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So after several years of soaking in the dark waters of the W40K universe I've finally decided i'm going to write a novel set in it. This isn't going to be some trashy Eldar romance novel or a boring short story about the Ultramarines rubbing one another with hot wax. NO! I'm talking an exciting full scale novel with interesting situations that wouldn't stand out in a codex!
However, in my pre-story fervor I have run into a bit of a wall. While I was sitting around with my note pad I came up with two very interesting plots and I couldn't think of a way to combine them. So I'll let you guys vote on what you'll want to read.
I will be updating a thread with new chapters every 2-3 days.

So would you rather read:

Option A-
A bold rogue trader (who comes from a very powerful Dynasty) gets a message from the inquisition as he passes through the edge of the Ghoul Stars. A planet was recently ravaged by the forces of chaos in the galactic south and the Inquisition has reason to believe a survivor that fled the planet is linked to Chaos and traded information that allowed them to bypass the entirety of the planet's defenses. Since the Rogue trader has a regiment of fifty space Marines and a vast amount of money and resources he is given a contract to hunt the traitor down. Despite wanting to stay out of politics the Rogue Trader takes the contract as the pay is so substantial. Without spoiling the plot, the rogue trader travels around the galaxy to hunt this man down and soon it becomes a personal goal. The mission takes him through the seedy underbellies of several hive cities, a lavish upper-class villa, a big-game hunting planet, and an ocean planet filled with whales.
The Rogue trader is joined in his adventures by an Eldar concubine, the captain to his celtic-themed chapter of space marines, his sister at one point, the traitor, and a mysterious vessel that somehow keeps tailing him.

Option B-
During a heated charge a young soldier's leading Commissar is shot down after giving a thrilling speech. To keep her regiment from fleeing and possibly being blamed for losing a Manufactorum she grabs a banner and continues the charge, leading her fellow soldiers with valor she didn't know she had. The charge is ultimately successful and her leadership qualities are noticed by a Lord Commissar, who in turn forces her to take the plunge into Commissar-ship. She is given a test with two other potential leaders.
She and a hand-picked squad, armed with one Chimera and any weapons they choose, are sealed within a massive temple on her home planet. The temple was sealed off hundreds of years ago after a portal was opened in its hallowed halls and an incursion of daemons tried to take it over. Though the daemons were slaughtered by the space marines stationed on the planet, the chaos portal could not be closed. Thus the temple was sealed off with massive impenetrable doors. Recently the readings from within the temple disappeared. The young woman and her squad, accompanied by two others, are sent into the temple with enough supplies to last them several weeks. They are told the massive gates will be unsealed after two weeks. If they are not there they will be left inside.
Thus begins the woman's test. Without spoiling the plot the young woman and her squad, as well as the two others, are plunged into total darkness for two weeks as they search for signs of chaos inside and are plagued by... Something.

--

Both stories will be violent and grimdark, as everything is in the 40K universe, and will be updated every 2-3 days. Cast your votes, or ask questions below.

I really like plot B. I like squads and the stress of everybody showing.

I like Plot B way more. Hidden temple, chaos portals, an emerging hero. It just sounds way more interesting and engaging than a boring trip through space

 jreilly89 wrote:
I like Plot B way more. Hidden temple, chaos portals, an emerging hero. It just sounds way more interesting and engaging than a boring trip through space

I wouldn't say boring. Surely there will be secrets within these hive cities yes? Maybe some sort of cult.

B. A sounds a lot like the existing inquisitor novels. I don't know how many times i've started writing 40k novels only to lose interest after a few chapters, my hat goes off to you sir

pax_imperialis wrote:
B. A sounds a lot like the existing inquisitor novels. I don't know how many times i've started writing 40k novels only to lose interest after a few chapters, my hat goes off to you sir

Well make sure you vote bud, because A is currently winning.

Both have their merits, and some bits I'd like to see changed.

A has great potential for change in scope and setting, you could be in the warrens of an underhive one chapter and ducking and diving through an active warzone the next. It would allow you to show off the varied nature of 40k very well. The only risk would be potential inconsistencies in tone and style when the setting changes, but if you keep it focused on just a few characters this wouldn't be an issue.

My only queries on that are (and I'm largely playing devil's advocate here)

- Do RTs get Space Marines on permanent loan? I think it would be easier to justify to say he has a household guard that is supplemented by Inquisitions loaned SM. This would also create some tension as the SM commander is constantly reporting back to the Inquisitor, cutting into the freedom the RT usually enjoys.

