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So my grandmother finally (after saying for 9 years that she wanted to die) kicked the bucket at the grande old age of 102 (whilst thinking the whole time she was 91) and I'm helping to organise part of the service.

Thing is it's music, I've never realised how hard this would be, you have to have exactly the right tone. I'm kinda having a vent, but any ideas of (not too happy and not too sad- that was the limitations i was given) I've settled one peice based on a song the old girl sung a LOT and I mean up to 3 times a visit. Any suggestions with something maybe instrumental ? The old girl wasn't very musical up until the last 10 years of her life so it's not like i can just pick her favourite songs.

I didn't know your grandmother, and I'm sorry for your loss.

MY funeral with have this on a constant loop.

 Bullockist wrote:
So my grandmother finally (after saying for 9 years that she wanted to die) kicked the bucket at the grande old age of 102 (whilst thinking the whole time she was 91) and I'm helping to organise part of the service.

Thing is it's music, I've never realised how hard this would be, you have to have exactly the right tone. I'm kinda having a vent, but any ideas of (not too happy and not too sad- that was the limitations i was given) I've settled one peice based on a song the old girl sung a LOT and I mean up to 3 times a visit. Any suggestions with something maybe instrumental ? The old girl wasn't very musical up until the last 10 years of her life so it's not like i can just pick her favourite songs.

Do you have this song you're talking about. There's an Apple App that helps identify songs. Also, ask your parents if they want a song.

Advice don't drag songs and such out me thinks, but wat do I know I heaved both of mine (parents) into a lake. Tonight you sleep with the fishes!

There is a lot of classical music out there that is pretty mellow.

I would talk to the funeral director about what do they normally play. Most funeral homes do 3 a day. They know their gak. Don't over think it and stress over it. Funerals are for the living to commiserate.

Unless you're playing Tupac, most people won't notice the music.

 Bullockist wrote:
So my grandmother finally (after saying for 9 years that she wanted to die) kicked the bucket at the grande old age of 102 (whilst thinking the whole time she was 91) and I'm helping to organise part of the service.

Thing is it's music, I've never realised how hard this would be, you have to have exactly the right tone. I'm kinda having a vent, but any ideas of (not too happy and not too sad- that was the limitations i was given) I've settled one peice based on a song the old girl sung a LOT and I mean up to 3 times a visit. Any suggestions with something maybe instrumental ? The old girl wasn't very musical up until the last 10 years of her life so it's not like i can just pick her favourite songs.

This is one of my favorite scenes from one of our favorite movies. It your grandmother had a good sense of humor, I think this a great thing. I love this scene.




My Grandmother has told me that, when she goes, she wants me to sing at her funeral. Don't know how easy that will be....

Ave Maria is a beautiful song

This thread will not end up well.

Personally, I'd go for something tasteful and classical. I'm a sucker for Moonlight Sonata, but that might be a little dark.

If you want to go with something more modern, but tasteful, perhaps something by Leonard Cohen, or something else that she likely would have listened to or enjoyed herself? I know you said that she wasn't very musical, but surely something of the period would be appropriate. Maybe do some research to see if there was a wedding song she requested or something when she was younger? The latter would be a particular poignant way of commemorating her life.

Amazing Grace?

The last funeral I went to had some out of the ordinary music. I believe Spirit in the Sky was played and it fit well. Not sure how much your family would appreciate it though.

It really all depends on how you want the attendants to feel and how your family feels about it. Are they happy? Not being crude, but a lot of families find great relief when an older family member passes and is relieved of their pain. From personal experience, when my Great Grandmother died, my family celebrated. Mentally she had been gone for years, but her body refused to pass. We felt like it was a time for a celebration.

This thread has gone great so far. Thanx for the advice and humour lads

I've taken Kronks advice on board and asked the funeral home for some examples of regular funeral music - just to get a feel of what makes people comfortable.
The song she used to sing is Beer Hall Polka also known as "roll out the barrel" , I'm looking for an instrumental atm, I'm planning to try and get it as the music when the cremation is happening , I think my sister will veto that idea however , I think grandma may have appreciated the humour.

Ave maria might be ok entry music. Kinda peaceful without really making it's prescence felt.


Grandma was still there at the end. She always had a favourite male nurse that she flirted with , some visits she would spend the whole time joking with you and harrassing you, other time you'd rock up and she'd say goodbye - too tired. My family is pretty cut up , i dunno how people can't get themselves prepared when someone is saying they want to die for 9 years but that's people - that said I'll probably ball like a baby at the funeral.

My grandmother's funeral had a little goofy music. Suffice to say, it was probably the low point of the whole thing. Err on the side of stuffy if you're worried.

 Bullockist wrote:
This thread has gone great so far. Thanx for the advice and humour lads

I've taken Kronks advice on board and asked the funeral home for some examples of regular funeral music - just to get a feel of what makes people comfortable.
The song she used to sing is Beer Hall Polka also known as "roll out the barrel" , I'm looking for an instrumental atm, I'm planning to try and get it as the music when the cremation is happening , I think my sister will veto that idea however , I think grandma may have appreciated the humour.

Ave maria might be ok entry music. Kinda peaceful without really making it's prescence felt.


Grandma was still there at the end. She always had a favourite male nurse that she flirted with , some visits she would spend the whole time joking with you and harrassing you, other time you'd rock up and she'd say goodbye - too tired. My family is pretty cut up , i dunno how people can't get themselves prepared when someone is saying they want to die for 9 years but that's people - that said I'll probably ball like a baby at the funeral.

Is this your first? If its hard, let it be hard. Its ok. Remember your parents now and be there for them.

Nah not first fraz, just the best. MY two grandfathers went before i was 8 , the next one was my maternal grandmother, known colloquially by myself as "evil Grandma". THis one however happenned to be an island of calm , niceness, and good manners in an occasional sea of gak. She was a great lady. Ballet dancer , gymnast, legend. Also the best cook i ever came across. She could make boring english food taste good with no wine or garlic .... I still haven't figured out how...and I really aim to.She was an awesome baker - something I am slowed at, and well if i could cook as well as her i would be a happy man.
I'm trying to be there for my parents but my boss seems to think leaving for a business conference that night or the day after is ok. I think I'm telling him no.

 Bullockist wrote:
Nah not first fraz, just the best. MY two grandfathers went before i was 8 , the next one was my maternal grandmother, known colloquially by myself as "evil Grandma". THis one however happenned to be an island of calm , niceness, and good manners in an occasional sea of gak. She was a great lady. Ballet dancer , gymnast, legend. Also the best cook i ever came across. She could make boring english food taste good with no wine or garlic .... I still haven't figured out how...and I really aim to.She was an awesome baker - something I am slowed at, and well if i could cook as well as her i would be a happy man.
I'm trying to be there for my parents but my boss seems to think leaving for a business conference that night or the day after is ok. I think I'm telling him no.

Sounds like you have good memories. This sounds strange but you might think about writing them down. In the future you can re-read them and remember.