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G00fySmiley wrote: Orks were in 4th edition until 7th edition. Talk about sw being neglected when you go to 8th.
Also fluff wise space wolves might be the worst codex, wolf mcwolferson wolfed a wolf to the wolfing wolf is pretty much how it reads. That said it is still one of the best books for apace marines. When you get a new book I doubt it will add much power. I bet they are one of the next up though I think blood angels who if I remember right are older than space wolves Dex wise is next IOM then likely dark eldar who ate also older... Then probably wolves
The Space Wolves fluff is amazing if you have any appreciation for Norse mythology.
...except for the parts where they win against silly odds that would make the silliest SW fanfic look professional. *Cough* Battle of The Fang *cough* Blood of Asheim
They won because Fenris the very world itself fought against the thousand sons. A Rune Priest caused massive storms which took out most of their army.
G00fySmiley wrote: Orks were in 4th edition until 7th edition. Talk about sw being neglected when you go to 8th.
Also fluff wise space wolves might be the worst codex, wolf mcwolferson wolfed a wolf to the wolfing wolf is pretty much how it reads. That said it is still one of the best books for apace marines. When you get a new book I doubt it will add much power. I bet they are one of the next up though I think blood angels who if I remember right are older than space wolves Dex wise is next IOM then likely dark eldar who ate also older... Then probably wolves
The Space Wolves fluff is amazing if you have any appreciation for Norse mythology.
...except for the parts where they win against silly odds that would make the silliest SW fanfic look professional. *Cough* Battle of The Fang *cough* Blood of Asheim
They won because Fenris the very world itself fought against the thousand sons. A Rune Priest caused massive storms which took out most of their army.
Which sounds like bad internet fanfiction...
IRON WITHIN, IRON WITHOUT.
New Heavy Gear Log! Also...Grey Knights! The correct pronunciation is Imperial Guard and Stormtroopers, "Astra Militarum" and "Tempestus Scions" are something you'll find at Hogwarts.
G00fySmiley wrote: Orks were in 4th edition until 7th edition. Talk about sw being neglected when you go to 8th.
Also fluff wise space wolves might be the worst codex, wolf mcwolferson wolfed a wolf to the wolfing wolf is pretty much how it reads. That said it is still one of the best books for apace marines. When you get a new book I doubt it will add much power. I bet they are one of the next up though I think blood angels who if I remember right are older than space wolves Dex wise is next IOM then likely dark eldar who ate also older... Then probably wolves
The Space Wolves fluff is amazing if you have any appreciation for Norse mythology.
...except for the parts where they win against silly odds that would make the silliest SW fanfic look professional. *Cough* Battle of The Fang *cough* Blood of Asheim
They won because Fenris the very world itself fought against the thousand sons. A Rune Priest caused massive storms which took out most of their army.
And yet the Thousand Sons being far better trained, magically enhanced by both Tzeentch and the Rubric of Ahriman.
Think about what's more powerful. A sorcerer drawing on a small portion of the warp's power with the risk of backlash. Or a Rune Priest drawing on the power of an ENTIRE world with no risk of psychic backlash?
Blacksails wrote: Think about what sounds sillier when you consider how it works when they're not on that planet.
It's the 41st millennium, very little makes sense. That doesn't keep it from being awesome.
I think, like mentioned earlier, it comes off a little like bad fan fiction.
"So this faction has powers like everyone else, but instead of using the exact same source/method like everyone else, they use this totally different method that makes them different and better, but they totally hate when other factions do pretty much the exact same thing they do, because their way is totally different and better."
It strikes me as just poor writing. If they dislike psykers, then they shouldn't have anything mystical like that to fortify that aspect of their character. If they use powers like everyone else, best that they at least keep with the theme and just use psykers like everyone else.
Personal taste and all that, but I don't think its awesome at all. The same way I don't think a Wolf Lord riding a Thunder Wolf wearing a Wolf pelt and wielding his Wolf Claw is awesome.
Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress
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Random Dude wrote: Which is precisely why I use Ragnar. Someone who constantly gains attacks as his rage skyrockets is much better than a wolfy wolf lord on a wolf.
Sure, but that doesn't change the fluff/crunch of the Space Wolves as a faction.
They could be an awesome Norse flavoured chapter, but the whole thing falls flat and often finds itself confused as to what it wants to be.
Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress
+Spaceship Gaming Enthusiast+
Live near Halifax, NS? Ask me about our group, the Ordo Haligonias!
Random Dude wrote: I think I've learned to accept that with GW. Let's just hope Matt Ward doesn't write the next codex.
Well, some chapters are better developed in that they have a defined theme and stick to it with minimal contradiction or excessive silliness. But yeah, like much of GW, there's a lot of hit and miss. For me, the Wolves are mostly miss.
Ward has actually done some decent stuff crunch-wise, but the fluff leaves something to be desired. Really though, there isn't a codex writer that doesn't have some glaring flaw or shoddy track record of some sort. None of the writers strike me as having any sort of consistency with either crunch or fluff.
Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress
+Spaceship Gaming Enthusiast+
Live near Halifax, NS? Ask me about our group, the Ordo Haligonias!
Random Dude wrote: I think I've learned to accept that with GW. Let's just hope Matt Ward doesn't write the next codex.
Ward writing a space marine codex is good he will jack up the power level... But I think he did orks and does not like or understand them hence to new codex being.... Boringnerfed and overcosted... Took cybork body from 5++ to 6+ fnp .. Wtf
Random Dude wrote: Think about what's more powerful. A sorcerer drawing on a small portion of the warp's power with the risk of backlash. Or a Rune Priest drawing on the power of an ENTIRE world with no risk of psychic backlash?
That's precisely the problem, though - they're not actually drawing on Fenris, they're drawing on the Warp. Fenris is just a planet, and has no inherent psychic signature (if it did, we'd be wondering if it were really a Daemon World). Rune Priests are psykers, they just believe that their power comes from Fenris and that they're not psykers at all. This hypocrisy makes part of why people dislike the SW (not to mention that The Emperor himself believed them and let them keep practising magic while simultaneously condemning other Legions for it).
The Thousand Sons are supposed to be the greatest of all psykers (generally, obviously not including rare exceptions like Alphas), especially after the Rubric. Furthermore they are Chaos Sorcerers, whose patronage with a Dark God and free reign to pursue any hidden knowledge they desire (unlike Librarians, who are bound by strict rules to safeguard them from the Warp) are supposed to make them inherently superior to other psykers. Finally, how many Rune Priests were there? One? The Thousand Sons always have a number of sorcerers. If you're talking about the Battle of the Fang (I have no knowledge of Blood of Asheim), then Magnus the Red was there. You know, Magnus, the guy who was rumoured to be psychically on par with The Emperor even before he was backed up by the Chaos God of magic?
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/07/10 03:13:39
The battle of the Fang was won because the Fang is a fortress monestary built inside one of the biggest mountains on a *death* world. No part of that is good for an attacking force, their humans where dying like flies to the natural weather on Fenris.
Fafnir wrote: Oh, I certainly vote with my dollar, but the problem is that that is not enough. The problem with the 'vote with your dollar' response is that it doesn't take into account why we're not buying the product. I want to enjoy 40k enough to buy back in. It was my introduction to traditional games, and there was a time when I enjoyed it very much. I want to buy 40k, but Gamesworkshop is doing their very best to push me away, and simply not buying their product won't tell them that.
Random Dude wrote: Think about what's more powerful. A sorcerer drawing on a small portion of the warp's power with the risk of backlash. Or a Rune Priest drawing on the power of an ENTIRE world with no risk of psychic backlash?
That's precisely the problem, though - they're not actually drawing on Fenris, they're drawing on the Warp. Fenris is just a planet, and has no inherent psychic signature (if it did, we'd be wondering if it were really a Daemon World). Rune Priests are psykers, they just believe that their power comes from Fenris and that they're not psykers at all. This hypocrisy makes part of why people dislike the SW (not to mention that The Emperor himself believed them and let them keep practising magic while simultaneously condemning other Legions for it).
The Thousand Sons are supposed to be the greatest of all psykers (generally, obviously not including rare exceptions like Alphas), especially after the Rubric. Furthermore they are Chaos Sorcerers, whose patronage with a Dark God and free reign to pursue any hidden knowledge they desire (unlike Librarians, who are bound by strict rules to safeguard them from the Warp) are supposed to make them inherently superior to other psykers. Finally, how many Rune Priests were there? One? The Thousand Sons always have a number of sorcerers. If you're talking about the Battle of the Fang (I have no knowledge of Blood of Asheim), then Magnus the Red was there. You know, Magnus, the guy who was rumoured to be psychically on par with The Emperor even before he was backed up by the Chaos God of magic?