- Why aren't the Inquisition going after this guy themselves if he's so dangerous? They'd have more resources and manpower. However, it could certainly work if, somehow, the RT was revealed to just be set up as a pawn while the Inquisitor pulls strings (and not just his) from behind the scene....


B looks interesting two, I like the idea of a sudden battlefield promotion to Commissar (not sure that's standard procedure but desperate times and ask that) that could lead to trouble as her own faith in the Emperor is tested as she tries to inspire it in those around her. The bit I don't like there is what comes next. I think it would work far better with her just going forward into battle and struggling with the responsibility and power than to use the temple situation. The whole thing of being shut in with no way out just strikes me as a little clichéd and forced, whereas a Guardsman/woman in middle of a war is a far more natural setting to me. That's not suggesting it should all be guns and explosions, but I feel having her as part of a moving, fighting army would leave a lot more room for character development, which I think will let the plot write itself if done well. I also reckon that a planet with a known open Warp Gate would be probably nuked from space, just to be sure.

I'll be sure to take a look at whatever you come up with, though.

 Paradigm wrote:
Both have their merits, and some bits I'd like to see changed.

A has great potential for change in scope and setting, you could be in the warrens of an underhive one chapter and ducking and diving through an active warzone the next. It would allow you to show off the varied nature of 40k very well. The only risk would be potential inconsistencies in tone and style when the setting changes, but if you keep it focused on just a few characters this wouldn't be an issue.

My only queries on that are (and I'm largely playing devil's advocate here)

- Do RTs get Space Marines on permanent loan? I think it would be easier to justify to say he has a household guard that is supplemented by Inquisitions loaned SM. This would also create some tension as the SM commander is constantly reporting back to the Inquisitor, cutting into the freedom the RT usually enjoys.

- Why aren't the Inquisition going after this guy themselves if he's so dangerous? They'd have more resources and manpower. However, it could certainly work if, somehow, the RT was revealed to just be set up as a pawn while the Inquisitor pulls strings (and not just his) from behind the scene....


B looks interesting two, I like the idea of a sudden battlefield promotion to Commissar (not sure that's standard procedure but desperate times and ask that) that could lead to trouble as her own faith in the Emperor is tested as she tries to inspire it in those around her. The bit I don't like there is what comes next. I think it would work far better with her just going forward into battle and struggling with the responsibility and power than to use the temple situation. The whole thing of being shut in with no way out just strikes me as a little clichéd and forced, whereas a Guardsman/woman in middle of a war is a far more natural setting to me. That's not suggesting it should all be guns and explosions, but I feel having her as part of a moving, fighting army would leave a lot more room for character development, which I think will let the plot write itself if done well. I also reckon that a planet with a known open Warp Gate would be probably nuked from space, just to be sure.

I'll be sure to take a look at whatever you come up with, though.

You make some good points, let me clear some things up for you though.
Story A will have a lot of sudden setting changes as the RT gets increasingly more frustrated hunting this one man who seems to slide right out of his grasp.
About the space marines; it says in the Lexicanum that "A Rogue Trader is a combination of freelance explorer, conquistador and merchant. They are Imperial servants, given a ship, a crew, a contingent of marines or Guardsmen and carte blanche to roam the worlds beyond Imperial control." so I'm assuming that SMs given to a Rogue trader are different to SMs trained on a battle planet. I'd imagine they're specially trained and taught that the RT is a tool of the Emperor and all that and they need to help him no matter what.
And, as I see it at least in ma' noggin', the Inquisition could easily send out a convoy to go grab this guy. But he's a high flight risk right? So what if he's already gone by the time they show up. Surely it'd be better to send a well armed, albeit greedy, RT (who's in the same general sector) after this guy rather than have to spend their own resources and man power.

About part two, Nah it's not proper procedure. But they just lost a commissar and another took his place like that, so why fight it. (don't tell the inquisition )
And I've been reading some short stories about Space Hulks and I want to try and capture that 'Trapped in a tiny place with something that might kill me' feeling. Also the warp gate actually coincides with my chapter history. Basically my chapter-master has had experience with the warp and if a warp gate just 'happened' to open where this guy was then the inquisition would get all gruffy about it... So he knew he could handle it, and simply closed it off and didn't tell the inquisition. He's a very naught Chapter Master.

Fair enough. I wasn't trying to pick holes, just checking you'd thought it through, which it looks like you have! I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

 Paradigm wrote:
Fair enough. I wasn't trying to pick holes, just checking you'd thought it through, which it looks like you have! I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

Oh I wasn't being snippy friend, I just like talking about my ideas.

