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So I am finally finishing up my first ever company of marines. It was a long struggle because I wanted it to be just right. I didn't want any of the original space marine models, and instead along the way I picked up (ready for the cringe) all Forgeworld heresy models. Essentially it is a White Scars Successor chapter, so all the models are either fast, bikes, or in tanks.

Scroll down for updated Company/Chapter corrections please: comment as well

Looks like a cool army. I don't know anything about fluff but what is the company going to be called?

Well the fluff behind the whole chapter - which I would never build but a man can dream - is that each Company is split into Different war-bands. These War-bands take the last name/Tribal name of the original Captain of that Company - which is weird by Astartus Standards since the mind wipe usually clears that out. However, to these guys (much like the space wolves too now that I think about it), honor and tribalistic mentalities rule.

The original Captain of my Company was Leto Atreides, therefore the company is known as the "House of Atreides" (I think you know where I am going with this )

fidel wrote:
Well the fluff behind the whole chapter - which I would never build but a man can dream - is that each Company is split into Different war-bands. These War-bands take the last name/Tribal name of the original Captain of that Company - which is weird by Astartus Standards since the mind wipe usually clears that out. However, to these guys (much like the space wolves too now that I think about it), honor and tribalistic mentalities rule.

The original Captain of my Company was Leto Atreides, therefore the company is known as the "House of Atreides" (I think you know where I am going with this )

You could try to be a bit more subtle with it

You should be grateful that terminator armor grants a 2+ armor save against lasgun fire, because of what would happen should you have to roll your 5+ invul... I mean, Holtzman shield save against it.

Lascannons however...

 Rasclomalum wrote:
You should be grateful that terminator armor grants a 2+ armor save against lasgun fire, because of what would happen should you have to roll your 5+ invul... I mean, Holtzman shield save against it.

Lascannons however...

You have made my day sir.

In an alternate universe where I was a highly paid teacher with no student loans - My second company would be replicated assault marines, but instead of bikes all tactical marines with rhinos.

They would be a rival company to my company and would constantly bicker on which whose is better - House Harkonnen

I think Techmarines are trained on Mars, once they leave they are "graduates". So the 13 (or is it actually just 10?) Techmarines-in-training would have to be a Chapter Specific tradition (seeing how they aren't installed with Mechadendrites, perhaps that's how the chapter chooses aspiring Techmarines to be sent to Mars?)

Do these warbands act together or do they split up and seek their own battles?

lcmiracle wrote:I think Techmarines are trained on Mars, once they leave they are "graduates". So the 13 (or is it actually just 10?) Techmarines-in-training would have to be a Chapter Specific tradition (seeing how they aren't installed with Mechadendrites, perhaps that's how the chapter chooses aspiring Techmarines to be sent to Mars?)

That's somewhat how I defined/explained it. The 10 marines are essentially techmarines with no mechandrite attachments. Essentially there are three tiers. There is the iron father who is the head honcho techmarine - usually runs with the terminators as his personal retinue so that he can repair the fairly old armour (also I have the iron father fw model so it works perfectly ) the second tier is your run of the mill techmarine graduate of Mars worth mechandrite attachment. Usually stays close to the wheeled vehicles and wheeled artillery that is towed in and chained to the back. Lastly are those chosen for the honor of techmarine in training - essentially 10 individuals whom will train with the techmarines to repair and maintain the company's armour and vehicles. When ready to graduate - much like a scout they are sent to Mars to train further and receive their final mechandrite reward. While not such a high honor as the huntsman, they are revered just as much as the coven of librarians for without thier constant care and help with the master techmarines the armour and vehicles would fall to ruin.

BioVass wrote:Do these warbands act together or do they split up and seek their own battles?

They work very much like the companies of he white scars - or really any company of any chapter. Company's always are competing for the highest honor and the best enemy slain - most of he company's work in split nomadic wars since they value a type of warfare that is not unlike our military today - to hold simultaneous military operations through out the Galaxy. Very rarely do they get together because to them it clogs up the battle. If the company's are called to fight with one another they are tasked with far reaching goals set by the prescience of the librarian coven. One company will secure a jungle planet in the sector while another secures a hive. While they work independently there is also a sense that while a predator wants the thrill of the kill - he is nothing without others help.