Blood of Asheim.... just.... don't read it. For the sweet Emperor of whatever you want maybe chaos nids don't find out. Frankly, I think it's worse than The battle of the Fang and I think that's a pretty bad one. The characters felt bland, Space Wolves cringing at being called that name, the antagonists are meh and have very odd power levels with marines butchering their way through infinite forces with no losses, coupled with, in my opinion, perhaps one of the most horrendous interpretations of Sisters (talking they lost faith and were inspired by wolves that constantly insult them over and over and reveals a secret to them she promised to keep then they all get killed in a stand, in a safe position with guardsman prepared with flamers to kill. The Marines kill drastically more despite only being a small force. And, for funzies a Sister let in a plague refuge foolishly.)
Let's be honest, it was kind of easy to beat that Magnus, he kept on forgetting who he was and remembering the past all the time like some nostalgic old man.
This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2014/07/10 04:50:29
My favourite part about all these threads is how, like any Space Wolf related thread, it turns into this almost witch hunt/religious pseudo debate. Their main anger seems to come from the fact that the source of powers for Rune Priests comes from a planet yet they remain in the Imperium. An Imperium headed by a "God Emperor" who has lived for centuries on a chair that they sacrifice thousands to in effort to fuel it. I just find myself astonished that out of all the insane, unrealistic, out of this world fiction, it's the Wolves of Fenris who catch the most flak for not being a cookie cutter of the other nine million chapters out there.
"You're different and I hate you for it." - The generalization of what every person who has a vendetta against wolves says.
I just find it amusing that in a game meant for adults, it's the most childish who crawl out of the woodwork to complain about these things. Especially the ones complaining about the psyker powers that NO LONGER EXIST.
Instead of them turning their annoyance towards GW and its writers, they turn on the Space Wolves players and seem to have this goal in shaming them for wanting to play something different when every other chapter is the exact same as the last in a different paint scheme.
Who cares if it makes total sense? Who cares if it doesn't follow the status quo? I have one very big realization for anyone that complains about things like this.
Warhammer 40K IS A GAME.
A GAME FOR FUN.
If your life is so dominated by a game that it causes you to do nothing but complain, ridicule and berate your fellow players than I believe you have a much bigger problem in your own personal life that should take precedence over whether or not a passage from a book related to a game makes sense to you.
There are those among the Dakka community who know that this applies to them and whether or not they want to admit to it is up to them.
I fully expect to catch a lot of flame for this but before that happens, I'd like to point out that those who have these issues against the Space Wolves should be stating them in 40k Background and not General Discussion. The fact that it leaks into what could be considered the out of character section should show just how small minded some people can be.
Random Dude wrote: Think about what's more powerful. A sorcerer drawing on a small portion of the warp's power with the risk of backlash. Or a Rune Priest drawing on the power of an ENTIRE world with no risk of psychic backlash?
That's precisely the problem, though - they're not actually drawing on Fenris, they're drawing on the Warp. Fenris is just a planet, and has no inherent psychic signature (if it did, we'd be wondering if it were really a Daemon World). Rune Priests are psykers, they just believe that their power comes from Fenris and that they're not psykers at all. This hypocrisy makes part of why people dislike the SW (not to mention that The Emperor himself believed them and let them keep practising magic while simultaneously condemning other Legions for it).
The Thousand Sons are supposed to be the greatest of all psykers (generally, obviously not including rare exceptions like Alphas), especially after the Rubric. Furthermore they are Chaos Sorcerers, whose patronage with a Dark God and free reign to pursue any hidden knowledge they desire (unlike Librarians, who are bound by strict rules to safeguard them from the Warp) are supposed to make them inherently superior to other psykers. Finally, how many Rune Priests were there? One? The Thousand Sons always have a number of sorcerers. If you're talking about the Battle of the Fang (I have no knowledge of Blood of Asheim), then Magnus the Red was there. You know, Magnus, the guy who was rumoured to be psychically on par with The Emperor even before he was backed up by the Chaos God of magic?
