As tradition dictates we were up at Fanatix this past Friday getting our game on. We had several games going on this night. Dark Angels vs. Necrons, Blood Angels vs. Ultramarines, several Warmahordes games and my game,
IG vs. Nids. After weeks of trash talking it was time for Ben aka “Amy” to pay the piper. I was originally going to do this BatRep on that battle but let’s just say the ending was a little embarrassing.
Yeah, it was like that. Guard tabled, my dead pile. 25 points of Tervigon spawn. The worst part, he only killed 2 of those. 3 died from his Vendetta getting shot out of the sky and debris falling on top of them. Amy has been sent back to AAA. In light of this pathetic attempt to claim his manhood, we will instead bring you the battle of the Warriors of Ultramar facing off against the Angels of Blood!
*Ding Ding Ding*
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages. It is now time for the main event of the evening. Tonight’s card is brought to you by Giggle’s Sound Systems. The go to source for turning any Evil Lair into a rocking rave party. Remember, if it’s too loud, you’re too old.
In the Blue Corner: hailing from London, England. The Apothecary master of the mighty Ultra Marines. He will take your brain apart, analyze your tactics, and put it back together only to curb stomp you. Our resident neurosurgeon…of DOOM! Big Ben!
HQ -
Captain Cato Sicarius (Warlord)
Chaplain – Jump Pack, Stormbolter
Elite –
Tech-Marine – Servo Harness
Terminator Squad – Assault Cannon, Captain with Power Sword
Troops-
Scout Squad – 4 Sniper Rifles, 1 Missile Launcher, Sergeant with Shotgun
Tactical Squad – Heavy Bolter, Rhino with Dozer Blades, Pintle Mounted Stormbolter
Fast Attack-
Storm Talon – Twin-Linked LasCannon
Storm Talon – Typhoon Missile Launcher
Vanguard Veteran Squad – 4 Veteran, Sergeant with Thunder hammer/Storm shield
Heavy –
Land Raider – Multi-Melta
Storm Raven – Hurricane Bolters, Typhoon Missile Launcher, Twin-Linked Plasma Cannon, 2x Blood strike Missiles
In the Red Corner: from Spring Hill. If his dice rolled average, no man could stop him. Commander of Chili, the Necron devouring dachshund: Chandler!
HQ –
Warlord (Captain Steven Segal) Captain w/ jump pack, storm shield, lightning claw
Librarian
lvl 1, jump pack, force sword, divination (prescience)
Elites –
2 Sanguinary Priests - 1 w/ jump pack, power sword, 1 w/ jump pack, bolt pistol, chain sword
Brother Corbulo - Sanguinary priest w/
str 5 rending chainsword, 2+
FNP on himself, 2 wounds
Sternguard veterans - 3 combi-meltas, 2 combi-plasmas, drop pod (Corbulo was with this squad hoping to soak wounds with his 2+
FNP)
Furioso Dread w/ blood talons (this was loaded in the storm raven), storm bolter, meltagun
Troops –
2 ten man assault squads, 2 meltas in each, sgt w/ power fist
Heavy-
Vindicator w/ siege shield
Storm raven gunship w/
tl-lascannon,
tl-multi-melta, hurricane bolters, and 4 blood strike missiles.
The Mission: Relic. Deployment: Hammer and Anvil. No Night Fighting. Initiative: Ultramar.
Let’s get it on!
Ultramarines deploy the
Tac Squad Rhino and Land Raider with Sicarius, Tech-Marine, and Terminator Squad on his forward line. Scouts deploy in the ruins. Raven, two Talons, and Vanguard Squad in reserve.
Blood Angels deploy the Vindicator in the ruins on the left with the Assault Marine squad on the road in the back. Devastator Squad mans the
ADL and Quad Gun. Steven Segal’s squad, Storm Raven, and Corbulo with Sternguard Pod in reserve.
Ultra Turn 1:
No body moves. That’s right. Big Ben is going to let them come to him and gun line them down. The scout squad in the ruins use their height advantage to fire into the Devastator squad manning the
ADL and take out one missile launcher. Ben then motions to Chandler to “bring it”.
Blood Angels Turn 1:
Chandler brings it indeed. The Drop Pod carrying the Stern Guard and Corbulo arrives and deep strikes right next to the Land Raider.
Prescience is cast on the Vindicator but a perils of the warp is rolled.

The Vindicator moves up but does not have a good shot on anything.
The Stern Guard opens up with their Combi-Meltas into Land Raider: 3 hits, 3 pens, explode. First Blood to the Blood Angels.
On a side note, this was the third time tonight that a Land Raider was first blood. I reminisce on a time when Land Raiders weren’t considered metal coffins and my Genestealers were amazing. The
Dev squad fires back at the scouts and hit nothing but ruins as the Scouts duck for cover. The Assault Marines continue to run up the street toward to secure relic but are left in the open.
Ultra Turn 2
Storm raven and Storm Talon with missiles come arrive from reserve. The Quad-Gun takes intercepts the Talon but fails to penetrate its armor. The terminator squad moves out of the wreckage of their land raider toward the relic while the Tech-Marine and Sicarius split off to deal with Corbulo and the Sternguard.
The Scouts use their sniper rifles to fire into Corbulo and the Sternguard and cause a rending wound. Corbulo takes the wound but fails his 2+
FNP. Chandler’s dice are par for the course.

The Tech-Marine uses his flamethrower on the on the Sternguard as well but power armor is impervious to fire. The Terminators open fire onto the assault marines with stormbolters and an assault cannon killing 4 marines. The Ultra Raven fires its hurricane bolters , plasma cannon, and typhoon missile at the assault marines killing 4 more and the sergeant.