And I kno I keep mentioning old vehicles and such.... I really need to show you pictures. Will most likely be put up tomorrow and you will see half the chapter already done

I really like the way you are going with this. It follows a more controversial idea on how a chapter is formed and equipped, plus it shows a chapter that still follows the tenants of their parent chapter. Also I can't wait to see the army so far.

Noc

The dune theme is terrible and doesn't fit the white scars at all. If you're going to make up your own fluff at least try to be creative and don't just lift other peoples creations.

For example Captain Muad Dib, this is just a joke waiting to happen. Naming your Librarium the Bene Gesserit is also probably a great way to piss off dune fans.

Not that a Dune theme is a bad idea, its really not, but you can't just slap names are on things and expect results. How are your Librarians like the Bene? Is there a similar theme there that you want to use, and if yes how can you better show that connection? How does your Chapter come by this divergent behavior? Why have they chosen to ignore the tenets of their forefathers and follow their own path?

A simple trick for creating names that are similar to a given theme is to switch letters, rearrange things. For example Bene Gesserit can easily turn into Besset Garene, Gar Besset, Sett Gessaret or even Bene Ges. Captain Muad Dib should be called Captain Muhadib or Bid Duam even. Or better yet forgoe the name and change the title. instead of Captain try something with flavour like Caliph or make up your own term to use. The Huntsman could also be way cooler. He Who Walks Without Rhythm is such an epic title and works perfectly.

If these guys are a hand me down chapter then they must be a successor chapter, as no self respecting space marine would give away his wargear. In fact I think this is a major flaw in the whole work. Who in their right mind would give away Tartaros pattern armour? These things aren't dust collectors, every single suit of TDA is a relic, full of a chapters history and pride. To give such sacred objects away, even to gene-kin is almost heretical. Unless there is a very special reason why a First Founding chapter would give away their old wargear I just don't see it happening.

Too long summary.

Go back to the drawing board and rethink why these marines even exist in the first place. Once you know why they were founded then you can work on giving them a unique flavour. Just remember that cool names and ideas mean nothing without justification. Instead of trying to create a Dune Chapter, try to create an environment where those marines could exist and the rest will fall into place naturally.

Agreed with all of the above.

It is perfectly fine to make a Chapter inspired by literature such as Dune (I myself have a Chapter based on Metro 2033) or to make references (note: references should be subtle) to it, but you should really avoid copying stuff directly. That is just lazy. To make good fluff, you need to be creative and original.

First things first.
The most important element in your Chapter's culture is its homeworld. That is where you need to start to make good fluff for your Chapter. What does your world look like, what are the people(s) living on your world like? What is their history? How do they wage war?
Answers to questions like this should have an immense influence on your Chapter's fluff, as your chapter's culture will resemble that of its homeworld to a great degree.

Second most important element is the history of your Chapter. What were the defining moments in their history? Why do they exist in the first place?

Thirdly you must look at their Primarch and parent Chapter (White Scars in this case). Your Chapter has the geneseed of the same Primarch, and so there will be quite some similarities between your Chapter and that of the First Founding. How is the relation between the White Scars, the Primarch and your Chapter?

This three elements provide the foundation on which you can build the background for your chapter. Try to be original. You can be inspired by Dune, but don't be too open about it. Add elements of your own and change elements of Dune to make them fit into your own universe, rather than just directly copying elements.



TLDR
If you want to base your Chapter on Dune, take concepts from Dune, change them to fit into your own unique universe and give them names that are different, not exactly the same. Whatever you do, don't just copy things directly because that makes only for boring and awkward fluff.

Thanks Iron Captain!

I was worried that my assessment was too critical, but the OP did ask for the toughest of criticisms.

Your idea to start with the Homeworld is an excellent one. This way the OP is literally starting from the ground up!