Your falling into the trap where two different books with the same named character is the same named character in both books. What I mean is Magnus the Reds power level and accomplishments will be different in two different books. In one book he is a total bad ass sorcer on par with the Emperor. In another he is the antagonist who must somehow loose at the end of the book. Well he sure as hell cant really loose if he is as all powerful as Book A made him out to be, but in order for Book B to have the ending the author envisions he has to loose, so he does, and as such makes either the protag in Book B look really awesome, or the Magnus looks like he missed a step somewhere along the way. And we the fans are left trying to reconcile why Magnus A and B don't add up to the same guy.
This is what you get when you have multiple authors writing in the same setting, using the same characters and no checks and balances. This isn't just a 40K thing. Try reading various Conan, Zorro, Lone Ranger, novels by different authors - you would hardly know its the same guy. The same with Star Trek and even Star Wars to a degree.
Its also totally possible to be anti psycher and imploy your own psychers. Sometimes it takes a witch to kill a witch. The SW have enough other anti-psycher gear in the form of Wolf Tail Talismans, runic staves, and runic armor to easily impress their devotion to stopping enemy psychic abilities. Far beyond the standard issue psychic hoods that seem to be the only form of protection that other Chapters use. Hell don't GK use daemon infused weapons against daemons themselves?
See pics of my Orks, Tau, Emperor's Children, Necrons, Space Wolves, and Dark Eldar here:
I love how Space Wolf fanboys and girls all actually buy into that "power of the planet" bullgak.
I mean, someone even stated that Rune Priests don't fear backlash!
Newsflash, honey: Rune Priests suffer from Perils of the Warp just like any other psyker.
Captain Planet does not risk Perils of the Warp.
Rune Priests do.
Which of these draws on the 'powers of the planet' and which is a deluded witch again?
_______________________________________________
In all honesty, I quite like the "power of the planet" stuff with the Wolves, because it's so obviously there to demonstrate hypocrisy and show how the loyalist Imperium is just as bad as the traitors.
Remember, people: 40k is not a "heroes vs villains" setting. The whole concept of 40k's alignment axis is "How evil can we make the protagonists while still presenting them as the preferable option?"
"That time I only loaded the cannon with powder. Next time, I will fill it with jewels and diamonds and they will cut you to shrebbons!" - Nogbad the Bad.
I think the whole 'drawing power from Fenris' isn't just the Wolve's justification to their selves, it's more a mindset. They see Thousand Sons dealing with creatures of the warp and they are disgusted, as they should be, because even though they are psykers, they stay the hell away from that kind of stuff.
Fafnir wrote: Oh, I certainly vote with my dollar, but the problem is that that is not enough. The problem with the 'vote with your dollar' response is that it doesn't take into account why we're not buying the product. I want to enjoy 40k enough to buy back in. It was my introduction to traditional games, and there was a time when I enjoyed it very much. I want to buy 40k, but Gamesworkshop is doing their very best to push me away, and simply not buying their product won't tell them that.
I think a big part of the issue is that Space Marines in general are shown to be infallible and godlike, and Space Wolves are even worse. They're the baddest of the bad, they don't follow the Codex Astartes, they drink and fight and sleep around, and can attack and kill Inquisitors with no repercussions. They're basically the ultimate Mary Sue faction among a group of Mary Sue factions (i.e. Marines in general), and I say that as someone who actually kinda likes Wolves and is *very* tempting to pick up the new campaign set with them in it.
Any other Chapter would be sanctioned and/or declared traitors, but not the Wolves. They do whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want and everybody else kind of just goes "Oh, those wacky Space Wolves! What will they do next?" and everyone bursts out laughing. Compare that to something like the Crimson Sabres who were duped into massacring a planet by a daemon that was masquerading as an Inquisitor and almost immediately declared traitors because nobody liked them to begin with just because they were a bit on the rugged side; I bet the Wolves could (and probably have) done the same thing and nobody cares, because they're the Space Wolves.
In short, most Wolf fluff reads like bad fanfiction from a teenager who wants his characters to be the most larger-than-life badasses ever so they do impossible things and come out unscathed or without facing any consequences.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2014/07/10 11:26:39
I personally just dislike the whole rune priest thing because it's utterly dumb. You can justify it however you want, but like a lot of space wolf fluff, it just seems to be different for the sake of being different. As someone on this page described it, it reads a bit like a fanfic.
