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So, I had this idea for a story I'd like to write.

A fleeing Fallen Angel releases the convicts aboard a prison barge and releases the prisoners aboard, causing a shipwide mutiny. Then, using the prisoners as a crew he sets sail into the eye of terror and makes dock at Abaddon's citadel. There, he turns over the convicts as slaves to arouse Abaddon's interests, and requests the warmaster allow him to join the ranks of his Black Legion in order to find some asylum from the Unforgiven hunting him. Abaddon sees a means to his own end in our evil dark angel. As an outsider he is untainted by the intralegion politics and can act as the warmaster's eyes and ears in the warband of one of his major lieutenants who, should rumors be believed, is planning a coupe within the legion's ranks. So, while our protagonist is snooping around the warband the lord is trying to discover the identity of the newcomer, which, should he acomplish, would see the Fallen left marooned on a planet with a homing beacon tuned to a frequency used by his Unforgiven cousins.

Plenty of political backstabbing, open warfare, and a protagonist who is caught in an uncertain middle ground between two polar opposite fanatic factions (He serves Chaos but does not worship it, rather hates his once-brothers, father, and the Imperium enough to side with its foe)

Well, what do ya think?

1) How could he use prisoners as a crew? Operating a ship is mad complicated, especially for a Fallen Angel with no Captaining expertise and a bunch of mostly uneducated convicts.

You should just have the warp's currents carry the ship back to the Eye of Terror instead. Its been mentioned a few times that ships lost in the warp (or simply unmanned) drift towards the Eye.

2) Abaddon has a shitton of slaves. I don't think a few hundred more would get the Warmaster's interest. You don't want to treat the Warmaster too casually (like ADB did in Soul Hunter). The Fallen Angel should get the attention of one of Abaddon's lieutenants/minions/generals/regional assistant managers at first. Abaddon himself comes later.

3) From there, he should work his way up the ranks. That way, we (the audience) get to learn about the inner workings of the Black Legion, both its history and politics.

4) The lieutenant shouldn't be looking for the Dark Angel, because that represents a serious feth-up on Abaddon's part. How did he learn about it? There's already enough tension in Black Legion politics; you can take away that identity stuff and the story will still have enough conflict.

5) Regarding writing politics; it is hard. Very hard. Its easy to focus on too few people (and leaving the audience to assume that the story takes place in a bubble, where Abaddon and his lieutenant are the only politicians in the Black Legion). Its also too easy to make the plots too simple, or needlessly complicated. The best way to write politics, any sort of politics, is to steal plotlines from real life events. Maybe Abaddon is Stalin, the lieutenant is Beria, and the Dark Angel is Beria's treacherous bodyguard, Sarkisov. Or maybe Abaddon is Genghis Khan. The point being, stealing stories from real life makes it easier to write, makes it more realistic, and just makes it better in general.

edit: 6) Change your avatar.

LoneLictor. It is a crime against fiction that the imagination swirling around between your ears doesn't have a BL stamp on it earning you royalties.

That said - for item 1 - perhaps the prisoners could be a previous mutinous crew captured and sentenced to death. The admiral of the flotilla decides they deserve a pretty interesting death (perhaps jettisoned into a nearby star or black hole), and this provides an opportunity for the protagonist.

This gives you reasonable access to a captaining character, officers, and grunts. Perhaps not enough for a big ship, but enough for a smaller one. They could provide some character-development meat for the Fallen/Eye of Terror sandwich. This way, these pretty important people aren't just empty characters.

 LoneLictor wrote:
1) edit: 6) Change your avatar.

Never!

Thanks lads, very helpful feedback