To the OP: Don't be discouraged by our words, but do take them to heart. If you want to make a Chapter that is all your own you will be much more satisfied if you do it properly. Not saying our way is the proper and only way, but you will be much more satisfied with the effect if you put more effort into it, no matter how you choose to do that.

Do not worry - I didn't take them personally as an attack

So home world I thought of before I did the Chapter.\

So here it goes:
Homeworld: Enud

The homeworld of this Chapter is quite different from their parent chapter. Where the White Scars choose recruits from a home world with rich lush plains, The Storm Seers recruit from a much harsher location. Their home world rotates around a supermassive black hole - while safe into the habitable zone of said hole, the radiation and light that leaks from the center renders the planet into a Class-H Desert Planet. Rich with many ores and minerals - the planet has high levels of resources that benefit the chapter. Ironically, despite the level of difference between the White Scars and Storm Seers home planets, the in habitants of both planets fight in similar ways. Where as the White Scars recruit from warriors who use many levels of hit and run tactics, the warriors of the desert planet Enud do the same. Due to the harsh climate, the Fauna of the planet have evolved into what is very similar to the Terra Horse and Camel. Using these creatures, the different tribes war with each other for minerals, resources, women, or for sport and pride. While the planet spawns much desert fauna, there is one that the people of Enud take pride in - the mystical Mujadeeb. This tenacious little desert rat is known to stalk its prey, and then quickly launch a attack to the preys weak spot - whether it be an artery or a weakness in the body. It uses its light feathery wings and strong back leg muscles to propel and glide long distances to hit the target, bleed it, then fly/glide away. In fact this motif is strong with the Storm Seers as many of their bikes incorporate some sort of wings into the armour or tank - use of mechanical wings, wings on armour, wings on helmets, even imprinted wings on tanks are a common image with the Storm Seers. This of course only adding to the original theme of the Adeptus Astartus - "the Angels of Death.

Combat Doctrine:
Due to being a successor of the white scars - they use high amounts of hit and run tactics coupled with fast moving vehicles. Many of the artillery that they use is wheeled instead of tracked in order to be towed in by ensuing tanks. Because of the limited resources of their home planet - it has been ingrained in minds of all the inhabitants that you must: one, use any type of resource to win the fight; two, the weaker or more flawed the resource the greater the glory. Essentially, this creates a thematic unifying element with the chapter - in which they either have been known to scrounge for resources or other things after a battle is won (much to the anger of certain Imperium agencies described below), as well as their ability not to shy away from using more relic based weaponry taht has a higher tendency to break down but is usually more prone to repair through "alternative methods."

Chapter Organization:
The Storm Seers are quite an interesting chapter as they do not tend to follow the Codex Astartus to the point. Very similar to other chapters they have 10 Companies - the point is which they differ is where each company interacts. First, each company like to to compete, mostly with each other. Recruiting from a planet that values the pride and the thrill of the hunt - companies tend to let their ego take over and compete. This can be seen in combat (who drops first, who takes the head of the leader) to choice of mission (which provides the most danger) to even inter-chapter challenges (as seen in annual tests and feats of character and strength). Funny enough, due to this relationship between companies, the Chapter shares quite an easy relationship with the equally strained Space Wolves - as they occasionally boast about their feats. Each company is named after the very first Captain of the company during the chapters founding, and very much like the different tribes of the planet Enud, the company has its own different "Clans" (not a name they wanted to choose, but when starting the chapter the White Scars suggested a more regal terminology for company than "tribe" - much to the chagrin of those who started the chapter). For example, there is the Clan Artreidees, which is named after the Captain Mujadeen Artreidees hailing from the Arteidees tribe of the cooler northern hemisphere. There is the Clan Harkonnen, which is named after the Captain Mujadeen Harkonnen, hailing from the Harkonnon tribe of the harsh middle hemisphere of the planet known for its brutal warriors and gladiatorial combat.

