Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

 queen_annes_revenge wrote:

I'm not familiar with ASN? dont want to guess and cause offence.

Additional Support Needs, I think the current buzzword is. Both my kids are autistic, which means (amongst other things) that they don't necessarily settle down well to sleep.

An easy answer, because quitting was so hard:

Aiming for a normal life with steady job that would allow me to have a family.



Too many failures, too many common areas of work I'm not cut out for, too many occassions where I've been taken on as a promising and very hard-working employee, only to prove I did more harm than good by an endless cycle of of repeated mistakes. Too many mindboggling mistakes, connected to an absent-minded (surface level) but very thorough mind. Too many disappointed people who once saw great promise in having me as a coworker. None more disappointed than myself. A soulcrushing series of disappointments, a rat's race to oblivion I will no longer participate in.

So now it's creative endeavours all the way, baby!

Creative projects are what I excel at. All that dream of steady employment so I can support a family is quitted. Maybe I can eventually soar (highly unlikely as it is) by force of constant work and creative projects winning renown and studio employment, but it's not something that's expected, even if it would be welcome.

I quit trying, and ever failing, at getting a job. Instead I fill my time with way more hard work and longer working hours at my own creative projects, than most people do in their paid professions. Weekends? Doesn't figure, almost every day is working day. Last year saw many intense periods of 10-14 hours a day, 7 days a week work. I've toned down the intensity of it, but its' stil long days and lots of work. And I'm enjoying it. It's stimulating.

Soon I'll have to live off other people's tax money. I was always thrifty and saved money for the future. No more, there will likely be no future for me that is economically buoyant, at least not for a long while yet. My life's savings and earnings are at long last burning low. Me, soon to be broke, who always saved more of my money than anyone in my school class, and hardly ever spent cash in the first place. Me, ever known as studious and a hard worker and skilled in many areas, deft in thought and deft in hands. Me, not fit for ordinary forms of work, soon to be broke.

In other words, it's an artist's life for me. A hard-working life, without monetary profits to speak of. This is a calling, and I'll get my creative works out one way or another, all honest as ever; legal middleman and Kickstarters, seem the logical first step.

I'm just glad I quit trying before I could amass any student loans. I'm free of those at least.

Be well!

Herzlos wrote:

 queen_annes_revenge wrote:

I'm not familiar with ASN? dont want to guess and cause offence.

Additional Support Needs, I think the current buzzword is. Both my kids are autistic, which means (amongst other things) that they don't necessarily settle down well to sleep.

Ah. I initially thought autistic spectrum but couldn't figure out the N. I feel for you. I can't even imagine that

Ach it's just a different kind of hard work to having neurotypical kids. They are great boys but relentless, it's just that if one of them is up during the night it takes a lot longer to get them back to bed so there's the occasional night with 3-4 hours sleep where energy drinks are so tempting.

Herzlos wrote:

Debt is the big one. I earn well but a lot of it goes back out on debt. There's always something needing money spent (like a new household fixtures). The plan is to use my bonus money to pay down the debt and only buying stuff that's necessary. It's not going too well so far, but I'm still on top of it (just).

I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps if you have debt and/or would like to be able to retire with dignity. It made all the difference for us financially. For everything else there is Jocko.

Reading this thread has honestly been cathartic and reaffirming. I am honestly humbled by everything everyone has shared so far and the humanity on display. Congrats to those who have been successful in achieving positive change. To those still working on it or still in search of help, a solution, courage, or whatever you think is keeping you from your goal I would just like to say I am rooting for you.

Again, much respect to everyone and thank you!

 Reavsie wrote:

Herzlos wrote:

Debt is the big one. I earn well but a lot of it goes back out on debt. There's always something needing money spent (like a new household fixtures). The plan is to use my bonus money to pay down the debt and only buying stuff that's necessary. It's not going too well so far, but I'm still on top of it (just).

I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps if you have debt and/or would like to be able to retire with dignity. It made all the difference for us financially. For everything else there is Jocko.

