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Made in sa
Regular Dakkanaut





I enjoy playing 40K casually with friends, but often face a friend who starts to complain when I target a key unit in his model, and seems to lose interest in the game if his units are wiped out. It's happened a few times. It doesn't help that we often play a 3-way battle and are joined with our ruthless veteran friend who seems to care little about how his brutal play style could poison the air in a casual game.

How would you handle the situation?

Spoiler:
I then decided to meet him for a one-on-one match and play my Necrons against his Tau. We went all out in our armies, fielding everything. His points were around 1,000 more than I did, and I helped with the upgrades.

I tried to go easy on him and move a couple of Warrior units out in the open for him to destroy, and it seemed to work. I sacrificed a few noncritical units, and later "forgot" to move some Praetorian after they killed one of his units, allowing him to rip through them. I even made comments on what some units will do in my next turn at the beginning of his turn, so he can focus on preventing me from doing it.

I didn't like having to feed him my army to kill while I conveniently overlooked stuff in his favor, but I wanted him to enjoy the game. It seemed to work, but it seems that there's a long way ahead for him to actually be a threat on the table. Meanwhile, as he grows stronger, I am making my own plans to face the veteran and proving he is not indestructible.

 
   
Made in gb
Rampaging Reaver Titan Princeps






Sounds like a lot of hassle just to cater to his inability to cope with losing what supposed to be an enjoyable pastime. Instead of bending over backwards to avoid tantrums have you told him to pack it in and handle the fact that his strong units are going to get shot at? A bit harsh perhaps and not something everyone is able to do. But sometimes you have to take the tough love route.

Personally, if his tantrums are crashing my enjoyment of a game, I wouldn't play him.

I'd prefer no games over bad games.
   
Made in gb
Dakka Veteran





One of my old friends who for a time was the only person I played against was the atypical tfg.
He would brag when he was winning, whinge/sulk when he was losing and cheat at every opportunity regardless of the state of the game.
The solution was simple. I don't play him anymore, we're still friends though lol

I've been playing a while, my first model was a lead marine and my first White Dwarf was bound with staples 
   
Made in us
Martial Arts Fiday






Nashville, TN

Rewarding tantrums with spoon fed wins is a terrible idea.
Stop playing immediately when he becomes intolerable. Coach him after the game or during but playing dumb will never let him learn to play better.

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Made in de
Junior Officer with Laspistol





The way I'd deal with it is to not play against him, not enable his gakky behaviour like you did.

Guy needs to grow up and giving him a free pass won't help.

Question: How old is he?


Star Trek taught me so much. Like, how you should accept people, whether they be black, white, Klingon or even female...

FAQs 
   
Made in us
Powerful Phoenix Lord





Find another game to play with him, and if he asks why you're playing a board game instead of 40K just tell him that 40K has become a negative experience etc.
   
Made in ca
Deadshot Weapon Moderati




Have you considered talking to him about it?
   
Made in ie
Hurr! Ogryn Bone 'Ead!






Tell him to cop on and grow up.

Check out my current short story project "When a World Dies" http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/617737.page#7253683
 
   
Made in gb
Dakka Veteran





 Griddlelol wrote:
The way I'd deal with it is to not play against him, not enable his gakky behaviour like you did.

Guy needs to grow up and giving him a free pass won't help.

Question: How old is he?


Some of the worst players are the adults, particularly when they lose to younger players. I've seen an adult pack up all his army when he started losing and storm off in a huff, in Games Workshop in front of a load of people (adults and kids) who all laughed rightfully about it afterwards

I've been playing a while, my first model was a lead marine and my first White Dwarf was bound with staples 
   
Made in de
Junior Officer with Laspistol





Huron black heart wrote:
 Griddlelol wrote:
The way I'd deal with it is to not play against him, not enable his gakky behaviour like you did.

Guy needs to grow up and giving him a free pass won't help.

Question: How old is he?


Some of the worst players are the adults, particularly when they lose to younger players. I've seen an adult pack up all his army when he started losing and storm off in a huff, in Games Workshop in front of a load of people (adults and kids) who all laughed rightfully about it afterwards


Wow, what babies. I never understand people who do that, I get it, you spent ages painting your army, but losing at a game involving dice doesn't diminish you as a person.


Star Trek taught me so much. Like, how you should accept people, whether they be black, white, Klingon or even female...

