Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Greetings Dakka...

I was idly surfing the Interwebz, looking for see-through mobile phones as it happens, when I came across this little beauty. Uh-Huh......

From beforeitnews.com.

[i]World news media have been widely reporting that Queen Elizabeth II has been hospitalized with “gastroenteritis” but MI5 sources are saying the Queen is not ill and that the story was put out so that she could cancel a trip to Rome where there was a real murder plot against her. The MI5 source says that Peter Hans Kolvenbach, the former “black pope,” or head of the Jesuits, who already got rid of the Pope, was plotting to get rid of the Queen during her Rome visit as a part of his plan to create a “one world religion.” Kolvenbach is now hiding in Lebanon where he has been helping orchestrate the ongoing Muslim brotherhood led “revolutions,” in the Middle East. He is expected to be captured and taken in for questioning soon.

Kolvenbach has been previously recording bragging on the phone that he was the mastermind behind the 311 nuclear and tsunami terror attack against Japan, according to CIA and MI5 sources. He has also been recorded threatening to poison Adolfo Nicolas, the current Superior General of the Society of Jesus, the same sources say. Nicolas and the Queen are both cooperating with Asian groups and the White Dragon Society to push for a massive campaign to end poverty and stop environmental destruction.

In any case, if it turns out Queen Elizabeth II follows Queen Beatrix of Holland and the Pope out of office, then the next in line for removal will be
US President Obama, according to the gnostic illuminati faction. The gnostic illuminati claim to have started the French, American and Russian revolutions and are now pushing to free Europe and the US from cabalist bloodline rule, according to one of their “grand-masters.” According to the original, and now unraveling, plot to create a “New World Order,” Barak Obama was supposed to be the leader of a world government that would oversee the merging of Islam and Christianity into a one world religion.
However, instead of presiding over the birth of a fascist world government, Obama has been presiding over the bankruptcy of the United States of America.

The cabalists in control of the Washington D.C. corporate government, however, are still trying to cling stubbornly to the old plot. US Secretary of State John Kerry, who is part of the Vatican led homosexual Skull and Bones secret society, visited the Middle East last week in a fruitless attempt to get the New World Order agenda back on track.

However, a global financial and economic boycott against the D.C. cabal has meant the US cannot even afford to keep much of its fleet of aircraft carriers afloat which is why the pentagon announced, while Kerry was in the Middle East, that one of the two aircraft carriers in the Persian Gulf would be removed due to budget cuts.

In any case, only the most truly brainwashed idiots can still believe the cabalist claims, ones they have been making constantly for over 20 years (since 1992) that “Iran was months away from making a nuclear bomb and so we need to start World War 3.”
A senior member of the Vatican P2 fascist freemason lodge warned the P2 was “joining with the cabalists” in a battle to maintain the status quo adding that they are “desperate and so ready to use every option.”

Given their past penchant for carrying out genocide and mass murder to achieve political objectives (eg Hitler, Stalin, 911, 311) they may be plotting to blow up Rome in an attempt to blame it on, and thus discredit, peace loving anti-terrorist groups like the White Dragon Society.
The cabalists have also been using an agent by the name of Adnan Sacly to claim inheritance rights to historical Asian treasure that was used to found the cabal front known as the BIS. Sacly falsely claims to have inherited these rights from Madame Chiang Kai Shek who was an heiress to the fabulous Sung dynasty treasure, according to the CIA.

In any case, the cabalists are facing the very real threat of revolution in Europe. The Italian election has resulted in a hung parliament with the 20-40 age group internet generation voting en masse for the anti-establishment 5 Star movement. This party is calling for a debt renegotiation and a return to the Lire. If there is a re-election, they are expected to win and the result would be the end of the Euro and a subsequent collapse of the German financial system (since they are Italy’s biggest creditor).

In the UK as well, the anti-EU Independence Party won a bi-election only to have it stolen by means of a “huge postal vote,” according to and MI5 official. It is now expected that the UK will head into a general election in May that will result in an anti-EU coalition taking power, the official says.

Signs like these, together with the horrific economic data emerging in the West, make it clear both the EU and the US are visibly falling into bankruptcy. Reality is something that no amount of cabal propaganda can cover up forever, it has a way of catching up and prevailing.
In Asia, meanwhile, the new Chinese regime formally took the reins of power this week and is eager to show its mettle. What they must first prove is whether they are mice or men. If they are mice, they will be manipulated by the cabal into a war with Japan that will hurt both China and Japan as well as destroy Asian unity. If they are men, they will completely revamp the world architecture of power away from an inbred European elite and into the hands of the people of the world. In specific, that means totally overhauling the UN (they can start by moving its headquarters to Asia), the BIS, the World Bank, the IMF, NATO etc.

The Asian Secret Societies made a sacred promise that if Asia was once again placed at the center of world power, they would end poverty and stop environmental destruction. The heavy pollution choking China and the accelerating destruction of the global ecology mean they are not keeping their sacred promise to the creator. If they fail to keep this promise, the mandate of heaven will be taken away.[/i]

I'm sorry, what?
What do you guy's reckon then, off the rails, bat-gak crazy or just possibly the biggest news of the year of the year so far?

