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Turn one, player one, shooting phase (before Psychic phase was a thing, Happyjew, so essentially the same number of phases).

I've had a number of my early games with DE end then, before I got some experience with DE Deep Strike armies. I'd usually ask for a rematch, and most opponents were willing to oblige, given how swift the first game had been.

Unbound ratling snipers vs unbound grots!

My Guard vs Grey Knights.
He got the initiative
I lasted until his turn three's shooting phase.

Think my shortest one was seeing my guard get wiped out turn 2 by nids. I had no idea how guard or nids worked, took a gunline of basically all mortars and flamers as I always thought of nids as a horde army. Nope, nidzilla, flyrants and warriors killed them all to a man by the second turn.

 insaniak wrote:
4th edition game, Dark Eldar vs Guard.

Dark Eldar player deploys his surfer Lord with Webway portal, keeps everything else in reserve to come through the portal.

Turn 1, Guard goes first, drops a battlecannon round on the lord.

Lord fails his field save, and is turned into paste.

Game ends, as the Webway portal was not yet deployed.

I had a similar game, turn 1 battlecannon penetrates Raider, Raider fails "hull down" roll, damage table result comes up "Vehicle Annihilated" from Ordnance, killing all passengers, including the lord with WWP.

I felt bad...

Orks vs chaos space Marines. I had 3 gorkanauts and 2 morkanauts and the other player was ok with me resting my new toys. I think I had two units of trukk boys as well. Turn one my guys move up and the orkanauts lose some hull points. Turn two I move up more and decimate two squads of bikers and two squads of noise Marines in rhinos. Turn three his remaining unit of bikes with a lord go in and get beat in combat by two gorkanauts and he surrendered due to having no weapons to hurt me left. It took about 15 minutes since I only really had to move five models.

My shortest game played was in 6th ed. Escalation just came out, but we didn't have it at the store. Some guy got it online though. I deployed first . My guard was set up , the way I always did, in a corner with a blob shielding my tanks and chimeras. I had 2 vendattas in reserv with melta vets.. He deployed coteaz, and a warhound. Grabed first turn and light up my corner of the table. Then he showed me what D does, which probably was the longest part of the game. First template he just rolled to check, if tanks blow up. I think one chimera survived. Then he asked me if I want him to roll for the troops too, I said yes and he said each of his weapons fires 2 of this templates. It was maybe 10 min in to the game including set up and I got tabled.

This guy comes to mind:

Click here for the story behind the shiteating grin.



Look at that smug face.

2nd edition, my 1500 chaos force is set up, all 17 of them, my opponent and his nids set up. I get first turn, I don't do any movement, Plague wind was countered in the Psychic phase, my first shot is an autocannon guy who promptly kills his expensive hive tyrant in a single volley. Opponent gives up. All he had left was a Carnifex in the back and some hormigaunts(which really sucked back then). Maybe took 10 minutes. We then spent an hour having our commanders duke it out one on one, my sorcerer rarely lost.

Back in 6th, first game against a new opponent (later went on to be a close buddy of mine), my foot slogging marines versus his Tau list. I didn't have much more than the DV set and a Rhino.

He goes first, proceeds to murder everything I have in about 20 minutes. His Turn 2 he tables me.

Nice guy though, proceeded to show me how to beat Tau.

However, I still hate Tau with a bloody passion for all the times he kicked my ass without ever moving. But he hates Maelstrom, imagine that.

My first game against Admech Warconvocation & Flesh Tearers Strike Force. The game lasted 2 turns, as after the first there was nothing left on the table to achieve victory even in theory.

 Purifier wrote:
This guy comes to mind:

Click here for the story behind the shiteating grin.



Look at that smug face.

I just laughed so damn hard take that WAAC powergamers!

 Purifier wrote:
This guy comes to mind:

Click here for the story behind the shiteating grin.



Look at that smug face.

I remember hearing about that, I laughed so hard I almost cried.

Hormagaunts were amazing in 2nd. Whoever claimed they were bad is dead wrong.

Ah the good old infiltrate trick I had heard of that one.

shortest game I played was 6th ed necrons vs grey knights. it was a low point game of 500-750 i wanna say 500. Grey knight player had the guy who gave him termies as troops and took nothing but termies. I stole initiative and moved my aabarge into rage of his unit with his HQ made four 6's on the tesla to hit thanks to the re-roll and made all my wounds. He failed all but 2 armor saves. we decided to call the game there and play another.

