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Long story short, the singer for As I Lay Dying and Austrian Death Machine was just arrested for trying to hire a hitman to kill his wife. This supposed hitman was an undercover cop in disguise. Oops.
but, with all the Kickstarters going on these days, they also mentioned that ADM just had an Indiegogo campaign to fund a new album, they were speculating that the campaign was really just to raise cash to hire said fake hitman. Either way, I guess those backers won't be getting their new album anytime soon...
Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios
Your thread title could cause an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines
Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.
A hitman faked the death of his intended victim after falling in love with her, staging a murder scene using two bottles of ketchup.
It sounds like the script to a late- night movie being shown on a foreign satellite TV channel.
Suspicious wife hires hitman to bump off love rival, only the would-be killer falls in love at first sight with intended victim.
They then fake her assassination using liberal sploshes of ketchup and a machete under an armpit.
But after running away their plot is foiled – when the angry wife sees them together days later.
All three characters are now being investigated by police. As chief Marconi Lima said: ‘In eight years of policing, I’ve never heard anything like it.’
Housewife Maria Nilza Simoes was convinced Iranildes Aguiar Araujo was having an affair with her husband. She paid hitman Carlos Roberto de Jesus £345 to murder her.
But when de Jesus saw his intended victim, he fell head over heels for her and confessed the plot.
They then conjured up a plan to fool Simoes into believing he carried out the hit. The new lovers bought two bottles of ketchup and staged the murder scene.
But the ruse was discovered three days later when Simoes saw the pair kissing.
She then went to the police to complain he had stolen $1,000 from her. The murder was supposed to take place in the small town of Pidonbacu, in eastern Brazil.
Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios
That's just... weird. Now I want a movie.
Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines
Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.
Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios
On the other hand, he did end the affair. Although not in the way intended. A smart person would have seen them kissing and left it at that, knowing the consequences of going to the police over this instance of fraud.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/05/10 19:52:02
Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines
Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.
Grey Templar wrote: On the other hand, he did end the affair. Although not in the way intended. A smart person would have seen them kissing and left it at that, knowing the consequences of going to the police over this instance of fraud.
Where's the humour in that though? We need cheap laughs like that from time to time. Like the occasional guy who thinks he got ripped off buying drugs and phones the police to complain
Grey Templar wrote: On the other hand, he did end the affair. Although not in the way intended. A smart person would have seen them kissing and left it at that, knowing the consequences of going to the police over this instance of fraud.
She walks up to him and shouts "I paid you good money to do her in!", and the other woman turns to him and shouts "She paid you to have sex with me?", prompting the first woman to shout "It looks like I did, yes!" and the other woman shouts "I thought you loved me, you creep!" at the guy, and the first woman consoles her as the guy is left lost for words, and the two women end up in some sort of lesbian relationship based around the joint experience. Meanwhile, the hitman is comforted by the first woman's husband, and they start a gay relationship based around their joint experiences.
I think I need to go and have a lie down...
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
Soladrin wrote: You seem to have an odd obsession with same sex stuff.... I think we need to have a word about the birds and bees.
It's not an obsession, it's just a minor overinterest.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/05/10 20:05:23
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
I quite agree, Faulkner ruined stream of consciousness for me for ages.
Klawz-Ramming is a subset of citrus fruit?
Gwar- "And everyone wants a bigger Spleen!"
Mercurial wrote:
I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.
Orkeosaurus wrote:Star Trek also said we'd have X-Wings by now. We all see how that prediction turned out.
Orkeosaurus, on homophobia, the nature of homosexuality, and the greatness of George Takei.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleyways and mugs them for loose grammar.
Dunno how many years you can get for hiring a hitman, but I think a lot of backers are gonna be sad they pledged for something they probably won't get now. Unless he turns it into one of those prison bands or something.
Necros wrote: Dunno how many years you can get for hiring a hitman, but I think a lot of backers are gonna be sad they pledged for something they probably won't get now. Unless he turns it into one of those prison bands or something.
From the article;
"Lambesis was arrested on Tuesday at a store in Oceanside, north of San Diego. If convicted, he could face as many as nine years in prison."
4000+
6000+ Order. Unity. Obedience.
Thousand Sons 4000+
And if you're drinkin' well, you know that you're my friend and I say "I think I'll have myself a beer" 