There is not enough tinfoil in the world sufficient for this fella

Total bollocks, but an amusing read nontheless

HAHA its about as well written as the devinci code

This entire conspiracy seems to rest on the belief that the greatest threats to Catholicism are Anglicans.

So unless it became the late middle ages and I just didn't notice, I'm gonna go ahead and call this one as "flying rodent gak crazy"

I'm disappointed -
no mention of David Icke or his space lizard rulers.
No mention of barium planes.
Those are my two favourite theories at the moment.

This guy definitely gets massive points for effort though.

I know, it's really quite brilliant....

I strongly suggest you check out the website www.beforeitsnews.com

If your stuck at work this will keep you amused for hours.

It's really weird how these conspiracy theories get caught up in figurehead positions like the Pope and the Queen and these imaginary little games they all play amongst themselves. It kind of reminds me of the Bold and the Beautiful*, there's this strange little melodrama with all these people talking about little schemes and no-one ever actually running the damn company.





*Don't judge me, my wife watches it to mock it. Alright, you can mock me for marrying someone that watches it though, that seems fair.

I am now considering sending this guy a giant tinfoil hat. I have to say that this was incredibly amusing and i definetly needed it.

I know your pain, Sebster.

Wife also watches it - she used to watch its other show - the young and the restless (B&B spun off from it) but it got shifted to digital netherworlds before we could pick it up and now she's 2 years behind it, so doesn't bother).

Conspiracy theories like this make me scratch my head.

I just don't want these people to breed.

I love how these people can't even keep themselvs from getting things back to front and upside down.

note the belt buckle on the nurse......

Oh god! Your right! She must be part of the conspiracy!

Or be a normal nurse who trained at the Royal Masonic Hospital.

I got three paragraphs in before my brain cells threatened to revolt

I don't know about the belt, but she looks like she wants to throw the Queen out on her ear, or she just spotted a piece of hospital wear tangled in her majesty's hair.

Steve steveson wrote:
Oh god! Your right! She must be part of the conspiracy!

Or be a normal nurse who trained at the Royal Masonic Hospital.

... I'm amazed no one phoned to ask how......

... ohh...

Steve steveson wrote:
Oh god! Your right! She must be part of the conspiracy!

Or be a normal nurse who trained at the Royal Masonic Hospital.

Masonic Hospital!??!?!?

But according to David Icke, the masons are aliens/gods/other worldy beings/reptiles - they are possessed by 'special vibrations' during initiation...so there is no such thing as a 'normal' nurse from a masonic hospital...

PredaKhaine wrote:
Masonic Hospital!??!?!?

But according to David Icke, the masons are aliens/gods/other worldy beings/reptiles - they are possessed by 'special vibrations' during initiation...so there is no such thing as a 'normal' nurse from a masonic hospital...

Are those "special vibrations" different to The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations"?

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

PredaKhaine wrote:
Masonic Hospital!??!?!?

But according to David Icke, the masons are aliens/gods/other worldy beings/reptiles - they are possessed by 'special vibrations' during initiation...so there is no such thing as a 'normal' nurse from a masonic hospital...

Are those "special vibrations" different to The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations"?

That must mean the beach boys are in on it too!

I couldn't read past "Black Pope". My mind drifted to Black Dynamite, and I started to image a cool cross-over movie starring Black Dynamite vs. the Black Pope.

Why not, Black Dynamite already took on Nixon in a Numbchuck fight right.

PredaKhaine wrote:
That must mean the beach boys are in on it too!

PredaKhaine wrote:
Masonic Hospital!??!?!?

My grand dad was pretty high up in our state chapter of the free masons. They built parks for needy kids and ran soup kitchens.

Maybe there was once some kind of conspiracy of power to the masons, but stuff changes. New groups make loads of money, and transfer that money into political power. Other groups form new political parties based on new ideas and become politically powerful.

Old power blocks wither, and become irrelevant. Some become embrace political irrelevance and start doing charitable works.

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

PredaKhaine wrote:
That must mean the beach boys are in on it too!

I couldn't bring myself to get past the first couple of sentences about the black pope in the OP, but was glad I scrolled down. The Carry On shows always were some of my favorites.

 sebster wrote:

PredaKhaine wrote:
Masonic Hospital!??!?!?

My grand dad was pretty high up in our state chapter of the free masons. They built parks for needy kids and ran soup kitchens.

Maybe there was once some kind of conspiracy of power to the masons, but stuff changes. New groups make loads of money, and transfer that money into political power. Other groups form new political parties based on new ideas and become politically powerful.

Old power blocks wither, and become irrelevant. Some become embrace political irrelevance and start doing charitable works.

Have you heard of this guy?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Icke

I got made to sit through a 2 hour documentary he'd made. I'm not complaining about the masons (wife's grandad was one), I'm just not missing the opportunity to ridicule David Icke. I'm not getting my two hours back.