I've been doing similar, though using the avalanche method unless the particular debt is relatively small. Got a small amount of money going into a stock fund, some into a cash saving account, maxed out my pension contributions, and putting any spare money onto the credit card with the highest debt. Most of the debt is fairly low interest so I'm seeing a fairly big drop off in balance every month which is good.
I've even got a spreadsheet of balances with a graph so I can watch the lines gradually work down. I just need to be harsher with the 'little spends' that all add up.

I reckon within 4 years (the remaining period on 2 loans - for an extension and a car), I'll be in pretty good shape and will have learned my lesson! My wife will be back to work by then too, so we should be able to start throwing a lot more money into investing in the future (since we'll likely want to buy a small apartment nearby for both kids).

This is rather odd but computer adventure/RPG games.
They are HUGE time sinks and are not a very good means to relax and you can't really multitask.

I am trying to reduce the pile of plastic crack and get it all built and painted... these games are really a problem in completing that goal.

I increasingly get all the adult things I need to do to be a functional member of society and my family, so sleep takes a bit of hit when you have that one more dungeon crawl to do.

Geekiest thing I can do is spend time playing a game, reading books inside that game.

I hardly drink, don't smoke and have tried the quitting caffeine, did it for a few months but wow, yes, those headaches were something else.
Hard for me to go off of coffee due to my above addiction and being short on sleep.

 Talizvar wrote:
This is rather odd but computer adventure/RPG games.
They are HUGE time sinks and are not a very good means to relax and you can't really multitask.

I am trying to reduce the pile of plastic crack and get it all built and painted... these games are really a problem in completing that goal.

I increasingly get all the adult things I need to do to be a functional member of society and my family, so sleep takes a bit of hit when you have that one more dungeon crawl to do.

Geekiest thing I can do is spend time playing a game, reading books inside that game.

I hardly drink, don't smoke and have tried the quitting caffeine, did it for a few months but wow, yes, those headaches were something else.
Hard for me to go off of coffee due to my above addiction and being short on sleep.

That's why I've never gotten around to finishing Andromeda or AC: Odyssey. It's a lot easier to log some hours on Overwatch than grinding through an RPG. I kind of want to replay DA: I, but I know it'll take 8-10 hours just to pick up my advanced class and it's pretty not much worth the time investment.

I can't see myself getting into an RPG until Cyberpunk 2077 comes out. Work and exercise are tremendously more important and like you said, sleep is crucial.

Since having my daughter I don't play any computer games at all. I'm seriously considering selling my Ps4 and games. I just don't have time. The time I do have when she's asleep I'd rather spend on the hobby and hanging out with my partner.

I used to play video games for hours and hours on end. Right around the time I hit 30 ish my want for video games has steadily gone down. I mostly only play nintendo games now and they are either quick pick up and put down types or I'm SUPER picky with what I'm playing. The time sink just seems like a waste to me anymore. It wasn't anything I had to try and quit though, just happened

Salt.

Blood pressure says it's a no-no, and my wife would kind of like to keep me around, for some reason.

And salt is in everything in America. In far too copious amounts.

It was easier dropping sugar.

The Auld Grump

 KingCracker wrote:
I used to play video games for hours and hours on end. Right around the time I hit 30 ish my want for video games has steadily gone down. I mostly only play nintendo games now and they are either quick pick up and put down types or I'm SUPER picky with what I'm playing. The time sink just seems like a waste to me anymore. It wasn't anything I had to try and quit though, just happened

I have experienced this somewhat. It's not that I so much find them a waste, but that I just don't have the appetite for long gaming sessions anymore.

When I was 16, I could play videogames basically all day straight without taking a break. Give me a game with 100 hous of content and that takes hours to learn and 24 year old me would have been thriled. I spent untold hours raiding and playing MMO's. Now? Even when I have time, I find myself increasingly playing games that can be enjoyed in short amounts of time with low learning curves. Stuff like nintendo party games I would have found droll and quaint 10 years ago are now my jam. If I see a loading screen, my patience is tested mightily. I want something I can play in 15-45 mins at a time, with a minimal learning curve (or be something I already know). If I tried to play something like WoW again I'd be bored to death.

