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You remember the lion king? Just sing "Hakuna Matata".

If it's a seize, it's a bs rule and you can do nothing but try to make the most of it and see if you can squeeze out a win.

We're just moving models across the table, rolling dice, and does it really matter who wins? I mean obviously that's a goal when you're playing, to win. But it's not going to matter a damn bit the next day if you won or lost so there's no point in getting upset over it.

Just think to yourself: are you working right now? Are you waiting in traffic right now? No, you're rolling dice and pushing models around the table. There are worse things going on, and even if you get totally thrashed, you were hopefully at least hanging out with a friend.

I've lost my temper a few times in gaming groups, but usually because my (pick-up) opponent was heckling me the entire game or something specific like that. We all have bad days, what are you gonna do.

The one thing I don't like is if someone comes AT me on a rules thing rather than coming WITH me. You know? It's not like I dont want the other guy to enjoy himself but if he starts acting in a mannerthat says "you're screwing me, aren't you" then it is no fun to continue. But I am mostly just sad when that happens because I know that he's going to allow his self interest to color his memory of what was by and large a fine game. So i do feel bad that some people will carry that angre around, or even project it afterwards.

So My hope is that less angry people will be the majority when we play and thatr they will want the ruling to be right as much as I do.

I always think of myself being in a TV show when I play and Im imagining all the cool battle scenes going on and the explosions and everything and its a big production in my brain the whole time. So I want to see "What happens next" andf I want tosee who will win when its Batman vs. Captain America or whatever so to speak. If an opponent gets mad at me for making sound effects and dying screams (and I do that a lot) well...

Don't be that guy! let me have my fun!

I would say i have some anger issues myself. Therapy may or may not help you, if you decide thats the route to go. I know it didnt help me, and neither did anti depressants. What did?? A punching bag, a gak happens outlook on life and a decent dose of herb. Cant go wrong man!

Wolfnid420 wrote:
I would say i have some anger issues myself. Therapy may or may not help you, if you decide thats the route to go. I know it didnt help me, and neither did anti depressants. What did?? A punching bag, a gak happens outlook on life and a decent dose of herb. Cant go wrong man!

I hope you means non-illicit herbs....

 -Loki- wrote:
Stop caring.

Seriously, it's a game where you're pushing toy soldiers around a table. Regardless of if you want to win or not, that's all it is.

If you have a bad dice roll or a string of them, that's all you're doing. It's got no impact on your life, it's merely leisure time. Winning wouldn't get you anything losing doesn't get you.

So, basically, stop caring if you're going to win. Just play and chat to your opponent. If you win, you win. It's really, really not worth getting upset over.

This.

I regularly play with a guy who has a bit of a temper when it comes to unlikely dice results. In his defense, he told this to me the first time I ever met him, and it was entirely too true.

When it happens, I remind him its just toy soldiers, and that dice are a fickle bitch at times. The key is too stop caring about each individual game so much. If you can come to grips with the fact that your going to lose games, whether it be to skill or bad dice, and just look forward to the next game you will find that you may actually enjoy your games more.

 Bassik wrote:
You don't know that, and your attitude is not helping anyone.

Of course I know it. Right from the beginning the OP is framing it as a case of dice frustration rather than getting mad at his own mistake. That kind of denial just gets in the way of the real problem: making a mistake and then taking their frustration out on someone else. Until they recognize "don't get mad at other people when you make a mistake" as a good rule to follow they're not going to get anywhere.

Telling people they need to stop playing 40K... geez.

Sorry, but that's the truth. If you can't handle a game of 40k without letting your anger get out of control and causing pointless arguments you need to just stop playing the game.

 Peregrine wrote:

 Bassik wrote:
You don't know that, and your attitude is not helping anyone.

Of course I know it. Right from the beginning the OP is framing it as a case of dice frustration rather than getting mad at his own mistake. That kind of denial just gets in the way of the real problem: making a mistake and then taking their frustration out on someone else. Until they recognize "don't get mad at other people when you make a mistake" as a good rule to follow they're not going to get anywhere.

Telling people they need to stop playing 40K... geez.

Sorry, but that's the truth. If you can't handle a game of 40k without letting your anger get out of control and causing pointless arguments you need to just stop playing the game.

Telling people it is a good idea to step away from the game, take a break is not telling people to stop playing. Everybody needs to take a break, relax, do something unproductive, argue on forums, et cetera et cetera. Everybody. Not just you, me or the guy over there. The thing is to detach yourself from the game and think about other stuff. Y'now, stuff like lunch. Chips. Cola.

 Peregrine wrote:

 Bassik wrote:
You don't know that, and your attitude is not helping anyone.

Of course I know it. Right from the beginning the OP is framing it as a case of dice frustration rather than getting mad at his own mistake. That kind of denial just gets in the way of the real problem: making a mistake and then taking their frustration out on someone else. Until they recognize "don't get mad at other people when you make a mistake" as a good rule to follow they're not going to get anywhere.

Telling people they need to stop playing 40K... geez.

Sorry, but that's the truth. If you can't handle a game of 40k without letting your anger get out of control and causing pointless arguments you need to just stop playing the game.