"You're different and I hate you for it." - The generalization of what every person who has a vendetta against wolves says.
Or more simply
"The lore for Wolves is childish, hypocritical, and possibly the biggest Mary Sue faction in the entirety of the 40k lore."
Then of course there's the fact they've always been Space marines + 1 for being better, overall more powerful, and have since 2nd edition.
Their main anger seems to come from the fact that the source of powers for Rune Priests comes from a planet yet they remain in the Imperium. An Imperium headed by a "God Emperor" who has lived for centuries on a chair that they sacrifice thousands to in effort to fuel it. I just find myself astonished that out of all the insane, unrealistic, out of this world fiction, it's the Wolves of Fenris who catch the most flak for not being a cookie cutter of the other nine million chapters out there.
It'd be the same if Blood Angels started shooting blood bolts from their bolters that are able to penetrate titans, it breaks the lore, it's not cookie-cutter if all your doing is breaking the established setting to begin with, and it's just plain stupid.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/07/10 11:47:44
I love Space Wolves and have collected them long time, but I'd be happy to see Rune Priests turned in to more of an anti-psyker unit instead of what they are now. Maybe the exception being Njal.
I'd also be happy to have them drop a lot of the wolf wolfiness of wolfdom stuff and instead go to more of a viking theme. The wolf-ness should primarily be a reference to the nature of the chapter and more secretly the flaw in the geneseed, not them running around with the wolfness of wolfenstien.
Space Wolves could be such an awesomely written chapter, currently they're not.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/07/10 11:53:50
AllSeeingSkink wrote: I love Space Wolves and have collected them long time, but I'd be happy to see Rune Priests turned in to more of an anti-psyker unit instead of what they are now. Maybe the exception being Njal.
I'd also be happy to have them drop a lot of the wolf wolfiness of wolfdom stuff and instead go to more of a viking theme. The wolf-ness should primarily be a reference to the nature of the chapter and more secretly the flaw in the geneseed, not them running around with the wolfness of wolfenstien.
Space Wolves could be such an awesomely written chapter, currently they're not.
Agree. Make them more Viking like. Hell, Skyrim is/was still popular, make them more like Nords and use that as their selling point, not wolves everywhere. I mean, you don't see Raven Guard riding giant ravens (although that'd be cool :p)
I love the idea of the Space Wolves. I love the background and fluff. What I don't like is some of their rules.
Their Devastators get 5 Heavies because.....Space Wolves.
They get 4 HQs because....Space Wolves.
I think the whole "Space Marines +1" thing leads to resentment. I don't mind chapters getting unique things, but when it's over the top for no reason it kinda grates on you.
"Holy Sh*&, you've opened my eyes and changed my mind about this topic, thanks Dakka OT!"
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Even Bjorn doesn't agree with all the wolf-ness going on;
Spoiler:
Storytime with Bjorn the Fellhanded
The familiar hissing of servos being powered up after decades of idleness filled the echoing sarcophagus he was trying to rest in. As his senses engaged, once more allowing him to see and hear the outside world, the familiar chanting filled his near-dead ears once more.
"Ah, dammit", he thought, "it's that time of the century again".
The language of the Space Wolves' rune priests was a harsh, guttural dialect appropriate for harsh people with excesses of phlegm, and if this lot were like the last lot, that was an accurate description.
Oh well, time to put on the show.
He cleared his throat and prepared his deep, tired voice for use once more. After all, if he made it seem like he was slowly losing his grip on reality, they might let him sleep longer.
"WHO AWAKENS BJORN?" he spoke into the microphone, letting the vox casters on the Dreadnought echo it out into the surrounding room. He could already see who was awakening him - the little gimp with the wolf-pubes for a beard - but he had to follow the ritual, make it look all authentic or they would start asking questions.
"Oh mighty Bjorn, the Fell-Handed-" ahh gak, he hated that nickname, "we awaken thee to help us remember the past, the forgotten and the sacrificed, those who embody the spirit of the Wolf."
Spirit of the Wolf? That bollocks was new. Normally they went on about the spirit of the warrior and gak.