The Chapter also has a high level of techmarines and librarians. Titled "Fathers of Ore" and "Seers of Bene" respectively, they both keep a very special role in the chapter. Each Company usually has one Father of Steel and his associates - numbering between 10-15. While the Father of Steel has his servo harness and has had official training at Mars - his associates have the tools but do not have the official training for Mars. This weirdness comes into play due to the high levels of older armour that the Storm Seers posses. Most of the Chapter uses Mark IV armour, while the rest posses the older Mark III and Mark II armour. Even the tanks are quite old - as they posses quite a lot of Fire Raptors, Sicarans, and other Relics of time past. Because of this, the techmarines are needed not only to coax the Machine Spirits but to also maintain much of the armour. Now unusual in their own right - as such relics would never be given to a successor chapter - however such is the honor bestowed upon the Storm Seers by their parent chapter. While White Scars value the speed of battle, they fear that older relics could, and most likely, will break down and slow the pace of battle - or worse - lose them the battle. So while the White Scars push for more modernized weaponry as the land speeder, the Mark V bikes, and modernized tanks, they give the Storm Seers these relics - not only to guard with the vast amount of techmarines, but also to use to smite the Emperors enemies with any tools necessary, even those that are older then the chapter itself. While many might see this as a punishment - why would a chapter give their successor older weapons and equipment prone to erratic conditions - the Storm Seers see this as a challenge; and as one knows, the Storm Seers see a challenge as something that will only add to their honor and pride as warriors.

Secondly come the Conclaves of Librarians. Now, whether due to the large radiation spewed forth from the supermassive black whole, the chapter recruits or has a large amount of Librarians. In fact, most of the companies have at least 3-5 librarians per force. This little council is not only important to the chapter due to their level of prescience and telepathy, but also because the culture demands it. Seers have a grave importance in the War tripes of Enud, very similar to the Wolf priests of the Space Wolves chapter, and so rather than looking at the psyker as an abomination, they are held in high reverence - and the Storm Seers do not shun from their use.

At the head of each of the Companies are two important, and interconnecting bodies. The first is the Captain of the Company known as the Mujadeeb - named after the fast yet viscous desert rat of their home planet. The Mujadeeb is almost a Chapter Master in their own right - and rules his Company as he would a tribe. When the Chapter comes together as a whole, each Captain has a voice in the Chapter, with one elected each 100 years as the head of the Chapter. The second body is the hunter known as "He who sways with wind." Very much like the Khan of the White Scars - his job is to act as the head hunter, tracker, and killer the main target. The two work in tandem, with the Captain being the head, and the hunter being the body.

Lastly comes the Chaplain. Better known as the Dahij, he leads the company in war. While this War may take in the battlefield, he also leads his men in the war of their minds - whether it be lack of faith, questioning, or a lack or flaw of character, he is there to listen and help guide them on the better path.

Most companies are organized very similarly. At the top there is usually consists of one captain, one huntsman, three to five librarians in a conclave, one Dahij chaplain, one Father of Steel with ten to fifteen Fathers of Ore who train with him. The elite part of the Company is usually made up of either command squads sporting mark IV bikes, with at least one terminator squad to assist in a quick and fatal teleportation attack on the enemy. The main body of each company differs, but usually revolves around maintaining around three to five full bike squadrons with ten to thirty tactical marines with rhino transport. While the use of tactical marines is colloquial, some of these marines are actually the Fathers of ore that the chapter uses to maintain the chapters equipment. The Chapter does not use fast landspeeders in their army, since that is a somewhat newer technology that they do not have access too, but rather rely on thirty (!) assault marines to quickly attack and fade. Lastly comes the armoury which varies greatly per company. Some will own Fire Raptors and Sicarans, others will own the older Spartan Land Raider variant, others will own Storm Eagles or old heresy drop pods.

As for weapons, the chapter as a whole makes use of a very common theme of weapon - graviton. While Grav weapons have become popular with other chapters, the Storm Seers have been using graviton weapons since their inception. With sporadic use of Melta weaponry, most if not all marines use graviton weaponry as a link to the older forms of warfare during the Heresy Era. For close combat the use of power fists and chainswords are common, and usually the Captain of each company has a relic of the chapter to safe guard and bring honor too.

