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America, has cities disguised as European, citizens are only allowed one coffee per day, and Americans, as you sit inside your cozy homes, you don't realize the truth! You are homeless, murdering, homosexuals!
Hmm, Yakfaces Fascist NWO or KIm Jong-un's truth? it's hard to know which way to turn these days..............
But, seriously:
Spoiler:
Living in tents. Drinking coffee made from snow. This is your life in America, filtered through the incisive prism of North Korean propaganda.
The world’s most militarized society is shaking its head over what it describes as an epidemic of Americans “buying guns to kill each other, especially children.” What’s purportedly North Korea’s latest propaganda video — released this week and packed with stock footage that would impress Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim — brings trolling to the next level.
Fun facts about America, according to the video: there are no more birds in the U.S., as they’ve all been eaten by the starving masses. American houses “blow down very easily,” leaving the American Red Cross to supply emergency housing only thanks to humanitarian aid (including tasty cakes) from Pyongyang. Other parts of America are “often disguised as foreign countries in Europe.” (Just go with it.) Most Americans are entitled to a single cup of coffee daily, made from snow. This what Dennis Rodman is telling new bro Kim Jong-un?
“They this is how they live in modern-day America: huddled together,” says the video, showing a supposed American homeless shelter of spartan metal bunk beds, “the poor, the cold, the lonely, and the homosexual.” Presumably, these are heavily armed poor, cold, lonely homosexuals, ready to kill children.
As with much great trolling, North Korea is taking some of its great weaknesses — the grinding poverty, food shortages and official bellicosity — and projecting them onto its adversary. The low-budget production values and occasional cinematic inaccuracies (that pay phone in the subway doesn’t look like an American model) give the effort a certain inadvertent flourish.
You certainly wouldn’t know from the video that North Korea’s threatened its southerly neighbor with nuclear annihilation after unilaterally withdrawing from the armistice that has kept a fragile peace on the Korean peninsula for over half a century. Recent successes in its missile tests and nuclear detonations, mixed with a new young leader and tougher international economic sanctions appear to have prompted a surge in Pyongyang threats.
The North has done nothing so far, short of releasing videos portraying its soldiers’ Beatlemania-esque love for Kim and threatening an annual U.S.-South Korean military exercise. The Navy says its routine presence on and near the peninsula — destroyers, anti-ballistic missile cruisers and the aircraft carrier USS George Washington — is on watch, and thus far has no plans to augment it.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/03/13 15:32:26
Well, whenever you control almost all the information your people get who can fact check you? Especially as to do so would probably cut your life very short.
Oh my god! This makes me so happy inside! *cuddles*
There are some points though the video makes.
Most Republican party politicians are indeed grizzled, uneducated hobos and, when I last checked, gun ownership and homosexual rates in the US were both indeed at a steady 100%.
I've had American snow coffee and it sucks. You guys really don't know how to make stuff with snow. Up here in Canada, where we all live in igloos, we make sure when we use snow we make our roofs without holes in them. But if you want some real snow coffee, ice caps from Tim Horton's are the best.
And seriously, when was the last time you encountered a working payphone?
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/03/13 16:22:39
When was the last time you met someone under thirty who knows what a payphone is?
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Ya know what the really fethed up part is? The NK propaganda film's depiction of American squalor and hardships are still more appealing than most of the actual North Korean living conditions.
azazel the cat wrote: Ya know what the really fethed up part is? The NK propaganda film's depiction of American squalor and hardships are still more appealing than most of the actual North Korean living conditions.
HA! I literally just said this same sentence outloud before reading your post.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
-- Fifty-Four -- Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty eight to bill for professional services.
Sigvatr wrote: I'm pretty sure they still tell North Koreans that Hitler is alive and has a huge lazer-shooting robo-dinosaur army.
I'll tell you some things people in the "Democratic" People's "Republic" of Korea are told
1: When Kim il Sung died, all the swallows in the country bowed their heads in respect
2: Millions of people around the world adopted Kim Jong il's style of dress upon seeing pictures of him
3: America is trying to conquer the whole planet
4: The great 90's famine (as many as 3 million starved to death) wasn't that bad. It was caused by people neglecting their work on farming, which is a perfect system.
5: Kim il Sung has three types of greatness (ideology, aura and personality IIRC) and they teach this to school children, make them memorize it. They put it on a chart so they can learn it better.
6: Kim Jong il was born in a snowy mountain cabin during the Korean War. Soldiers standing nearby were overcome with a heavenly feeling that something great had happened and carved a message on a nearby tree.
7: Kim il Sung personally introduced Koreans to many different technologies/tools including the desks in their classrooms.
8: The only thing preventing reunification is the United States.
azazel the cat wrote: Ya know what the really fethed up part is? The NK propaganda film's depiction of American squalor and hardships are still more appealing than most of the actual North Korean living conditions.
Exalted and quoted for truth.
I beg of you sarge let me lead the charge when the battle lines are drawn
Lemme at least leave a good hoof beat they'll remember loud and long
Sigvatr wrote: I'm pretty sure they still tell North Koreans that Hitler is alive and has a huge lazer-shooting robo-dinosaur army.