I thought marine meant like navy marines. Likes UNSC from Halo. Not like Spartans. More like Imperial guard suited for space combat and boarding actions rather than 50 giant hulking space marines.

I voted B. A sounds good too though. Can I just have both? A sounds like it will have lots of characters and settings and story elements and could potentially spawn an exciting swashbuckling renegade pirate with a grudge hunting down his nemesis with an Eldar wench in one arm and his trusty bolt pistol in the other.

Buuuuuuut... Option B is much more 40k with the exception of the "test of heroism" plot bunny. I know, I know. It's fun and I really really hate to tell you not to chase the plot bunny, but stick to the "stuck in a shaft, and there's something down here with us" theme.

Strand them somewhere they weren't intending to go (maybe getting lost on the trip to a new battlefield after being forcibly reassigned somewhere "her leadership skills could be much more useful" which would really be the IG "rewarding" her heroism by sending her somewhere she cant do anything that "stupid" again which is really the IG/Imperial way and much more grimdark) with limited supplies, maybe a few special weapons, or "give" and "take" special weapons as the story progresses.

They get a message out calling for aid, rescue, whatever, they get confirmation but it shorts out before they know when they'll receive help (this leaves it much more open ended) you can use whatever monster you like. Warp Portal/rip in reality is good. Infestations are good. Mysterious cloaked ninja figures are good. Just keep it secret for a while, lots of build up. Suspense. Have squad members disappear or be found brutally killed with no evidence of the killer. Split the squad up to accomplish objectives and then have them picked off while they desperately try to return fire. You might even include monsters and ninjas in an Alien Versus Predator esque shootout with the poor marines (impy guard) caught in the middle.

Include a subordinate that's competing with her for dominance of her squad. Leaving your main character and this foil as the last two alive and forcing them to be begrudging allies is a good trope and a solid way to start a strong relationship/friendship. Or you can just kill him. Either by the main characters hand for a more chaotic/get the job done type leader or being dragged out of the room and barely misses grabbing his hand to save him, to develop a more altruistic/no man left behind type leader.

Also, the lone survivor/back to back against the world/all my friends are dead, last stand against the oncoming horde, when the locked door opens, and reinforcements arrive/ riders of rohan charge the Orcs at Helm's Deep/barely escape trope, though overdone, is actually really epic and leaves your main character, huffing, puffing, mentally/emotionally/physically scarred but still intact for maybe a sequel?

Develop your characters by honing them against the knife's edge rather then setting them a test to take or a mission to accomplish. Write about how they would react, in real life threatening, uncontrollable circumstances, rather than artificially creating them.

Even in the Ultramarines novels (actually liked these, the ones with Uriel Ventris) when they were set on a quest, they really had no idea what they were supposed to be doing. No clear goal. Just a direction for the story to go and balls of steel to keep them going. Gives you leeway to add twists. Plot A is a little better about this. Chasing ghosts rather than sleeping in a haunted house for 2 weeks.

To simplify: make it darker and use more liberty in your writing. Obviously I haven't seen you write yet, but you've set very specific rules for yourself (certain characters, certain timeframe, certain settings) when they really should be more like guidelines

My 2 cents. Feel free to disregard everything I said. I have no real credentials to back up my suggestions. These are just things that *I* would want to read, which is, after all, the topic of this discussion.

I voted B, because i think A will be very hard to get right while B is starting in a good place and can only get better. I mean there are three types of 40K fiction that i've read; Bolter Porn, Character Driven (Ala Eisenhorn) or setting driven (Ala Dark/Eldar Path Books). Character Driven ones are the hardest because you need to get people invested into the character, Bolter Porn is the easiest but gets boring, setting driven is the most successful because you can have several interesting characters in an interesting place doing interesting things, not necessarily shooting things with bolt guns.

I think Option B fits perfectly into the setting driven catagory, and when reading a Fanfiction (not a demeaning term. Look up Lord Lucans Warhammer 60k and you will understand the cream of Fanfiction) that is exactly what you should be going for.

Option A, not saying it's better, but it does play to a nostalgic beat. Reminds me of Firefly or Farscape... How I miss you Dominar Rygel the 16th.

 Taserdus Marg wrote:

 jreilly89 wrote:
I like Plot B way more. Hidden temple, chaos portals, an emerging hero. It just sounds way more interesting and engaging than a boring trip through space

I wouldn't say boring. Surely there will be secrets within these hive cities yes? Maybe some sort of cult.

True. I guess its more just the idea of fighting to stay alive against an unknown force with limited resources appeals to me, a la Resident Evil

THREAD NOW CLOSED, I'VE BEGUN CHAPTER ONE.