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2015/02/03 14:53:25
Subject: Re:Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
AnomanderRake wrote: A number of Primary Detachments consisting of ML3 Tzeentch Heralds and twenty-man Pink Horror blobs, plus Be'lakor and a couple of Daemon Princes. Thirty-minute Psychic phases.
To hell with the psychic phase, when does turn 1 start? Holy gak.
Here's one from 1d4chan. It's called; "Why? Because I'm Khorne AND YOU!
Kharn the Betrayer (what a swell guy) leads nothing but Chainaxe Berzerkers with the Icon of Vengeance and Khornate Cultist tarpits join the Blood Buddy Brigade. Army-wide charge anyone?
FTW
2015/02/04 07:55:59
Subject: Re:Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
skarnalaxwarlord wrote: Here's one from 1d4chan. It's called; "Why? Because I'm Khorne AND YOU!
Kharn the Betrayer (what a swell guy) leads nothing but Chainaxe Berzerkers with the Icon of Vengeance and Khornate Cultist tarpits join the Blood Buddy Brigade. Army-wide charge anyone?
I'm imagining World War Z with guys just swarming on top of each other and using bodies to climb barricades. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Show up with above list and apologize for not having 2000 points because this was all you had, but insist you can play anyway. Insist it'd be fun to try cross-game play between X Wing and 40k.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/02/04 08:17:20
Edit: Nevermind, Grots work better for the "annoyingly slow game" thing.
Hmm...
Nope, I got nothing. The only thing I could think of was essentially becoming a GUO. If you've ever wondered how those guys can tolerate their own stench, I know from first-hand experience that you stop noticing your own odor after the first month or so. If you were wondering how I could tolerate not bathing for 3-4 months at a time and changing clothes on a monthly basis, well, let's just say that schizophrenia messes up your brain so bad you don't even know you're sick.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2015/02/15 10:05:13
2015/02/15 11:22:19
Subject: Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
Turn up with no list write your list in front of them using a troop choice from every codex then walk around asking everyone to borrow their codex because you didn't bring any of your own. While waiting for the nicer people to help you out touch their models while they help. when setting up cry out "oh i forgot this army!" then beg them to let you do counts as or you will have to write a whole new list. the final part once set up fake a call from your partner/mother/sister/doctor and tell your opponent "to hurry the hell up because I have to go in 30 mins"
A haiku, by Deadpool: I hate broccoli / And think it totally sucks / Why is it not meat?
2015/02/15 16:14:12
Subject: Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
Henchman warband:
2 Acolytes
1 Jokaero
43 Points each. Unbound at 2000 points you have space for 46 units. This does two things. First, you must roll and track inconceivable customization 46 times. Second it's MSU from hell. Your opponent has to eliminate a 138-man army three men at a time while they shoot back with a few dozen lascannons.
Agitator noster fulminis percussus est
2015/02/15 18:23:05
Subject: Re:Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
Necron Decurion, Reclamation Legion:
Nemesor Zahndrekh
1 unit of 5 Immortals
1 unit of Tomb Blades with about 20pt of the upgrades of your choice
8 units of Warriors, 16 or 17 in each (depending on the math)
And just play a game of "How Many Necrons Warrors Can You Kill?" 4+ Reanimation Protocols, rerolling 1s when within 12" of Zahndrekh. Starting on Turn 2 you can choose the Warlord trait you feel is most effective that turn (the two traits that reroll 1s in shooting or assault within 12" of Zahndrekh can be fun). If someone doesn't know they're about to face down 130 Necron Warriors, it could be fun.
I think I may actually have enough Warriors (mine are the original 2E metals) to do it, too.
"Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see.
One chants out between two worlds: Fire, walk with me." - Twin Peaks
"You listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is that I am a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence. I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method... is love. I love you Sheriff Truman." - Twin Peaks
2015/02/15 19:41:18
Subject: Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
I think chaos can do the rhino swarm better than any other army. 40 something rhinos with destroyer blades and the twin linked missile launcher. Maybe warp flame gargs for soul blaze on the shooting.
40+ x-link str5 small blasts
each can tank shock dealing d6 str5 hits or 2d6 if they death or glory.
Same idea as the other rhino swarm but you can deal damage.
Or maybe 11 demolishers and an exterminator is 2000 points.
Bring 20 dice. Go first. Fire 1056 shots at anything within 36". Insist on rolling all of your to hits and to wound before they can make saves.
Suddenly I'm thinking of that Internet meme, "I'ma Firin' Mah Lazor!"
Better still, bring 1056 dice and try to roll them all at once. Bonus points for every enemy model knocked over or swept off the table by the cubic tide.
"The 75mm gun is firing. The 37mm gun is firing, but is traversed round the wrong way. The Browning is jammed. I am saying "Driver, advance." and the driver, who can't hear me, is reversing. And as I look over the top of the turret and see twelve enemy tanks fifty yards away, someone hands me a cheese sandwich."