Geneseed flaws and problems with the Imperium of man:
While being a very prideful, honor bound, and headstrong Chapter, these are by no means a geneseed flaw - rather a character trait that leave many who meet them slightly off put. The problem herein lies in two facts: that the chapter has a high amount of Librarians, and a malfunction in the Sus-Membrane. On the first fact, this leads to much chaffing with the the Imperium of man - as their view of psykers is not a pleasant one. The fact that this chapter uses them to great extent does not please many, although ironically many seem to have forgotten the friendship that Khan and Magnus had in the Heresy. The secondary problem comes in the form of the Sus Membrane - in so far as when in battle, they enter a sort of battle trance. While others may see them as heightened and greater warriors due to this trance - the fearful part is that this trance could become permanent. It is unsure of what the chapter does with these individuals who are known to enter the "see of the warriors dance;" what is known is that it is very much a black spot of the chapter and a very closely guarded secret.

Furthermore, the Storm Seers seem to have many problems with the Imperium of Man. While usually never having problems with other Chapters - it is the politicking nature of the Imperium that leaves much to be desired from the Storm Seers. They prefer a fast paced system, one in which an elected official rises to power based on merit rather than history or tradition. The Imperium, and its slow and ponderous state, leaves the Storm seers anxious and downright impatient, and these has lead to some conflict in the past. Very much like there gene father, they view the government institutions as a danger to the imperium of man, and much like their friends in the Space Wolf Chapter, they take a very disliking stance to administratum, ministratum, and even the Inquisition - who has particularly given them trouble due to their high levels of psykers as well as the Chapters tendency to loot the battlefield for resources not approved or sanctioned by the Imperium of Man.

How is that so far . I took the advice and changed some of the names around, as I saw that it was a little too tongue in cheek.

So I will write more about the system tomorrow, as well as expand a little more on the homeworld. As you see I explained the usage of older Tartaros or Mark IV armour, and some more of the weirdness of the chapter. Will update first post.

I like this a bit more - was writing this before you guys commented as I realized it left a little to be desired - what you guys think?

First off...

A Chaplain called a Dahij?


... fething perfect dude!

See that's exactly what I'm talking about. Some might call it crass, but that kind of evocative statement is exactly what makes people go "hey, cool!". Obviously people will say its politically incorrect, but to me this is exactly what a desert themed Chaplain should be called! Its the kind of thing that starts conversations.

There are other good name changes in there too, and I think you managed to tie in the Dune theme well. The Mujadeeb mouse is a great little storytelling mechanic and I can imagine a Storm Seer codex having little stories about this in the side boards. The juxtaposition of the diminutive but dangerous rodent and the proud upright space marine might seem silly, but in truth? This sort of comparison and the meanings we draw from it, are what forms the core of tribal storytelling. Native art is full of these stark contrasts and this makes the format perfect for a White Scars successor Chapter.

 darkcloak wrote:
First off...

A Chaplain called a Dahij?


... fething perfect dude!

See that's exactly what I'm talking about. Some might call it crass, but that kind of evocative statement is exactly what makes people go "hey, cool!". Obviously people will say its politically incorrect, but to me this is exactly what a desert themed Chaplain should be called! Its the kind of thing that starts conversations.

There are other good name changes in there too, and I think you managed to tie in the Dune theme well. The Mujadeeb mouse is a great little storytelling mechanic and I can imagine a Storm Seer codex having little stories about this in the side boards. The juxtaposition of the diminutive but dangerous rodent and the proud upright space marine might seem silly, but in truth? This sort of comparison and the meanings we draw from it, are what forms the core of tribal storytelling. Native art is full of these stark contrasts and this makes the format perfect for a White Scars successor Chapter.

Not going to lie.... that made me smile when the name finally clicked

The mouse I like a lot because it adds to that "hit and run" motif with the jumping and and gliding off. It makes more sense when I post the pictures tomorrow of the wings/desert theme the army has.