I'll tell you some things people in the "Democratic" People's "Republic" of Korea are told
1: When Kim il Sung died, all the swallows in the country bowed their heads in respect
2: Millions of people around the world adopted Kim Jong il's style of dress upon seeing pictures of him
3: America is trying to conquer the whole planet
4: The great 90's famine (as many as 3 million starved to death) wasn't that bad. It was caused by people neglecting their work on farming, which is a perfect system.
5: Kim il Sung has three types of greatness (ideology, aura and personality IIRC) and they teach this to school children, make them memorize it. They put it on a chart so they can learn it better.
6: Kim Jong il was born in a snowy mountain cabin during the Korean War. Soldiers standing nearby were overcome with a heavenly feeling that something great had happened and carved a message on a nearby tree.
7: Kim il Sung personally introduced Koreans to many different technologies/tools including the desks in their classrooms.
8: The only thing preventing reunification is the United States.
Number 8 is kind of true when you think about it. If it wasn't for America one side would have won already and subsumed the other.
Sigvatr wrote: I'm pretty sure they still tell North Koreans that Hitler is alive and has a huge lazer-shooting robo-dinosaur army.
I'll tell you some things people in the "Democratic" People's "Republic" of Korea are told
1: When Kim il Sung died, all the swallows in the country bowed their heads in respect
2: Millions of people around the world adopted Kim Jong il's style of dress upon seeing pictures of him
3: America is trying to conquer the whole planet
4: The great 90's famine (as many as 3 million starved to death) wasn't that bad. It was caused by people neglecting their work on farming, which is a perfect system.
5: Kim il Sung has three types of greatness (ideology, aura and personality IIRC) and they teach this to school children, make them memorize it. They put it on a chart so they can learn it better.
6: Kim Jong il was born in a snowy mountain cabin during the Korean War. Soldiers standing nearby were overcome with a heavenly feeling that something great had happened and carved a message on a nearby tree.
7: Kim il Sung personally introduced Koreans to many different technologies/tools including the desks in their classrooms.
8: The only thing preventing reunification is the United States.
Number 8 is kind of true when you think about it. If it wasn't for America one side would have won already and subsumed the other.
Not necessarily. At least, it's a disingenuous argument, as it's no different than saying that China or the USSR has also fulfilled the buttress role.
Indeed they have, but if you were to remove America from the picture right now I think the North/Chinese would at least attempt a re-unification. I've always been under the impression that the only reason that they haven't pressed the issue again is because America pretty much said "You cross this line I nuke your country."
I admit I want to be a fly on the wall for the propaganda ministry's meeting for this one.
"Great Leader has declared we need a new video to inspire the people against the Imperialist Swine."
"What shall our theme be General?"
"Let us exposes the failings of the decadent west to even begin to clothe and feed their own people!"
"What shall we use for inspiration?"
*one guy looks out the window* "I think I have an idea comrades"
I beg of you sarge let me lead the charge when the battle lines are drawn
Lemme at least leave a good hoof beat they'll remember loud and long
KalashnikovMarine wrote:I admit I want to be a fly on the wall for the propaganda ministry's meeting for this one.
"Great Leader has declared we need a new video to inspire the people against the Imperialist Swine."
"What shall our theme be General?"
"Let us exposes the failings of the decadent west to even begin to clothe and feed their own people!"
"What shall we use for inspiration?"
*one guy looks out the window* "I think I have an idea comrades"
gunslingerpro wrote: Ah. Snow coffee. Staple of the ravenous, gun toting homosexual of the American West.
"Snow coffee is the opiate of the people" -Karl Marx
Dakka Bingo! By Ouze "You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry.
Sigvatr wrote: I'm pretty sure they still tell North Koreans that Hitler is alive and has a huge lazer-shooting robo-dinosaur army.
I'll tell you some things people in the "Democratic" People's "Republic" of Korea are told
1: When Kim il Sung died, all the swallows in the country bowed their heads in respect
2: Millions of people around the world adopted Kim Jong il's style of dress upon seeing pictures of him
3: America is trying to conquer the whole planet
4: The great 90's famine (as many as 3 million starved to death) wasn't that bad. It was caused by people neglecting their work on farming, which is a perfect system.
5: Kim il Sung has three types of greatness (ideology, aura and personality IIRC) and they teach this to school children, make them memorize it. They put it on a chart so they can learn it better.
6: Kim Jong il was born in a snowy mountain cabin during the Korean War. Soldiers standing nearby were overcome with a heavenly feeling that something great had happened and carved a message on a nearby tree.
7: Kim il Sung personally introduced Koreans to many different technologies/tools including the desks in their classrooms.
8: The only thing preventing reunification is the United States.
And that's just the tip of the ice berg. I once wrote a paper on Kim Jong Il using nothing but official NK documents (not my fault that the librarian was having a tantrum about the legitimacy of Wikipedia that day).
When Kim Jong Il was born, a new star lit up in the sky.
Karak Hirn Dwarfs - 2500 
