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So at our local club we have a lad who plays T'au. Recently we had a tournament at 500 pts (we don't have much time to play and are full of new players), and he brought two commanders and one coldstar. That was a total of five fusion blasters, five burst cannons, all within range on turn one, and since he had the first turn (only 4 units compared to my 7) he was able to kill all my important units turn one. How do I handle this ungodly monstrosity.

I wouldn't worry about it. There's one of 'those guys' at most clubs. WAAC or bust. 500 games lend themselves to this kind of shenanigans anyway and there's almost no way to counter every possible abusive list at this point value.

That said, no one likes to lose, so there are things you can do.

Item one, it's 18 T5 wounds with a 3+ save. That's not beyond most lists. The problem is going second because of drops and losing all your good units before they get to do anything. There are two solutions, one, but your drops, or two, use position and bubble wrap to soften the alpha strike.

Exactly what you can do depends on what army you play and what minis you own.

1) Having fewer drops does not mean he automatically goes first. Did you reroll the seize roll?

2) Try 60 shootaboyz + rokkits + Weirdboy with da jump. Or 5x3 warbikers + a big mek with KFF. Or perhaps 3x10 shootaboyz + 5 weirdboyz. With latter list you should be able to smite 2 commanders a turn.

Regards

I did the reroll on the seize roll.
I play guard and I was able to get in 104 shots with 2+ to hit (searchlight shenanigans), and I did five wounds to one of them.

Not familar with Guard but I would take a big tank and bubble wrap it with Conscripts to prevent Deep Striking.

Maybe take two?

Commisar, 2x20 Conscripts and 2 Punisher Leman Russ' is 500. Maybe Wyverns or something, I'm not familar with the best tanks AM have.

 NoOneExpectsAnInquisition wrote:
I did the reroll on the seize roll.
I play guard and I was able to get in 104 shots with 2+ to hit (searchlight shenanigans), and I did five wounds to one of them.

Plasma scions?

For guard I would go with a bunch of infantry, either in the form of a battalion with 3-4 infantry squads or a conscript blob for a patrol (make sure to season with commissars and officers to taste). Add Pask with a punisher and a lascannon to chew through wounds, and if you have the points a manticore will do well against t5 commanders since its s10.

Apropos of nothing in particular, this is my favorite thread title in a long time. It's way beyond me though, after about 6 or 7 pints I'm not playing my best 40K any more.

I play at HATE Club in East London at Bethnal Green Working Men's Club. One of the club's favourite games is the game of Beer. This makes me want to organise a charity Apoc game where the aim is to drink at least 500 pints during the game. Fifteen to twenty generals on each side, two days, six to ten pints each day.

Easy!

Pints! I'd give my left nut to play in a club that was licensed to serve beer.

pismakron wrote:

 NoOneExpectsAnInquisition wrote:
I did the reroll on the seize roll.
I play guard and I was able to get in 104 shots with 2+ to hit (searchlight shenanigans), and I did five wounds to one of them.

Plasma scions?

This would be one answer. Deepstrike reserves are an effective counter to some alpha strike lists. So long as you can weather the storm of his first turn, perhaps with an army designed to offer no juicy targets, you can then drop in and target his big sticks with impunity. Scions would put a big hurt on Tau commanders.

 Fenris-77 wrote:
Pints! I'd give my left nut to play in a club that was licensed to serve beer.

I also find myself thinking this, and then I look around at some of the people who play at my shop and think to myself how much more unbelievably obnoxious they would be drunk.

But then, I guess I'd be drunk, too, and they'd be a little less obnoxious.

Also, this wouldn't help you win the game per se, but did you consider, y'know, beating him up in a back alley for being the type of person who brings 3 commanders to a 500 point tournament full of beginner players? I mean, after 500 pints, the thought had to cross you mind.