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We all have to be jackasses sometimes. I find myself doing these things occasionally.

1. Insist on a lunch break for your troops. Bring a model Mr. Whippy van.

2. Pour cheese sauce all over your opponent's army. Complain that it is cheesy.

3. Sacrifice a guardsman to Khorne before the game. Saw off its head with a craft knife.

4. Add sound effects. Kaboom!

5. Grow a Hitler moustache and wear a swastika. 'Discipline' your troops who get bad rolls.

6. Lament the woes of war. Faint when a model dies.

7. Speak in Skaven. Neek-neek!

8. Add a spring-loading system to your Basilisk. Bring lots of ball bearings.

9. Bring a hand puppet. Constantly question it as to what is the best course of action.

That's all I've got time for. Keep it up!

Very funny, however while I have never seen it before I am someone doubtful this is new content.

But thanks you made me laugh.

lovely list, i think we can all learn something from you.

heres my list:

1. start picking up someone elses models and talk to them about how they picked the wrong team to be in

2. talk to my own models

3. talk to pieces of terrain and pretend there is a tyranid somewhere in it

4. start trying to bribe the gods, this includes dice gods

5. start trying to bride the opponants team to committe suicide, never seems to work tho

6. dip a spare plastic model in turps, wait for it to half melt and then pretend it was a very rare model and cry

Mmm, sounds a bit like the 101 ways to anoy your opponent list. I have that list at home on my PC somewhere...

If I find it I will post it...


Some others of the top of my head:

- If a model dies, give it a prper burial (including funeral tune)
- bring a book and refer to it constantly during the battle(if he uses that unit and does this then plan 421A section D states that I should do .... etc)

hopefully I will find the others tonight

Cheese Elemental wrote:

4. Add sound effects. Kaboom!

guilty

1. Instill doubt... Stare at them intensely and question everything they do.

"Are you absolutely SURE you want to move them their?"

2. Make them uncomfortable... Say things that you wouldn't normally say to someone. Things that are really off base.

"You know with a little makeup, you'd be cute."

3. Disrupt Concentration... Be annoyingly annoying and ask lame open ended questions not related to the game, and ultimately can't be answered.

"So, what out of control nonsense do you think Britney Spears will do next?"

Roll your dice...

One.
At.
A.
Time.

Works well with armies that have a lot of shooting or HtH attacks.


Halfway through the game, "realize" that you've set up wrong and remove a unit. "They should have been in reserve."
--Works best when the unit is almost dead.

Eric

Eat cheetos. Lick your fingers. Eat more cheetos.

Then 'help' your opponent move his models.

When it looks like a charge/assault will reach you by a hairs breadth, slam in to the side of the table. The resultant minature earthquake should put paid to any further deliberation.

''They were in the building, not outside!

every time an opponents model dies shout 'Boom, Headshot!'

Cheese Elemental wrote:We all have to be jackasses sometimes. I find myself doing these things occasionally.

1. Insist on a lunch break for your troops. Bring a model Mr. Whippy van.

2. Pour cheese sauce all over your opponent's army. Complain that it is cheesy.

3. Sacrifice a guardsman to Khorne before the game. Saw off its head with a craft knife.

4. Add sound effects. Kaboom!

5. Grow a Hitler moustache and wear a swastika. 'Discipline' your troops who get bad rolls.

6. Lament the woes of war. Faint when a model dies.

7. Speak in Skaven. Neek-neek!

8. Add a spring-loading system to your Basilisk. Bring lots of ball bearings.

9. Bring a hand puppet. Constantly question it as to what is the best course of action.

That's all I've got time for. Keep it up!

I think 3 and 5 are really bad form.

When are people going to get that Hilter, Swastika's, and the holocaust he started are not very funny.

Sawing off heads... People are dieing that way in the middle east.

You have succeeded in annoying this gamer. Grow up.

methoderik wrote:

Cheese Elemental wrote:We all have to be jackasses sometimes. I find myself doing these things occasionally.

1. Insist on a lunch break for your troops. Bring a model Mr. Whippy van.

2. Pour cheese sauce all over your opponent's army. Complain that it is cheesy.

3. Sacrifice a guardsman to Khorne before the game. Saw off its head with a craft knife.

4. Add sound effects. Kaboom!

5. Grow a Hitler moustache and wear a swastika. 'Discipline' your troops who get bad rolls.

6. Lament the woes of war. Faint when a model dies.

7. Speak in Skaven. Neek-neek!

8. Add a spring-loading system to your Basilisk. Bring lots of ball bearings.

9. Bring a hand puppet. Constantly question it as to what is the best course of action.

That's all I've got time for. Keep it up!

I think 3 and 5 are really bad form.

When are people going to get that Hilter, Swastika's, and the holocaust he started are not very funny.

Sawing off heads... People are dieing that way in the middle east.

You have succeeded in annoying this gamer. Grow up.

HTFU.

methoderik wrote:


I think 3 and 5 are really bad form.

When are people going to get that Hilter, Swastika's, and the holocaust he started are not very funny.

Sawing off heads... People are dieing that way in the middle east.

You have succeeded in annoying this gamer. Grow up.

huh...
thats amazing...
even before implemented in gameplay the succeed in annoying people...
pretty effective there mate...


but for real, i think you took that a bit too seriously


@Oni, those are decent as well...