Doom was the last game I really binged hard on, and that fits right in with what im looking for these days.

 TheAuldGrump wrote:
Salt.

Blood pressure says it's a no-no, and my wife would kind of like to keep me around, for some reason.

And salt is in everything in America. In far too copious amounts.

It was easier dropping sugar.

The Auld Grump

I've had several friends and family members have to go on low sodium diets. That was definitely more difficult to accommodate than most other restricted diets I've seen.

Meanwhile, my sense of smell is almost nonexistent and it effects my sense of taste, so I oversalt the bejeesus out of everything I eat just to taste anything. If I had to go low sodium...id probably starve.

Biting my nails.

I have tried, but it's a habit I have had since childhood. Any ideas?

 CuddlySquig wrote:
Biting my nails.

I have tried, but it's a habit I have had since childhood. Any ideas?

Put something unpleasant on your nails...

 queen_annes_revenge wrote:

 CuddlySquig wrote:
Biting my nails.

I have tried, but it's a habit I have had since childhood. Any ideas?

Put something unpleasant on your nails...

I believe anti-biting polishes exist, which I've seen people recommend.
Never tried them myself, because I just... stopped one day, completely out of the blue. Almost annoying, as I'd have liked to know why, but I'll take it.

I was thinking dog mess, but that seems like a much better solution.

I was pondering even posting in here, after reading about the enormous feats of you guys quitting some nasty stuff, I felt that my habit felt rather... underwhelming. But, I think it still qualifies.

Instead of compulsory military service I decided to do alternative service at the red cross. My oldest brother is a doctor and used towork voluntarily as a paramedic, which was one of the biggest reasons for me to work there. And I had a blast, it was a great time that flew by and near it's end, I decided to continue to work as a volunteer.

And I did. For over 6 years, I finished mutiple additional trainings including the ambulance driving course and a emergency medical course.
The problem was, I kind of gut sucked in and neglected a lot of other things. Mainly university, though one could argue that the direction I was puruing was not the best idea. Well, I had quite a fallout with my parents a few years back and decided to get back on track with my education. I applied for a university of applied sciences whose system was much more alike to that of a school instead of a university. And I realised that full-time uni takes time. A LOT. But I continued to work as a volunteer.

But last year (well, autumn 17 more likely) I just... lost interest. I was kind of burned out, the shifts were a drag and I noticed that the conintuous night shifts took its toll. So I had a talk with my superior and decided to quite.

It was kind of... strange. For over 6 years, I spent most tuesday nights in an ambulance. If took a whole months until I stopped automatically preparing for my shift in the late afternoon and I still haven't kicked all of the habits I picked up.
But, in the end, it was a good, if not one of the better decisions I made. As much as I loved it, it took so much time. But still, I might start once again in the future.

TheAuldGrump wrote:Salt.

Blood pressure says it's a no-no, and my wife would kind of like to keep me around, for some reason.

And salt is in everything in America. In far too copious amounts.

It was easier dropping sugar.

The Auld Grump

I'm with you there. Salt is still and probably always will be hard for me. But it doesn't help that like you said salt is in everything and faaaaaar to high amount. I make soup at home for work now, I used to buy it canned until I discovered even low sodium has like 500mg in a single serving.

CuddlySquig wrote:Biting my nails.

I have tried, but it's a habit I have had since childhood. Any ideas?

I'm 35, and I still can't stop. Not even anti bite stuff stops me, I just make a gross face and chew on. I work with fertilizers for a living, so my hands are always covered in chemical pooh, still chomping away lol. It's a terrible habit

 KingCracker wrote:

CuddlySquig wrote:Biting my nails.

I have tried, but it's a habit I have had since childhood. Any ideas?