Sicarius and the Tech-Marine charge Corbulo and the Sternguard. Sicarius takes a wound from Corbulo and misses his attacks. The Tech-Marine kills two Sternguard, causing them to break but they stay in combat.
Blood Angels Turn 2
The Blood Angels Storm Raven comes arrives but Steven Segal and his assault squad do not come in. The Remaining assault marines jump into the ruins to take cover while the Vindicator moves up and fires on the Terminators.
The Vindicator scatters 2” but still manages to kill 2 Terminators. The
Dev squad fires missile, las, and quad at the Ultra Raven destroying a Hurricane Bolter Sponson. The Blood Raven fires everything at the Ultra Raven scoring all hits, but zero penetrations. In close combat, Sicarius deals 3 wounds onto Corbulo and he again fails his 2+
FNP and dies without dealing a wound in return.
It would appear that Chandler’s dice are par for the course tonight. The Tech-Marine kills another Sternguard but the squad makes its leadership check.
*Warning! Warning! Attention all imperial citizens. There has been a Kaiju sighting in sector 4. I repeat, there is a Kaiju warning for this sector. Please be on the lookout for any rampaging monsters.*
Ultra Turn 3
The second Storm Talon arrives from reserve and moves toward the middle of the pitch.
Rhino moves up toward the relic and the
Tac squad disembarks.
The Missile Talon moves toward the
ADL and opens fire on the
Dev squad eliminating them. The Ultra Raven moves in to hover mode and the Vanguard squad disembarks. The Ultra Raven fires at the Blood Raven and hits it with a Typhoon Missile but fails to penetrate its armour. The LasTalon fires its Lascannons at the Vindicator scoring a pen6.
Sicarius kills the last of the Sternguard and consolidates into the ruins.
*Dun Dun Dun* Mothra appears!
Blood Angel Turn 3
The Assault Marines led by Steven Segal arrive only after a reroll and
DoA into the back third of the pitch.
The assault marines that jumped into cover jump back into the street behind the Furioso that disembarked from the Blood Raven.
Steven Segal’s squad fire upon the
Tac Squad taking out one marine. The Blood Raven fires everything into the Ultra Raven hitting with everything but only causing one glance. The Furioso charges into the
Tac Squad killing 6. They choose to fail their morale test but are stuck in combat.
Mothra moves into the empty
ADL and becomes a little disappointed that he is being ignored by the warring marine factions. But wait…there’s a shiny…
Ultra Turn 4
Sicarius and the Tech-Marine move into the wreckage of the Land Raider while the Rhino backs up to provide mobile cover from the Steven Segal’s squad. Missile Talon moves to hover while the LasTalon advances toward the center.
The Vanguard squad and scouts advance toward the relic. The Tech-Marine takes out the drop pod in shooting while the Ultra Raven gets a direct hit on Steven Segal’s squad with its plasma cannon killing all but the Sergeant, two dew boys, Sanguinary Priest, and the lethal weapon: Steven Segal.
The LasTalon fires at the Blood Raven but fails to penetrate. The Missile Talon takes out another assault marine in the center of the board. The Terminator and Vanguard squads join combat with the Furioso dreadnaught.
The Furioso swings and causes 3 wounds but they are saved by the Vanguard Sergeants storm shield. Thunder hammers and power fists swing back taking out the Furioso.
Blood Angel Turn 4
Steven Segal and company move to claim Line breaker.
The Blood Raven fires its hurricane bolters in to the remaining
Tac squad members finishing off the unit. Leroy, the sergeant of the cowardly assault marine unit throws a grenade glancing the LasTalon while the Blood Raven machine spirit’s the twin-linked LasCannon firing at the Ultra Raven but it jukes the shot. Chandler’s forces are few but he’s up 2-0 in points with only the Scouts able to claim the relic.
Mothra stalks the shadows and finds a vantage point to watch the battle, always keeping an eye on his shiny.
Ultra Turn 5
The Ultra Raven, Missile Talon, Tech-Marine, and Sicarius move to intercept Steven Segal before he can make another awful action movie. The Terminators move to take out Leroy and his remaining assault marines, their shots hitting nothing but air. The LasTalon takes out the LasCannon on the Blood Raven while the scouts snap fire into it as well but miss. The Vanguard squad runs into the ruins to claim Line breaker.
The Ultra Raven fires its twin-linked Plasma Cannon into Steven Segal causing a wound. The Typhoon missile launcher fires and takes out his two lackeys and the Hurricane bolter double taps leaving him with one wound left. Missile Talon fires and takes out the Sanguinary Priest. Sicarius and the Tech-Marine charge Steven Segal while the Terminators charge Leroy and his assault marines.
Leroy and pals deal no wounds to the Terminators before the power fists crush a dew boy. Sicarius and Stephen bump combat and the Tech-Marine whiffs yet again.
Blood Angel Turn 5
The Blood Raven moves up and fires everything at the scouts in the open, killing all of them.
The Terminators and Leroy both whiff in combat leaving Chandler’s only scoring units tied up. Steven Segal uses his martial arts prowess to inflict a wound on Sicarius but left an opening in doing so and takes a power sword to the face. Warlord goes to Big Ben as well as denying Line breaker to Chandler.
The game ends here with Big Ben ahead 2-1 in secondary missions. The game hinges on who controls the Relic…..
That’s right! Mothra seized his opening and took possession of his prized shiny! Tyranid victory 3 to 2 to 1.
Hope you enjoyed reading another Evil Lair BatRep. And remember, cheat to win!
~Giggles aka Skyfish