"YOU WISH TO HEAR THE TALES AGAIN, DO YOU?" he recited, having said this gak at least half a dozen times in the past.
"Yes, oh Venerable one, please, tell us." The pube-faced-tard and the collection of ugly gaks behind him bowed in supplication. He really, REALLY hated having to tell all these tales. Imagine being asleep, and only being woken up every few hours to tell stories, then being put back to sleep. That was his fate, and he was starting to get sick of it. And they always wanted to hear about fething Leman Russ, too. Woe betide any fether stupid enough to ask about Leman Russ.
"FIND ME AN AUDIENCE OF LOYAL WARRIORS, STRONG AND TRUE, WHO MIGHT WISH TO HEAR THE TALES."
Gythor was excited. More than excited, he was ecstatic. He was still a Blood Claw, having not yet earned the opportunity to become a fully fledged Grey Hunter in glorious combat, but he was privileged to be one of those alive at the right time to hear the tales of Bjorn, the Fell-Handed. One of the oldest Space Marines still alive, one who saw the Emperor himself! He would hear the glorious tales spoken from the mans own lips - well, vox casters - of great legends that had been fading to the years.
While he waited he shared an ale with his packmates, but a hush settled over the crowd as the heavy footfalls of a Dreadnought could be heard approaching. All eyes turned towards the massive oak doors of the great hall as it approached, step after step, agonizingly slowly. Just when it sounded like it was right outside the noise stopped. Second after second ticked by, quiet having settled over the room like a blanket over a frightened child. First it was seconds, then it stretched into minutes. Finally a voice down the back of the room spoke up.
"Do we... open the door for him, or someth-" He was interrupted by the door of the great hall, which had stood for a millennia, essentially exploding inwards, shattering into a thousand pieces and flinging themselves at the assembled Space Wolves. The Blood Claws near the door found themselves with cuts from flying wood all over their faces, one collapsing to the ground with a shard of wood the size of his fist embedded in his eye.
"Lucky fether," thought Gythor, "he's going to get SUCH a fething cool scar."
"I AM HERE" spoke Bjorn, the words echoing out through the great hall, emerging lifelessly from the vox caster mounted on the Dreadnought. A great cheer rose from the masses of Space Wolves, before they chanted their traditional song of joy, repeating the word 'Wolf' at varying pitches in an almost orchestral sounding song. For a second Gythor thought he heard the vox casters on the Dreadnought mutter 'what the fu-', but he knew such a thing could not be right. Bjorns voice was as powerful as thunder, a mech like that did not mumble.
The Space Wolves cleared the path for the enormous, venerable Dreadnought to pace down the length of the enormous hall, his pounding footsteps knocking aside ale tankards within a few meters of him as he passed.
Gythor held his breath in excitement as the Dreadnought reached the head of the hall and turned to face the assembled masses.
"TELL ME, OF WHICH STORY DO YOU WISH TO HEAR?" boomed his dead, powerful voice. A thousand responses rose at once, Wolves shouting their answers all together.
The high rune priest, who had followed along behind Bjorn without even being noticed, held his hand out for silence. "Brothers, please! You, Grey-Hunter Rynold, you may ask first." The marine singled out rose from his seat, helmet clutched under his arm with pride.
"Noble Bjorn the Fell-handed-" an echoed grunt of annoyance echoed around the hall, but no one seemed to notice, "-tell us more of our glorious founder, tell us of the greatness of Leman Russ himself!" Rynold thrust his free hand into the air as if he had achieved some glorious victory in asking his question. From the cheers of agreement of his fellow marines, many felt he had. As the cheers died off, it took a few seconds to realize Bjorn was silent. He had not yet answered.
The high Rune priest cleared his throat once. "Uh, mighty Bjorn, do you need the question repea-"
"YOU ladies men" bellowed the noble dreadnought. Silence answered his words, until a few of the long fangs near the front of the hall started chuckling, obviously thinking it was a joke. "DON'T fething LAUGH. DO I SOUND LIKE I'M MAKING A JOKE?!" Again, silence answered his words. "SERIOUSLY, I'M WOKEN UP ONCE A fething HUNDRED YEARS TO TELL YOU fethers OF THE PAST, AND EACH TIME I SEE YOU, YOU'VE fethed OVER HISTORY EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS BEFORE!! LEMAN RUSS WAS AN donkey-cave!"