- Bring theme music for your army. Play it constantly.

- Cry when your units die. Repeatedly ask your opponent why he has to be so crule.

- Hit on your opponent all though the game. Warning, Lormax and I tried this a couple of times during a team tournament. It unnerved several of our opponents and gave us the upper hand. However, at one point it ended the night with us paying for a double date...so be careful.

- Scream at your dice and throw them in the trash every time they roll a 1. I actually saw a guy do this...went though about 30 dice out of the 200ish he brought with him.

- Consult your "take it into battle" pocket edition of the Art of War every turn. (I did this to an opponent once...it was funny)

I'm still looking for a portable "Da-da-da-da-da-daaaah.... Charge!" mp3 of some kind for my Bretonians.

Post a thread in a painting forum about how you have a super-awesome idea for a conversion/model but offer only the vaguest idea how you're going to make it happen. Then let the thread die and never speak of it again.

Bring a falsified rulebook. (Hours of fun)

The Scare Tactic... Ask your opponent if they like magic. If yes - Pick up your misbehaving dice and throw them across the room. If no - Pick up your misbehaving dice and throw them across the room while shouting "Why not?"

Intimidation... Make your opponent think you're hardcore and will bruise them badly if things don't go your way. Paint some dots on a sugar cube and mix it in with your dice. Eat it angrily while your opponent watches.



Edit: Oh! And if you try the sugar cube thing and grab the wrong one... Don't blame me.

Cheers!

Those are good ones. Must try them out at the next game.

Keep addressing them while they're doing something and interrupt them.

*Trying to move an Ork mob*

"Hey."

*Pauses* "What?"

"Can't touch this DO DO DO DO" *Engages Hamma Time*


Stack their dice. Make huge towers with the 1's facing upwards.

When they roll to wound, ask them why they hate baby Jesus.

Praise Jesus when you wound their models, and tell them the still beating hearts of their toy soldiers "Taste like fear sauteed in misery."

Turn all your infantry models the other direction, saying they can't bear to look at such paint jobs.

Go into Theoden-esque soliloquies whenever close combat starts. "Where is the horse and the rider?" "Alright, I'm charging your unit." "Where is the horn that was blowing?" "Dude, move your models into base-to-base." "They have passed, like rain upon the mountainside." "!!!"

Ask your opponent to hand you a pencil, measuring tape, book, whatever. When they do, muster all the disdain you can and mutter, loudly, "Puppet."

I have done all these:

Make up rules throughout the game that start out reasonable and gradually become ludicrous.

Talk over the top trash the entire game. Better when you play a doubles game.

Play catch over someone's game.

Try to blow over models holding banners.

Stick their magnetized models to the bottom of metal shelfs when they're not looking.

Put a 12mm chessex dice box into a 16mm chessex dice box and watch people try to figure out why their dice won't fit.

Bring a croupier stick and play the game sitting down.

Cheese Elemental wrote:1. Insist on a lunch break for your troops. Bring a model Mr. Whippy van.

9. Bring a hand puppet. Constantly question it as to what is the best course of action.

Win and win.



Ghidorah

oni wrote:2. Make them uncomfortable... Say things that you wouldn't normally say to someone. Things that are really off base.

"You know with a little makeup, you'd be cute."

Also made of win.



Ghidorah

Bring an army with a really crappy paintjob and loads of chipped half finished models and then offer paint advice to your opponent.

That really annoys me.

A friend of mine actually does this, although I don't think it's actually intentional:

Declare your shooting/assault attacks. Select the appropriate dice for those attacks. Gather them all up in your hands. Begin to give them a good solid shaking. Look at something else on the table, with a look on your face like you are attempting to make an important tactical decision.

Keep.....



Shaking.......




The......








Fething......










Dice.................









After 30 seconds or so, or after your opponent's head explodes, finally roll.


Do this _every time_ you roll.

Bonus Points: Do not use a number or selection of dice that even come close to matching what is required by your declared attacks.

True story, we had a guy in NY with a Grateful Dead themed army. Each squad had 7 members, each a different color of the rainbow.

He rolled different colored dice for them with each color corresponding to an individual model.

So far that's obsessive but not really annoying.

No the annoying one was KEEPING NOTES ON EACH AND EVERY ROLL.

methoderik wrote:I think 3 and 5 are really bad form.

When are people going to get that Hilter, Swastika's, and the holocaust he started are not very funny.

Sawing off heads... People are dieing that way in the middle east.

You have succeeded in annoying this gamer. Grow up.

While I can understand how someone would be offended by dressing up as Hitler, there's no need to link khorne in warhammer to the real world. Sacrificing a guardsman to khorne is just sacrificing a guardsman to khorne.

This is ingenious. Best lists I've ever read, although nobody remembered putting a huge model like a baneblade on the table which would cause your army to far exceed it's points cost and telling your opponent it's an idle, or that it's just there for good luck.

This can be extended to practically any number of models, which you can also place among your other units or move around randomly.

I did this with a friend, pull out a porno mag and start saying things like: i didnt know your mum looked like that.

He took it as a joke of course but if you have a death wish try it in a torny or something