This attitude is one of the problems of posting stuff like this on the internet. It is entirely possible to understand and know full well that it's a game etc. etc. but also to still have trouble dealing with stuff that pops up because of it. It is extremely likely that he knows the whole "don't get mad at other people when you make a mistake" thing, but there is a sometimes a huge difference between someone understanding it, and someone's mind understanding it.

Take me, for example. I am petrified about getting my blood taken later on, but why? Logically, I know why it needs to be done; I know it's not going to be as painful as 99% of experiences in my life that have caused pain; it won't last very long; and it's going to be done by a professional. I know that and I understand that, but my brain is still telling me it's terrible, and is overriding all the logic behind it. If you want another example, I get terrible anxiety the night before I go in to volunteer, but I don't know why. Once more, I understand that it's only 4 hours and that the people are nice and it's enjoyable, but my brain takes over and for reasons I cannot explain, I am suddenly anxious and all the joys that comes with.

That is what a lot of people seem incapable of grasping, and telling someone they need to recognise X or realise Y or understand Z is often more harmful advice than helpful, because it shows that you don't get where they're coming from and it trivialises the entire thing. What you seem to be doing from your posts is pretending to know exactly what the OP is doing and pretending to know why he's doing it and giving an answer to altogether the wrong problem. You are treating it as if it's something that can be fixed overnight; you might as well have just told him to 'man up'.

I agree with Bassik; your attitude here is not the right one to take and is not in any way helpful.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
This attitude is one of the problems of posting stuff like this on the internet. It is entirely possible to understand and know full well that it's a game etc. etc. but also to still have trouble dealing with stuff that pops up because of it. It is extremely likely that he knows the whole "don't get mad at other people when you make a mistake" thing, but there is a sometimes a huge difference between someone understanding it, and someone's mind understanding it.

Except that:

1) OP still blamed the dice rather than their own bad strategic decisions, which suggests they aren't accepting the problem. Instead, it's an attempt at justifying their behavior: it's all because the dice sucked, which is something outside of my control.

2) If you can't control your anger then the responsible thing to do is stop playing the game. "But I'm working on it, and it's hard" does not justify making other people deal with your bad behavior.

 Kingsley wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again. Th break idea sounds great

You should read the book "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Various translations should be freely available online, so pick one that you like. This book is an excellent introduction to the philosophy known as Stoicism, which seems as if it would address many of your problems admirably.

+1

Reading aside, you should consider meditation in general. I find doing it once every day helps you stay centered.

1) Not the point of the thread. He asked for advice in coping with his temper, not tactical critique. Sometimes I try and blame things just because it is something I can blame. Going back to my comparisons, the lack of knowing why I get anxious etc. is worse than being anxious. Being anxious I can deal with - it goes after a time. It's trying to find out what keeps it coming back that gets me. Sometimes just saying "it was XYZ's fault" can be a coping mechanism, not a justification.

2) No, that's what you want him to do. The responsible thing is to try and get it sorted out, and if that requires his friends, then so be it; I wouldn't want friends who weren't prepared to help with stuff like this anyway. Stopping yourself playing the game is running away from it, and is done to stop everyone else being on the recieving end at the cost of your hobby, but the anger and temper will follow him wherever he goes.

Would you suggest that he simply walks away from every situation where he gets angry?

Also, "But I'm working on it, and it's hard" doesn't justify making other people deal wih it, but nobody is making anyone do anything. He's not handcuffing his opponents to the table or asking someone he's holding at gunpoint for a game. What his friends should be doing is helping him deal with it, not trying to get him to stop playing with them; that's just being self-centred.

Just take a break. A breather during a match can really help if you are about to explode.

I have massive anger management issues. Any time I feel myself start to get angry (my wife refers to it as hulking out) I call the game. No matter who is winning, it's not worth the fallout from an angry reaction. If I know the guy ill invite him out for a beer and we'll schedule a rematch, and if not ill buy him a coke or something at the store.

Play Warmahorde, so 2-3 dice has to conspire together to screw you over lol (Sarcasm Mode)
Not that it never happened to me before...

Stick your finger in you butt then point at him and get it real close to his face and watch him recoil from the smell. Its a variation on the stink palm, but no matter how bad a day you are having you will laugh at their withdraw.

 Timmy149 wrote:

Wolfnid420 wrote:
I would say i have some anger issues myself. Therapy may or may not help you, if you decide thats the route to go. I know it didnt help me, and neither did anti depressants. What did?? A punching bag, a gak happens outlook on life and a decent dose of herb. Cant go wrong man!

I hope you means non-illicit herbs....

In my state they are non-illicit and even medical! But i would be a MUCH angrier person without em lol

Don't be ashamed of losing your temper, it's a natural response mechanism. So long as you're not actually losing your gak and hurting people (or their models) then go nuts. Or maybe that's just me and my gaming group, but since we're all friends we have no problem with one person ranting and raging for a bit to blow off steam.

So long as it stays verbal you shouldn't need to feel bad, it's just blowing off hot air.

Also I've found that some people may wonder into our gaming group who might get offended. If they do get upset with you just pull out the super glue and fix one of their models or do some other thing to prove you're still a good sport about it all.