I'm 35, and I still can't stop. Not even anti bite stuff stops me, I just make a gross face and chew on. I work with fertilizers for a living, so my hands are always covered in chemical pooh, still chomping away lol. It's a terrible habit

I replaced it with cracking my knuckles

One of the key things in breaking a habit is replacing it with something else (which is preferably less problematic). So I click my fingers. A lot. And sometimes my knees, ankles and toes

Smoking. It's basically burning money and I got to the point where I barely noticed (never mind enjoyed) doing it 9 out of 10 times. As a positive it showed me enough about addiction to stop me getting even near other drugs.

My brother and I like to joke that I went COLD turkey; I went to do fieldwork in Antarctica and (purposefully) didn't take enough cigarettes with me. It's a lot easier if it simply isn't an option for two months.

It's practically impossible unless you really want to though. I reached a point where I had to deliberately decide that I am simply not a smoker, still get a craving from time to time.

Spending on social eating and drinking was difficult to cut out. Now I have a few occasional beers a month and try to keep my "ordering out" budget the same as my food store bill

ubereats lunch at work/gopuff/weekend bars/friday nights became more than my entire mortgage/car/phone/bills upkeep at one point. Also dipped into smoking cigars and a taste for nice scotch when painting.

 greatbigtree wrote:
To be fair, many pharmaceuticals are there to make people better, not worse. People can die from shock and trauma without *heavy* painkillers. Yes, they are addictive but in some cases that means a person must overcome addiction rather than being dead..

Fact. When I was on the slab, I was screaming in pain. Going into shock.

There was a fine line- pump me full of absurd levels of feel-good juice and risk an overdose, or watch me go into shock and die. That middle ground was the trickiest part, and I had one of the top surgical teams in the country slicing on me... and the surgery was extremely risky, could have made me a paraplegic had it gone slightly wrong... and the doctor, a trauma surgeon that has put Marines together when they were in literal pieces- he told me that trying to balance out the painkillers vs. going into shock was the part of the whole ordeal that made him nervous. They sedated the hell out of me for most of it. I slept for about a week.

Coming down I had to wean myself. Call me a scumbag, but I bought some drugs illegally and made a 'taper off' plan myself, and it took a month... but then I got clean.

And then I got addicted to being a jerk on the internet. I'm not quitting.

Mobile gaming. The sorts that require you to constantly clock in to get more energy as it required so much time to keep up higher on the upper tiers.

 The Forgemaster wrote:
The purchase of plastic from this odd company called GW... ever heard of it?

Did that 10+ years ago. Was VERY easy.

quitting carbs....It is rough but there is no better way to lose weight quickly.

Sugar. Freaking sugar

and lost like 40+ lbs in three months

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to quit, if you can believe this, was my job as a bin man. Why? Because it paid very good wages (20% above minimum wage, with acquired holiday pay too) and the hours where fantastic. Ok, 7:30 start Monday to Friday, but you’d go in, do your round, finish sometime between 11 and 1 (most of the time)...and then bugger off home whilst still being paid until 3:30! Full time wages for a part time job, outdoor work (great during summer) and three quarters of the time, barely any ‘work’ at all.

Unfortunately, three things did it in for me...a petty, vindictive manager who seemed to relish bullying agency staff like me...’politics’ (both office and real)...and the fact that I started getting stigmatised by both my coworkers and family. The ‘Russel group university graduate’ pulling bins and handling rubbish. My family would badger me over not ‘realising my potential’, whilst my coworkers just took a dislike to me on account of the degree. Seriously, I made any suggestion whatsoever, or even just stand there, they’d bite my head off, call me a know it all etc. Eurgh.

I miss it, I really do. It was great enough as an agency worker with zero security. If I worked there under a contract, I’d be doing even less work and have a pension and union membership to boot.

1, Hope.

2. Believing in the american dream.

 Techpriestsupport wrote:
1, Hope.

2. Believing in the american dream.

Did you just read about Vietnam?