Waay back in 2nd ed, I was playing with SM vs. Chaos. It was probably shortly after Dark Millenium came out since we were playing with Mission Cards (or whatever they were called). I teleported a squad of terminators next to his Lord of Change and unloaded with my cyclone missile launcher and anything else I could. Once it died, I got 2-3 victory points for killing it, another 5 for killing his highest level psyker and a couple more. He conceded part way through my second turn.

I play Sisters of Battle, often with vanilla Marine allies. My mom plays Orks, and used to play vanilla Marines before allies were a thing. Neither of us ever kept anything in Reserve, so I don't have any stories about games that ended due to being unable to deploy anything.

I've been tabled on Turn 4 a couple of times though, with my units only lasting as long as it took for my mom's melee troops to reach them. Honor Guard in 5e made a habit of just walking across the field, maybe taking one or two casualties, then killing unit after unit. And I don't mean they were driven across, I mean they walked, on foot.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 master of ordinance wrote:
I just laughed so damn hard take that WAAC powergamers!

Actually, at the time, the White Scars player wasn't playing an overly powerful list, nor was holding everything in reserve a jerk move. The jerk move from the WAAC powergamer is probably on the part of the guy who saw his opponent taking a fluffy, well-painted army and doing something commonly-done against gunline armies like Tau with it, then was like, "Nahhhh, let's just deny him the chance to even start to fight and win instantly on a technicality."

Don't even know whether I'd count it as a game but a few weeks after the release of 7th edition, I played a game that was finished before deployment.

I was playing CSM and had lots of psykers (ML 14 iirc). I got invisibility on 3 of my psykers, Iron arm and enducrance on my daemon prince to boot. Basicly, I rolled everything I could've ever hoped for.
My opponent told me to re-roll everything because he wasn't going to play against 'that'. I told him I wouldn't. "Fine, then I concede, you win! Now, we can start a new game."

Is it that hard for people to understand that others might enjoy being lucky for once? Now I get that invisibility is a frustrating power, but so are a lot of other things.

I beat an IG ABG list in a single round once with a Nurgle daemon list.

Basically, I moved my two plague-drone squads up-field, and my opponent realized that he had no actual way to deal with their 2+ jink so he just conceded.

Not quite as exciting as the other stories in here... but a fun example of how poorly balanced 40K is.

His fault for not taking any Eradicators in that case.

 BlaxicanX wrote:
I beat an IG ABG list in a single round once with a Nurgle daemon list.

Basically, I moved my two plague-drone squads up-field, and my opponent realized that he had no actual way to deal with their 2+ jink so he just conceded.

Not quite as exciting as the other stories in here... but a fun example of how poorly balanced 40K is.

How about shooting them?

DaPino wrote:
Don't even know whether I'd count it as a game but a few weeks after the release of 7th edition, I played a game that was finished before deployment.

I was playing CSM and had lots of psykers (ML 14 iirc). I got invisibility on 3 of my psykers, Iron arm and enducrance on my daemon prince to boot. Basicly, I rolled everything I could've ever hoped for.
My opponent told me to re-roll everything because he wasn't going to play against 'that'. I told him I wouldn't. "Fine, then I concede, you win! Now, we can start a new game."

Is it that hard for people to understand that others might enjoy being lucky for once? Now I get that invisibility is a frustrating power, but so are a lot of other things.

"But so are a lot of things" doesn't make invisibility any more fun or any less broken.

It's not hard for people to understand that others will enjoy being lucky. But, when that luck results in all fun being removed from the game, why should they play you?

Tzeentch daemons (blue scribes, horrors and kairos) vs unbound SM flyer army with skyshield pad in a killpoint game, he got 1st turn and got to the end of the movement phase until I asked him what his army was, my only possible shooting attacks that could hit flyers were s5, kairos is s5, his entire army is armour 12 flyers. I immediately packed up and left the store.
I had told him my army list before the game started so he wrote a list that I was unable to kill. Considering that was the manager I was playing I changed my FLGS.

Grey knights. 2000 point list with paladins and 4 units of terminators in a nemesis strike force. Everything but the paladins failed to come in turn one. The paladins scattered 12" into the only nearby wall and mishapped. Rolled and....destroyed. Lost the game in my own movement phase.

