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Some of the older guys here might get a kick out of this. I think most posters on this site can appreciate some of these 'memories' whether similar ones were yours, witnessed or a friend's. Most of us, I'm willing to wager, have seen some kind of 'nerd rage' at a store, or a club, or even on-line (there are some real gems in the OT here from a few years back). Now that I've drifted away from the sci-fi/fantasy gaming into the historical stuff, I'm not on here so much. But, I love watching a flamewar and this article even makes reading them more enjoyable.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2014/05/formerly-butthurt-neckbeards-talk-about-the-moment-they-realized-they-were-that-guy/

I am not sure what was the aim of this thread, but I find it quite depressing and it makes me feel bad.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
I am not sure what was the aim of this thread, but I find it quite depressing and it makes me feel bad.

Yeah. I'm sure everyone goes through a period of being someone they didn't particularly like, they've just collected a bunch there that fit a theme/class of folks.

It's reminded me of guys I used to know. Used to. Unfortunately whilst they were busy being slide-whistles, I was merrily clueless as to what was going on, and just thought everyone I knew was really genuinely nice. Albeit some of them were a bit dorky/eccentric.
I say 'unfortunately', because I was so oblivious, I unwittingly wound up on the receiving end of "If I'm nice enough, they'll have no choice." mentality mentioned in the link, and I didn't realise it was happening. I thought I'd made a really good friend, who I could trust. From the get-go, I explained "thanks, but no thanks. I view you as family." and believed them when they said that was fine.

Yes, there are people truly that clueless out there. There's my period of regret/lesson learned.

Edit: This reads back incredibly snide. I'm actually genuinely sad that I didn't realise what was happening.

Ah yes, the socially awkward white male, the one stereotype it is still okay to stereotype. If only she had the courage to write about African-Americans who had the courage to pull up their pants so they could get a job.

It never ceases to amaze me how society shifts from hurtful stereotype to another as the acceptable object of ridicule.

Sgt_Scruffy wrote:
Ah yes, the socially awkward white male, the one stereotype it is still okay to stereotype. If only she had the courage to write about African-Americans who had the courage to pull up their pants so they could get a job.

It never ceases to amaze me how society shifts from hurtful stereotype to another as the acceptable object of ridicule.

I don't think this was meant to be hateful but rather about people having an honest reflection on themselves and trying to improve.

 Cheesecat wrote:

Sgt_Scruffy wrote:
Ah yes, the socially awkward white male, the one stereotype it is still okay to stereotype. If only she had the courage to write about African-Americans who had the courage to pull up their pants so they could get a job.

It never ceases to amaze me how society shifts from hurtful stereotype to another as the acceptable object of ridicule.

I don't think this was meant to be hateful but rather about people having an honest reflection on themselves and trying to improve.

I don't think so. I'm sure that was the original commenters' purpose, but the article seemed more like "haha anti-social white nerdy guys. Look how doofy they are!"

Some of the messages were semi-inspiring, but the overall theme felt rather insulting.

Sgt_Scruffy wrote:
Ah yes, the socially awkward white male, the one stereotype it is still okay to stereotype. If only she had the courage to write about African-Americans who had the courage to pull up their pants so they could get a job.

It never ceases to amaze me how society shifts from hurtful stereotype to another as the acceptable object of ridicule.

You are not helping. I mean, your message is depressing and it is making me feel bad again.

This is not what i would call "nostalgia". Embarrassment mixed with self loathing perhaps. Im sure the Germans have a word for it. But hey, its ok to poke fun at the socially awkward apparently. I hate our culture sometimes.

I just need to look at the "Related Articles" titles to realize that the site is absolute and horrid trash.

As we grow, we always are slightly embarrassed about aspects of what we used to be. If we weren't, then we'd still be that way, right?

I look back at my 15 year old, 21 year old, and 30 year old self, and to different degrees i'm different than i was at each stage. *shrug* That's normal. The people from that thread that are just mortified at what they used to be are either still very insecure, or honestly did go through a sea change in their lives. I used to Raid pretty hardcore in an MMO in my mid to late twenties. Had a girlfriend and a social life, and still managed to raid a few nights a week. *shrug* You can be into different types of games and still lead a normal healthy life.


I find it interesting that Gamers are a (less so these days... used to be worse) marginalized sub-culture that delights in nothing more than further sub-marginalizing itself (the second part is stronger than ever. Hell I think the more gaming goes "mainstream" as time marches on, the more we gamers love to sub-marginalize other gamers that don't participate in the hobby like we do).

"I quit playing WoW, so I got a girlfriend all of a sudden because of that!"

Yeah, sure.

Gamers are not exactly shining examples of an inclusive culture.

Never played WOW myself but have personally seen quiting WOW lead to people getting relationships and improving their life. For some that is an absolutely accurate ststement.

 thenoobbomb wrote:
"I quit playing WoW, so I got a girlfriend all of a sudden because of that!"

Yeah, sure.

You'd be surprised how many things can happen when you free up 16-24 hours in your day.

Exactly WoW for some has the same commitmentas a relationship. Which wouldn't make the two compatible unless the relationship is based in WoW.

The problem isn't WoW on its own, it's the time dedicated to it. Not only do you spend a lot of time on it, thus reducing the time you could spend on getting more confident and improving your social skills, but you also spend time on a thing that doesn't get you anywhere. Doing sports for 2 hours gets you fit, reading a book for 2 hours gives you a topic to talk about (that isn't stigmatized) etc. The same can be said about many things, especially on the internet. Like spending too much time on tumblr or 4chan.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

You are not helping. I mean, your message is depressing and it is making me feel bad again.

