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The person in me is happy at the thought of never wielding a weapon so insanely dangerous to myself.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/07/07 20:21:09
Prestor Jon wrote: Because children don't have any legal rights until they're adults. A minor is the responsiblity of the parent and has no legal rights except through his/her legal guardian or parent.
You have a light sabre, I would like the Star Destroyer.
n'oublie jamais - It appears I now have to highlight this again.
It is by tea alone I set my mind in motion. By the juice of the brew my thoughts aquire speed, my mind becomes strained, the strain becomes a warning. It is by tea alone I set my mind in motion.
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — A top secret weapons development program has been scrapped after countless allegations of misconduct and numerous injuries were sustained by soldiers and Marines in Afghanistan, Duffel Blog has learned.
Dubbed “The Lightsaber,” the weapon (nomenclature MR2D2) was a near perfect imitation of those carried by Jedi Knights in the iconic Star Wars movies.
“Even with having the most professional military in the world,” said Pentagon spokesman George Little, “we did not anticipate the unintended consequences. Apparently, when you give soldiers a weapon they’ve dreamed about their entire lives, their intelligence drops to the level of a slowed monkey.”
While the original intent behind the program was to provide a new, stealthy device for entry into suspected insurgent hideouts, the program quickly descended into chaos when infantry and special operations units were given lightsabers to test on the battlefield.
Less than 30 minutes after being issued the new weapon, one soldier severed his hand reenacting the infamous “Star Wars kid” YouTube video. Another had his confiscated for sketching sexually explicit images on the side of concrete bunkers and two Marines were arrested for poking lightsaber peep holes into female showers.
“What were they thinking?” said Capt. John Douglas. “My infantry company is now at 50 percent strength. Every single one of my soldiers took a brain dump. Even my first sergeant, who’s a huge Star Wars and 2Pac fan, wanted me to brand his arm with ‘Jedi 4 life.’”
While most incidents have not been officially reported as officers scramble to salvage their careers, rumors have circulated to the most egregious uses by service members.
One special forces soldier was caught trimming his beard, a group of soldiers held a lightsaber jousting tournament using donkeys and a Marine was flown to Germany for surgery after joking to a female, “is that a lightsaber in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?”
Despite being carried on numerous missions, the lightsaber was never once used for its intended purpose. Allegations of detainee abuse have surfaced after special forces raided a suspected IED bomb makers house and threatened to ‘Dooku his ass.’
The test program — which was supposed to last three months — was pulled less than 36 hours later. The final nail in the coffin came when Private Derrick Jones asked a seemingly innocent question.
“Dude,” said Jones. “Do you think I could block a bullet?”
Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
No longer defending the US Military or US Gov't. Just going to ""**feed into your fears**"" with Duffel Blog Did not fight my way up on top the food chain to become a Vegan...
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Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend
DE 6700
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Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — A top secret weapons development program has been scrapped after countless allegations of misconduct and numerous injuries were sustained by soldiers and Marines in Afghanistan, Duffel Blog has learned.
Dubbed “The Lightsaber,” the weapon (nomenclature MR2D2) was a near perfect imitation of those carried by Jedi Knights in the iconic Star Wars movies.
“Even with having the most professional military in the world,” said Pentagon spokesman George Little, “we did not anticipate the unintended consequences. Apparently, when you give soldiers a weapon they’ve dreamed about their entire lives, their intelligence drops to the level of a slowed monkey.”
While the original intent behind the program was to provide a new, stealthy device for entry into suspected insurgent hideouts, the program quickly descended into chaos when infantry and special operations units were given lightsabers to test on the battlefield.
Less than 30 minutes after being issued the new weapon, one soldier severed his hand reenacting the infamous “Star Wars kid” YouTube video. Another had his confiscated for sketching sexually explicit images on the side of concrete bunkers and two Marines were arrested for poking lightsaber peep holes into female showers.
“What were they thinking?” said Capt. John Douglas. “My infantry company is now at 50 percent strength. Every single one of my soldiers took a brain dump. Even my first sergeant, who’s a huge Star Wars and 2Pac fan, wanted me to brand his arm with ‘Jedi 4 life.’”
While most incidents have not been officially reported as officers scramble to salvage their careers, rumors have circulated to the most egregious uses by service members.
One special forces soldier was caught trimming his beard, a group of soldiers held a lightsaber jousting tournament using donkeys and a Marine was flown to Germany for surgery after joking to a female, “is that a lightsaber in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?”
Despite being carried on numerous missions, the lightsaber was never once used for its intended purpose. Allegations of detainee abuse have surfaced after special forces raided a suspected IED bomb makers house and threatened to ‘Dooku his ass.’
The test program — which was supposed to last three months — was pulled less than 36 hours later. The final nail in the coffin came when Private Derrick Jones asked a seemingly innocent question.
“Dude,” said Jones. “Do you think I could block a bullet?”
There are not enough exalts on Dakka for this awesomeness!
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — A top secret weapons development program has been scrapped after countless allegations of misconduct and numerous injuries were sustained by soldiers and Marines in Afghanistan, Duffel Blog has learned.
Dubbed “The Lightsaber,” the weapon (nomenclature MR2D2) was a near perfect imitation of those carried by Jedi Knights in the iconic Star Wars movies.
“Even with having the most professional military in the world,” said Pentagon spokesman George Little, “we did not anticipate the unintended consequences. Apparently, when you give soldiers a weapon they’ve dreamed about their entire lives, their intelligence drops to the level of a slowed monkey.”
While the original intent behind the program was to provide a new, stealthy device for entry into suspected insurgent hideouts, the program quickly descended into chaos when infantry and special operations units were given lightsabers to test on the battlefield.
Less than 30 minutes after being issued the new weapon, one soldier severed his hand reenacting the infamous “Star Wars kid” YouTube video. Another had his confiscated for sketching sexually explicit images on the side of concrete bunkers and two Marines were arrested for poking lightsaber peep holes into female showers.
“What were they thinking?” said Capt. John Douglas. “My infantry company is now at 50 percent strength. Every single one of my soldiers took a brain dump. Even my first sergeant, who’s a huge Star Wars and 2Pac fan, wanted me to brand his arm with ‘Jedi 4 life.’”
While most incidents have not been officially reported as officers scramble to salvage their careers, rumors have circulated to the most egregious uses by service members.
One special forces soldier was caught trimming his beard, a group of soldiers held a lightsaber jousting tournament using donkeys and a Marine was flown to Germany for surgery after joking to a female, “is that a lightsaber in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?”
Despite being carried on numerous missions, the lightsaber was never once used for its intended purpose. Allegations of detainee abuse have surfaced after special forces raided a suspected IED bomb makers house and threatened to ‘Dooku his ass.’
The test program — which was supposed to last three months — was pulled less than 36 hours later. The final nail in the coffin came when Private Derrick Jones asked a seemingly innocent question.
“Dude,” said Jones. “Do you think I could block a bullet?”
That made my day. I can't stop laughing right now!
See, you're trying to use people logic. DM uses Mandelogic, which we've established has 2+2=quack. - Aerethan
Putin.....would make a Vulcan Intelligence officer cry. - Jihadin
AFAIK, there is only one world, and it is the real world. - Iron_Captain
DakkaRank Comment: I sound like a Power Ranger.
TFOL and proud. Also a Forge World Fan.
I should really paint some of my models instead of browsing forums.
)
