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I wanted to make a super great background for my IG regiment but after being unable to please myself for four hours I decided to screw it all and let the Emperor/Dark Gods/Ethernals sort it out. How do you like it?

Axel was having a terrible day, the only thing he had ever wanted from life was to be a warrior and fight and die without having to worry aboout anything else in life. Unfortuantly he had been born in the universe of Warhammer 40k, which mean he would have to pay his due of mandatory suffering. He had finally graduated from the Imperial Guard academy several months ago. He had been drafted at the age of six and completed required training at ten. He spent the next eight years waiting to have various forms filled out by the proper administartors only to be forced to wait in another line as his forms had expired while waiting. Eventually he was shipped off to some world he had never heard of to fight a war against uncertain foes. Things didn't go well. For starters his gear had been taken excluively from the "mistake" box. His lasgun was impossible to assemble, his knives grips had been bolted to the blade, his flak vest was made side ways, bakcwards, and all the holes were head sized. His uplifiting primer had forgone ink during its printing. Due to an adminstiratrum error all 999,999 other soldiers had accidently been shipped to a grave world and were buried alive (the process was over-seen by the commisaariat). Axel traveled through the warp without any kind of guidance, pilots, and with only 999,999 casualties for company, assisstance, and battle support.

He eventually found his ship had crashed into a world devoid of life asside from simple plants and animals. However he had fallen under the gaze of Tzneetch. The lord of change had grown bored so he decided to prank the living warp essence out of Slaanesh, Khorne, and most of all Axel. He surrounded the planet with a special warp sheild preventing anyone from coming to or leaving the planet, Next he changed all the corpses into perfect living copies of Axel. The warp shield changed the fundamental rules of reality on the planet, quite the opposite of what one would expect of chaos time not only head meaning, but indeed held extra meaning as every moment seemed to drag on forever. He also preserved his sanity and souls making them very appealing to the hordes of daemons who sought access to the world. Addtionally The changer of ways decided to troll every mortal follower of chaos ever by giving them eternal youth for no apparent reason which . Over time Axel grew bored, he had no intrest in fighting himself, nor the ambition to develop a meaningful pass time including science, night clubs, or full time employment. Being nineteen, he of course had the impulse control of a dog in a beef jerkyery, which appealed to the god of dark delights. The gods of chaos knew all they would have to do to gain access to the world would be to punch the nerd god in his coke bottle rimmed glasses wearing face, an action they knew they could not do as it was exactlly as he had prepared for. The fact that He was in no way prepared for this brought endless delight to Tzneetch.

The Imperium still had its eyes on the Axels as they would make the perfect guardsment (the warm bodied, consicous type). However being in their special circumstances had given them a special kind of rage, interned for centuries without anything to do and forbidden from distracting themselves with insanity had angered them to perviously unheard of levels. This attracted the eye of the angry marines who NEEDED THAT RAGE, driving them to attempt to recruit every single last axel on the planet. The tau arrived next, wishing to expand into the sector and envious of world full of warriors who would likely server the greater good if given an opprotunity. As Battle barges, a space born sly Morbo, fire warriors, and chaos hordes arrived enmass. Tzeentch knew he had created one of his finest works ever and marveld at one of his finest stalemates ever knowing that a pocket, no matter how small, of no war was possibley the greatest change to ever befall the galaxy. It was not to last.

He marveled as the various factions attempted to penetrate his shield knowing his work indestrucitble, until it flickered and died out. Scouring the world for what could possibly have destroyed his shields he found that the small foutain that sat in a square in one of the poorly constructed cities of world hadn't been a foutain at ll. In truth it was actaully a massive construct of necron origins over 500 feet high and three times the size of the square it inhabited. But it would take some kind of tactical genius to- CREEED!!! Without anything to block their progress the factions fell to the planet to battle for the alliegnce of the Millions of Axels. All hell broke loose.

So..... its an army of all the same guy? or??
umm...

I dunno.

 Engine of War wrote:
So..... its an army of all the same guy? or??
umm...

I dunno.

I Agree...

So a million of the same guy are all fighting every other race because tzeentch =trollface..... it was amusing at least (especially the burying alive part) but the using the tzeentch=troll as the backbone of the story is kinda dumb. 7/10 i say.... this belongs on 1d4chan rather than here

So their all Boba Fet basically then right?

Not sure how to rate this... So I will rate twice.

As a serious backstory:
1/10: Obviously.

As a 1d4chan kind of story
8/10.

WTF did I just read?

This lol is not spam

I award you no points...