Again, silence. The Rune Priest cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should allow noble Dreadnought Bjorn some more rest, shall w-"
"NO, ENOUGH fething REST. YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HEAR ABOUT WHY LEMAN RUSS WAS A fething DICK. SERIOUSLY. A DICK. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M CALLED 'THE FELL-HANDED'? HUH? DO YA'? THE fether CAUGHT ME JERKING OFF BEHIND A BIG ROCK ONE NIGHT ABOUT TWENTY METERS FROM THE REST OF THE DETACHMENT! HE KICKED THE ROCK AWAY AND SHOUTED, 'LO, IT SEEMS HE IS BESTING A MIGHTY FELL-BEAST WITH ONLY HIS HAND!"
Again, silence. This time broken by a slight snickering from some of the younger Blood Claws.
"I fething HEARD THAT, YOU witches. YOU fething WOLF fethers. YEAH, DON'T THINK I DON'T NOTICE YOUR GROWING OBSESSION WITH WOLVES. SERIOUSLY, WHEN I WAS AROUND WE WERE JUST CRAZY fethers WHO RIPPED OUT OUR ENEMIE'S THROATS WITH OUR TEETH. NOW YOU'RE fething RIDING WOLVES INTO BATTLE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU CAN RIDE INTO BATTLE? fething BIKES! MAYBE EVEN A fething BIKE THAT HAS GUNS ATTACHED!"
Silence dominated the room in between Bjorn's words. A few of the Wolf-riders cleared their throats nervously and patted their wolf companions, all of whom had a thousand yard stare and the haunted look of molestation victims.
"YOU fethers THINK YOU KNOW LEMAN RUSS? THE GUY WAS A DOUCHE. HIS STRATEGIES WERE 'YEAH, YOU GUYS GO CHARGE THE ENEMY, I'LL SECURE THIS SHACK WITH THESE BITCHES', AND HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT FEMALE WOLVES."
The high rune priest held his head in his armoured hands for a second, before standing up once more. "Mighty Bjorn, perhaps we shou-"
"HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WOMEN. YOU KNOW WHY HE HATED... WHAT'S HIS NAME, THE RED GUY. THAT GEEK, WHAT WAS HIS NAME AGAIN?"
The Rune Priest, now resigned to this being the second worst Bjorn story-time ever, answered, "He was Magnus The Red, mighty Bjorn."
"YEAH, fething MAGNUS, HE WAS A DECENT MAN. HE AND LEMAN HATED EACH OTHER BECAUSE MAGNUS ENJOYED BOOKS. YEAH, THAT'S IT. FIRST TIME THEY EVER MET HE WAS READING A BOOK, LEMAN WALKED IN AND SHOUTED 'HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER PRIMARCH, ALL I SEE IS A BOOK-READING PUSSY'. THEN HELD HIS HAND OUT TO BE BRO-FISTED. NO ONE DID, SO HE SUCKER-PUNCHED MAGNUS TO LOOK TOUGH."
Again, only silence, this time broken by the sound of an ale tankard being dropped from numb fingers.
"YEAH, THE GUY WAS A witch. WHEN THEY SHOWED HIM THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE LEMAN RUSS TANK, YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID? HE SAID 'MAKE THE CANNON BIGGER... LIKE MY COCK!' HE DEMANDED THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE PREMIERE TANK OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD BE ALTERED PURELY SO HE COULD MAKE A DICK JOKE!"
The servos of Bjorn's mighty armoured sarcophagus whirred into life as he suddenly started forward, his pounding feet bringing him back towards the door he burst in from. He did not stop as he crushed his way through a two-millennia-old table, and Space Wolves scattered out of his way with each thudding footstep. The entire assembled chapter watched in amazement as the Dreadnought sulked off, stopping only at the door to turn and speak once.
"IF YOU fethers WAKE ME AGAIN, IT BETTER BE TO KILL SOMETHING OR ASK ABOUT ACTUAL HEROES, NOT BITCH-STEALING donkey-caves." And with that, Bjorn walked away, followed by hastily running Rune Priests.
Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress 
7000 
/ 
1690
WIP (1875)
1300
760
WIP (350)
WIP (150) 
1500pts
1000pts