DaPino wrote:

 BlaxicanX wrote:
I beat an IG ABG list in a single round once with a Nurgle daemon list.

Basically, I moved my two plague-drone squads up-field, and my opponent realized that he had no actual way to deal with their 2+ jink so he just conceded.

Not quite as exciting as the other stories in here... but a fun example of how poorly balanced 40K is.

How about shooting them?

With what? It takes an average of 11 hits from a battle-cannon to get a single wound through a 2+ cover save.

Emphasis on "hits". This is assuming your bs3 battle-cannon doesn't scatter away or only clip the unit.

It takes 10 exterminator shots to do 1 wound at BS3 twin-linked...

9 shots from an exterminator cannon to do 1 wound...

Even an eradicator nova cannon needs to get at least two hits in order to put 1 wound on the unit.

To pick one example out of the bunch, you would need three LR Exterminators to get that magic 9 shots mentioned above. That's 390 points of shooting to put a single wound on a unit that costs 135 points and has 9 wounds...

T2 Victory, Tau vs Daemons in 7th Edition.

He reserves ~ 4 squads.
My T1. I shoot. I kill everything except a squad of flamers.
My T2. I kill the flamers. All his reserves fail to arrive. End game.

T1 Victory, Tau vs Eldar. This was my most decisive victory ever - kind of like some anime cartoon where you punch the enemy so hard they fall in to another dimension.
This was a game where we were purposefully trying out all the 'big stupid' stuff in 40k at the end of 6th - when a single D-weapon was cause for alarm. He had an Iyanden Eldar army with a wraithknight, I had an Aquilla strongpoint filled to the brim with tau and a few other things.
T1, no movement, I fire 2 BS5 twin-linked ingores cover monster hunter large blast SD shots at his wraithknight. It dies. I mean, I'd killed his wraithknight on T1 in other games using 150pts of Sniper Drones, and this time I used nearly 1000pts of stuff to do the same job so I would HOPE I could kill a single 250pt model... but something about the situation did not sit well with my opponent. He now can't kill the AV15 bunker (this was in 6th when a glance would only just do a wound with armour saves to the guys inside, rather than taking hull points off). He ragequits. Not just the current game, but 40k as a hobby. He hasn't touched his Eldar since and only plays X-Wing now.



Quickest game that actually got played to completion that I've seen was a Fantasy End times battle. I didn't paly, but I got to observe the aftermath.
I was helping run a tournament, our club's first End Times Fantasy tournament. We were a bit unsure how it would go because we'd heard how overpowering some of the magic could be.

5 minutes in to the first round the first game is over, 20-0 victory. WAT. We were scared this was going to be a VERY short day.

The game was Skaven vs Lizardmen. Lizards had essentially 2 massive blocks of Saurus with Slann, and a token squad of skinks.
The skaven player skitterleaps two sorcerers behind the Saurus, casts some -1 Toughness spell multiple times, and then wipes the squad out by making them take repeated toughness tests. (Sorry, can't remember the actual spells).
Lizards were tabled top of turn 1, 5 minutes after deploying.

My quickest game ever was in 2nd edition, and we didn't even make it to turn 1. Early 2nd edition, so no Codexes were available. I had Orks, my opponent had Tyranids. He played the Virus Outbreak strategy card, and after the dice had settled, I had a single Ork Boy with a bolt pistol facing 1,500 points of Tyranid Warriors and Genestealers.

 Grimtuff wrote:
I have the winner- Not me but I heard this many years ago.

3rd edition Kroot Mercs vs. Alpha Legion (so everything on both sides has infiltrate). A single roll off to see who deploys first (in 3rd you didn't alternate deploying infiltrating units, it was army by army) Kroot player sets up their army in such a way the AL player cannot deploy.

Wins.

Also this.
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/277109.page

Yes, it's THAT Tau vs. White Scars pic.

Epic! I haven't heard the first one but I was gonna bring up the white scars one when I read the topic haha. Its one of those situations where its dirty but youre just like, well they aren't wrong.

 AndrewGPaul wrote:
My quickest game ever was in 2nd edition, and we didn't even make it to turn 1. Early 2nd edition, so no Codexes were available. I had Orks, my opponent had Tyranids. He played the Virus Outbreak strategy card, and after the dice had settled, I had a single Ork Boy with a bolt pistol facing 1,500 points of Tyranid Warriors and Genestealers.

Dang. Ive heard the tales of 2nd edition though.