2015/02/16 14:21:26
Subject: Re:Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
That's 385 Guardsmen. Drown your enemies in the light of the Emperor. Insist you individually measure out each Guardsman's movement and take an hour to resolve your movement phase. Then just run them every shooting phase. Your opponent will get tired and leave before long making you winnar.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/02/16 16:30:53
Thought for the day: Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
30k Ultramarines: 2000 pts
Bolt Action Germans: ~1200 pts
AOS Stormcast: Just starting.
The Empire : ~60-70 models.
1500 pts
: My Salamanders painting blog 16 Infantry and 2 Vehicles done so far!
2015/02/17 00:11:13
Subject: Re:Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
That's 385 Guardsmen. Drown your enemies in the light of the Emperor. Insist you individually measure out each Guardsman's movement and take an hour to resolve your movement phase. Then just run them every shooting phase. Your opponent will get tired and leave before long making you winnar.
You guys have it all wrong. Here are 6 ways to guarantee that a person will never play with you again:
1. Pick any army with 100+ models. Take an hour deploying them, shake your head, and say, "I don't think I can win. I concede."
2. Spend 45 minutes arguing with your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband about how you'll be home in just 45 minutes. Then shake your head and say, "I gotta go, sorry."
3. Smash the table really hard with your fist in excitement and knock over all 7 of their Flyrants.
4. Trip and spill your Strawberry Slurpee all over their painted Sector Imperialis board and 15 buildings.
5. Trip and spill your Coke Slurpee all over that 200 hour Thunderhawk.
6. Conversationally mention that you're a JW and that the world will end much earlier than 40,000 from now. Then hand over a copy of the latest Watchtower and ask them if they would like to survive the real End Times.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/02/17 00:51:11
2015/02/17 03:19:38
Subject: Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
Talys wrote: You guys have it all wrong. Here are 6 ways to guarantee that a person will never play with you again:
1. Pick any army with 100+ models. Take an hour deploying them, shake your head, and say, "I don't think I can win. I concede."
2. Spend 45 minutes arguing with your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband about how you'll be home in just 45 minutes. Then shake your head and say, "I gotta go, sorry."
3. Smash the table really hard with your fist in excitement and knock over all 7 of their Flyrants.
4. Trip and spill your Strawberry Slurpee all over their painted Sector Imperialis board and 15 buildings.
5. Trip and spill your Coke Slurpee all over that 200 hour Thunderhawk.
6. Conversationally mention that you're a JW and that the world will end much earlier than 40,000 from now. Then hand over a copy of the latest Watchtower and ask them if they would like to survive the real End Times.
Regarding number 6, I can foresee a future rule against proselytizing on gaming club/store grounds... Or would the catch-all of "No solicitors" fit?
2015/02/19 07:32:29
Subject: Re:Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
ML1 Librarian w/ teeth of terra, armour indomitus, primarch's wrath
10 Vanguard Vets w/ jump packs, lots of expensive CC weapons, but no storm shields
5 Terminators
10 Tactical Marines w/ 1 heavy bolter
10 CC Scouts
1 Land Speeder w/ heavy bolter
1 Attack Bike
10 Devastators w/ missile launchers, flakk missiles, power fist and plasma pistol on the sgt
Whirlwind
Land Raider
When you inevitably lose, rage quit and call everyone else beardy cheese-mongers who are ruining the game. Refer to your opponent's army as douchy netlist spam, even if it's a highlander list. Insist on looking up all the rules, including things like how far Wave Serpents can move in the movement phase, how the jink rule works, whether or not your Devastators have the interceptor special rule, etc. Always argue that your units have line of sight, even when they are in reserves. Sigh loudly every time you lose a model. Complain about the internet. Go on long rants about how the game is meant to be played. Refuse to accept how random rules work, and demand they instead be played how you think they should be played. Keep mentioning how things were different (and better) in 2nd edition. Always blame something (or someone) else for your lack of success.
That ought to do it.
Someone please explain this, I have a feeling I'd laugh pretty hard.
1: Spend the game bitching about their conversions, because everything should be in it's off the shelf form.
2: Complain about how their stand-in models from another company, even while looking cool for what they are standing in for, should not be allowed because they did not spend as much as you, which somehow makes their force illegitimate. Blatantly ignore their jab that you could have spent that little buying all your GW models off ebay.
3: Same as above, but have it be worse because you are completely ignorant that the models in question are actually GW models, it's just with that your 'vast years of experience', you don't recognize classic models because they came put when you were in grade school.
"By this point I'm convinced 100% that every single race in the 40k universe have somehow tapped into the ork ability to just have their tech work because they think it should."
2015/02/20 13:56:49
Subject: Re:Let's play a game.... "How to be a **** and Alienate people"
Grey Templar wrote: Unbound, 2000 pts. Put nothing but max Grot squads with Runtherds on the table. Put any that can't deploy into reserves. Run forward as much as possible. Your opponent will not be able to kill them all.
Also, pretend you have shaky hands syndrome and take forever moving them.
YOU!
FTW 
Necrons - 3000 pts
HH Imperial Militia/Cults - 1000 points Check out my P&M blog! (
Bretonnia - 4500 pts
~1.5k
The Empire 
1500 pts
: 
4/4/0 