FAQs 
   
Made in ca
Hardened Veteran Guardsman





Calbi,Terra

I myself sometimes act like that. But then I realized i'm using my army to my full potential. Whatever army he uses. Take a look at his codex online. And try and find somthing that wasn't used by him. And tell him about it. It probably won't help, but it could defuse the situation a bit.

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The one rule I have in my threads: DONT TALK ABOUT THE ABRAMS.
That is it



 
   
Made in us
Ferocious Blood Claw






In my personal experience playing with people who simply can't cope with the fact that this game is based off dice rolls and then get extremely butthurt when something bad happens and then gives up is just a giant waste of time. Also someone who is extremely technical and ocd about stats is mind numbing to play with as well..first time the odds aren't in their favor as they are running the statistics of everything that is happening in their head..games over mentality kicks in.

I've had the misfortune to play with both of these types. The super technical guy was not my direct friend, he was my friends friend. After several meetings I just told my friend I did not want him inviting the other guy over anymore...just killed the gaming atmosphere for everything with his BS. The other guy who simply can't cope with anything going bad before the "its over" mentality kicks in is probably the most negative person I've ever met in my life, about everything..not just games.

I often wonder why people that get upset as they do while playing stuff like this even bother with it.
   
Made in us
Preacher of the Emperor





Denver, CO, USA

I don't love the idea of throwing games as a response to his bad attitude. If he's a friend, I'd put your cards on the table and ask him for better vibes. At the same time, since you're playing Necrons, you might back off the Decurion and run some different lists just to give him a chance. Do something super fluffy using less common formations or under utilized units, but then play it as best you can. Go easy on him in the build, but not in the turn to turn gameplay.

   
Made in us
Krazed Killa Kan






I know I am a very competitive person who strives for success in the things I am passionate about. Before the game starts and in list building I am rather easy going (if a bit stress of life) but once the game starts I get very focused on what is happening and play to my best ability. Honestly losing is draining and can be frustrating (particularly when its because of a string of abnormally unlucky dice rolls) as the feeling that my lack of success in my actions is due to elements outside my control. It continues to get worse when it feels like my actions to fix the lack of success continues to fail which escalates frustration.

The thing is I don't like getting frustrated and I hate how it makes me feel and how it makes others feel. I wish I could not feel that way and be content with any outcome (aka enjoy playing the game win or lose) but sadly that isn't fully possible despite how hard I try. The drive to overcome a challenge is very strong with me as I like problem solving and strategy. The thing is though that its never frustration or anger at another person but its frustration with "the game" or "luck" because its something that I don't have control over so I am at the mercy of the random results. After the game its much easier to decompress and return to a rational and less frustrated state. I know that after I have been frustrated in a game I tend to be very apologetic as I don't like feeling that way and I feel bad for possibly ruining their experience.

I just felt like putting it out there what its like for somebody who has to deal with getting frustrated. It requires a very conscious effort and strategy to manage and even then it isn't going to stop every grumble, use of profanity, or feeling of frustration when playing the game.

What I do suggest to the OP is to talk to your friend when they are in a relaxed state (not in the middle of a game) and explain how playing with them makes you feel when they get upset. Its quite possible they don't realize how their behavior makes you feel and if they know then they can try to manage their behavior better. Pandering to them by intentionally losing isn't doing anybody favors and just feeds the ego as it where. If your friend starts to get frustrated then suggest taking a break for a few minutes, get a snack, drink, bathroom break, get some fresh air, etc to help give your friend time to defuse and calm down.

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Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter






Talk to them seriously. just explain that its uncomfortably awkward.

Social skills

 Unit1126PLL wrote:
 Scott-S6 wrote:
And yet another thread is hijacked for Unit to ask for the same advice, receive the same answers and make the same excuses.

Oh my god I'm becoming martel.
Send help!

 
   
Made in gb
Slaanesh Chosen Marine Riding a Fiend





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Please note, for those of you who play Chaos Daemons as a faction the term "Daemon" is potentially offensive. Instead, please play codex "Chaos: Mortally Challenged". Thank you. 
   
Made in us
Douglas Bader






 Griddlelol wrote:
The way I'd deal with it is to not play against him, not enable his gakky behaviour like you did.

Guy needs to grow up and giving him a free pass won't help.


/thread

There is no such thing as a hobby without politics. "Leave politics at the door" is itself a political statement, an endorsement of the status quo and an attempt to silence dissenting voices. 
   
 
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