Thanks for the compliment

A little lesson from an old dog of lore here, White scars call each of their companies brotherhoods, and often they have a mix of veterans and different groups within a single company. But for your chapter think of what culture you are trying to emulate and trying to show off, think of what they would call a military organization or elite group of soldiers.

For my older chapter the Crusaders, their main elite company were called the Temple Guard. Its up to you for naming conventions often times you need to think of what is memorable and what makes sense.

This is the current organization of the Clan Artreidees



updated pic to look nicer

So to give you an idea of what I have been building. Keep in mind some of this is WIP - and other stuff is missing - but I will be glad to post more as the Company grows (in literally 2 months I am expected to finish so we will see )

I have tried to stick to the desert theme a lot along with a wing theme to mimic the desert rat that they revere. So what you will spot is a lot of desert tan, with some red built in due to the planets reddish hue and rocks. The vehicles and bikes are almost all dirty, as pristine and clean is something that wastes time and energy (maintaining the mechanics of the bikes - looks won't kill the enemy *cough cough* Ultramarines *cough cough*). As I mentioned before a lot of wings - but usually only reserved for those in the command position or squads. Squads will normally don wings on their shoulders as to still give reverence.

So What you guys think of the fluff and the idea now that you see some of the results

Mujadeeb of Clan Artreidees - Equipped with his two relics: The Fist of Terra and The Impenetrable



He who sways with wind - The Hunter (head needs to be redone) - With his latest victim the Demon Dog of Carthax IV



Head Seer of the Conclave of Librarius (4 more still being built) - With Force axe and Seers of Bene Ritualistic Book



2x Father of Ore (Techmarine) - coming soon

Dahij (Chaplain) - coming soon

Shunii Command Squad with Clan shaman (apothecary)


Sheeni Command Squad with Clan Shaman (apothecary) - coming soon

Tartaros Squad "The Spear that Pierces"





Spartan Class Landraider "The Adamant Sandstone" - coming soon

2x Tactical Squad with Deimos Rhinos - Coming Soon

3x Bike Squads with Attack Bike (the fourth and final one is coming soon)


Squads are differentiated by the different colored graviton guns located on their bikes (and will further be differentiated with markings on the back of the bike)


3x Assault Squads with Flamers (Notice that they are all differentiated by their set of shoulder pads - designating which tribe they most represent)







Clan Artreidees Armoury
Storm Eagle (heavily modified from storm raven, chapterhouse bits, and a whirlwind launcher )




3 Stalker tanks (coming soon)

1 Fellblade (coming soon)

Sicaran Tank



Fire Raptor




3 Thunderfires (One thunderfire coming soon, one techmarine sadly not painted yet :( )

Oooh. Nice looking models man. Love the fluff too!

Awesome minis!
And good improvements on the fluff too. It is pretty good now. I will question the science between a world orbiting a black hole, but hey, never let science get in the way of rule of cool!
Now it just needs some details worked out. Details about iconography, historical events and figures would be nice to see.

Wow! Cool paint scheme.

I really like that off tan looking colour it's like a sickly beige or something. Good weathering too. Definitely a fan of buddy with the powerfist on the bike. He looks dope.

 Iron_Captain wrote:

Awesome minis!
And good improvements on the fluff too. It is pretty good now. I will question the science between a world orbiting a black hole, but hey, never let science get in the way of rule of cool!
Now it just needs some details worked out. Details about iconography, historical events and figures would be nice to see.

*cough cough* stole idea from Interstellar *cough cough*

If the black whole is big enough, and travels at speeds exceeding thousands of miles an hour, its event horizon is actually quite weak funny enough. The problem with planets revolving around a black hole is the radiation spewed from the center... but if not in direct contact it is only a bit more harmful then the radiation from the sun


But yes..... rule of cool....

Here if you want an organization pattern that I used here...

http://warhammer40kfanon.wikia.com/wiki/The_Wanderers

I also have command structures that I didn't add there. But this was from a year ago, so take that as you will.

If you need help with organization just ask!

So far your organization table is pretty interesting.