This is the kind of stuff he comes out with.
Key Ideas
Icke combines discussions about the nature of the universe and consciousness with conspiracy theories about public figures being satanic paedophiles, and how apparently unconnected events are in fact attempts to control humanity. He argued in The Biggest Secret that human beings originated in a breeding program run by a race of reptilians called Anunnaki from the Draco constellation, and that what we call reality is just a holographic experience; the only reality is the realm of the Absolute. He believes in a collective consciousness that has intentionality; in reincarnation; in other possible worlds that exist alongside ours on other frequencies; and in acquired characteristics, arguing that our experiences change our DNA by downloading new information and overwriting the software. We are also able to attract experiences to ourselves by means of good and bad thoughts.[39]

Icke introduced the reptoid hypothesis in The Biggest Secret (1999), which identified the Brotherhood as descendants of reptilians from the constellation Draco, who walk on two legs and appear human, and who live in tunnels and caverns inside the earth. He argues that the reptilians are the race of gods known as the Anunnaki in the Babylonian creation myth, Enûma Eliš.[42] According to Barkun, Icke's idea of "inner-earth reptilians" is not new, though he has done more than most to expand it.[43]

In Children of the Matrix (2001), he added that the Anunnaki bred with another extraterrestrial race called the "Nordics," who had blond hair and blue eyes, to produce a race of human slave masters, the Aryans. The Aryans retain many reptilian traits, including cold-blooded attitudes, a desire for top-down control, and an obsession with ritual, lending them a tendency toward fascism, rationalism, and racism. Lewis and Kahn write that, with the Nordic hypothesis, Icke is mirroring standard claims by the far right that the Aryan bloodline has ruled the Earth throughout history.[49]

In Infinite Love is the Only Truth (2005), Icke introduces the idea of "reptilian software." He says that there are three kinds of people. The highest level of the Brotherhood are the "Red Dresses." These are "software people," elsewhere called "reptilian software," or "constructs of mind." They lack consciousness and free will, and their human bodies are holographic veils.[54]

Whoever wrote this REALLY likes the Asia for some reason... I guess this was just written in the heat of the moment.

This isn't quite on the same level of tinfoil hat but it popped up on my facebook feed.

Peter Hans Kolvenbach was actually a Superior General of the Society of Jesus, also known as the Jesuits. He stepped down from the position on his 80th birthday some years ago. He was replaced by Adolfo Nicolás. The term "Black Pope" is a real one, never used within the Jesuits or the Catholic Church to describe the Superior General, it's a derogatory jab at the Superior General's plain black priest's cossack compared to the Pope's primarily white finery.

For some more rich insanity check out this interview: http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/blackpope.htm

 Corpsesarefun wrote:
Whoever wrote this REALLY likes the Asia for some reason... I guess this was just written in the heat of the moment.

This isn't quite on the same level of tinfoil hat but it popped up on my facebook feed.

Not technically impossible but still WTF!?!?

Relapse wrote:
I couldn't bring myself to get past the first couple of sentences about the black pope in the OP, but was glad I scrolled down. The Carry On shows always were some of my favorites.

Happy to help Conspiracy theory threads only interest me for the comments - either the ones mocking the theory, or the bat gak crazy ones that support it or try to out do it

PredaKhaine wrote:
He believes in a collective consciousness that has intentionality; in reincarnation; in other possible worlds that exist alongside ours on other frequencies; and in acquired characteristics, arguing that our experiences change our DNA by downloading new information and overwriting the software. We are also able to attract experiences to ourselves by means of good and bad thoughts.

Didn't he get in trouble a few years back for saying that someone in a wheelchair was being punished for wrong done in a previous life?

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
I couldn't bring myself to get past the first couple of sentences about the black pope in the OP, but was glad I scrolled down. The Carry On shows always were some of my favorites.

Happy to help Conspiracy theory threads only interest me for the comments - either the ones mocking the theory, or the bat gak crazy ones that support it or try to out do it

PredaKhaine wrote:
He believes in a collective consciousness that has intentionality; in reincarnation; in other possible worlds that exist alongside ours on other frequencies; and in acquired characteristics, arguing that our experiences change our DNA by downloading new information and overwriting the software. We are also able to attract experiences to ourselves by means of good and bad thoughts.

Didn't he get in trouble a few years back for saying that someone in a wheelchair was being punished for wrong done in a previous life?

lol - no, that was our england football manager - Glenn Hoddle. He also famously brought in a faith healer for our football team too. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Hoddle

Glenn Hoddle wrote:
"My beliefs have evolved in the last eight or nine years, that the spirit has to come back again, that is nothing new, that has been around for thousands of years. You have to come back to learn and face some of the things you have done, good and bad. There are too many injustices around."
"You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half-decent brains. Some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. I have nothing to hide about that. It is not only people with disabilities. What you sow, you have to reap."
"You have to look at things that happened in your life and ask why. It comes around."

David Icke was a goalkeeper, who possibly took too many footballs to the head.

Thank you, I couldn't remember who it was

You're welcome
It does seem like football and philosophy shouldn't really go together though.