I'm sure there are plenty of other things for you to feel bad about. A random comment on an internet forum shouldn't be high on that list.

I'm pretty sure most people would love to go back in time and give their younger self a slap and some advice to boot, it's all apart of growing up.

 Bonegrinder wrote:
I'm pretty sure most people would love to go back in time and give their younger self a slap and some advice to boot, it's all apart of growing up.

Yeah, but part of growing up is not going "hey, look at that anti-social loser", which is what seemed to be the main point of this article. It wasn't really how to change yourself or anything, it was more of "look at this collection of dorks".

I didn't get that point at all. Seem to me a bunch of people reminiscing about by gone face palm worthy youth. The root causes for their own issues and what they discovered to be the solution.

Fact of the matter is most antisocial "dork" behavior is self inflicted and isn't a positive thing to reinforce to make teens feel superior about themselves. If you were offended all I can guess your either ashamed of who you are or have been. Instead of just learning from it an moving on.

 jreilly89 wrote:

 Bonegrinder wrote:
I'm pretty sure most people would love to go back in time and give their younger self a slap and some advice to boot, it's all apart of growing up.

Yeah, but part of growing up is not going "hey, look at that anti-social loser", which is what seemed to be the main point of this article. It wasn't really how to change yourself or anything, it was more of "look at this collection of dorks".

Part of growing up is learning to take hits and brush them off, ignoring non constructive criticism.

It seems that this article is more about people sharing their bad experiences and how a lot of it was down to their own attitude to life in general, having an open mind helped make things a little easier.

 Bonegrinder wrote:
I'm pretty sure most people would love to go back in time and give their younger self a slap and some advice to boot, it's all apart of growing up.

I know I would. I remember just about a year ago when I got really bummed out because it finally dawned upon me that, no matter what I do, I'll never invent a time machine, or it will kill me in the process of using it before I can do what I want with it, because the first thing I would have done was beat the living hell out of myself. That hasn't happened yet.

Seriously more bummed about that than I should have been.

 cincydooley wrote:
I'm sure there are plenty of other things for you to feel bad about.

Now that you mention it, yeah, I have a lot of other reasons to feel really bad. Thanks for reminding me about them.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

Now that you mention it, yeah, I have a lot of other reasons to feel really bad. Thanks for reminding me about them.

Heh. If you think that's something terrible, think of all the things you've done to feel bad about that you're not even aware enough to realize you've done.

 daedalus wrote:
[Heh. If you think that's something terrible, think of all the things you've done to feel bad about that you're not even aware enough to realize you've done.

I read that sentence three time and still did not understand it. I guess I was saved from a lot of feeling even worse.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 daedalus wrote:
[Heh. If you think that's something terrible, think of all the things you've done to feel bad about that you're not even aware enough to realize you've done.

I read that sentence three time and still did not understand it. I guess I was saved from a lot of feeling even worse.

He means imagine how often you have done something bad without realizing it. How much pain you have caused and not noticed?

I mean, who knows how many people have died as a result of you. For example deciding not to buy an item, that shopkeeper cant pay rent as a result, he kills himself, his family is in ruins and debt, their kids quit school to work early and pay off the debt, the cycle of poverty continues.

So instead of feeling depressed over what is likely fake internet stories which may or may not be true, get upset over something more worthy of sadness (which is what the original point was).

That's a bit hyperbolic, but it's the general idea. I was thinking people who you've unduly caused stress or anxiety or sadness, or someone who's life you've made worse or harder, even temporarily, without even trying or being aware you did.

 Swastakowey wrote:
He means imagine how often you have done something bad without realizing it. How much pain you have caused and not noticed?

I think I tend to notice when I do something bad. Because I spend a lot of time asking myself “Am I doing something bad and what should I do instead”.

 Swastakowey wrote:
So instead of feeling depressed over what is likely fake internet stories which may or may not be true, get upset over something more worthy of sadness (which is what the original point was).

I am not feeling bad about an internet story. I am feeling bad it reminds me about myself.

 BrotherGecko wrote:
I didn't get that point at all. Seem to me a bunch of people reminiscing about by gone face palm worthy youth. The root causes for their own issues and what they discovered to be the solution.

Fact of the matter is most antisocial "dork" behavior is self inflicted and isn't a positive thing to reinforce to make teens feel superior about themselves. If you were offended all I can guess your either ashamed of who you are or have been. Instead of just learning from it an moving on.

I'm not saying it should be reinforced, but in an age where self esteem in teens is already a problem, I think it's fair to get rid of the "neckbeard" stereotype. You can reminisce without calling yourself a "neckbeard" or "tipping your fedora". I'm just saying I think that stereotype has run its course and should be retired.

Pretty sure many bad moments as a teenager are not exclusive to neckbeards.
Just like how not growing out of awkward teenager behaviors can make acceptance challenging.
We learn, many times by the hard way, embarrassing but we grow because of it.
I think the article is not helpful for glib "magic solutions" that usually need more work than quitting WOW (but it is a good start!).

I did a lot of that stuff too and in no way do I feel bad about it. It happened and can't be fixed no point in worrying about it now. I'd rather make the mistakes I did an be the person I am now than not an be someone else.