF THE IMPERIUM TURNING.

Of course, there are no listings for the Chaos channels.

Dear Imperial Bureau of Entertainment,
Having recently read the television listings, I feel compelled to write to you regarding a lack of daytime television.

I admit, after teletubbies was proven to be a chaos inspired sedition cult it was probably going to go off the air, especially becuase they were being watched over by a giant demonic flying baby, which is an awful comparison to our god emperor.
Tinky Winky - Slaanesh
Dipsy - Nurgle
Laa laa - Tzeentch
Why was Po red? because he was covered in the blood of his enemies!...BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

However I do feel this should be seen as an educational tool. We should know our enemies.

I also believe our esteemed inquisitors should look towards a man named 'Jeremy Kyle' for inspiration. He was a 20th century man who could solve any problem by being both utterly unfailing in his belief that he was right and shouting louder than anyone else

Also, Loose women should be re-instated as it keeps the morale of the populace on an even keel. Men watch this and think 'at least I'm not married to one of them' and suddenly, a 20 hour day with no breaks doesn't seem so bad. It also inspires people to find job's, so they aren't home during the day's allocated 'loose women' time.

Yours concernedly,
An Imperial Citizen

Ultimate survivor featuring guardsmen marbo?

Cooking with Marbo for the loyalists.

Cooking with Typhus for those who are tired of life.

Dr.Bile, an equivalent for Dr.House.

UBBL- Unviersal blood bowl league.

the history channel documenting all of what we are doing right now on dakka dakka.

That whole "What do you think, Linda?" scene from the 1960's version of Fahrenheit 451.