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So I recently got the assault on black reach set so I could play with a few of my friends while i scrape the cash together to make a DH army of my own, and I played the most slowed ork game EVER. (probably not, but it was ridiculous) there were only two truly effective turns in the entire game, and since we were using soup cans and pasta boxes as scenery, it didn't make the game any less funny. This was my third game playing without someone who has memorized the rulebook inside-out, and it was my friends first game. We made alot of mistakes. It was also funny. We decided since my dinner table was barely large enough to play a game on, we were going to eliminate morale rules.

Scenery is setup roughly symmetrically, since we were old starcraft players a few years after it first came out (all the best maps were symmetrical)

We set up in pitched battle deployment, and play to annihilation. He attempts to hide his dreadnought behind a soup can in the middle, trying to protect it from deffkopta rokkit fire, his terminator squad+captain in the left corner behind one of the two pasta boxes, and his marines in the middle-right.

I set up my deffkopta behind a pasta box in the bottom right, my boyz in the middle, and my warboss (joining my nobz squad) on the opposite side.

Turn 1
I ended up going first, playing as the orks. I move my deffkoptas along the right side towards the middle and fire at his dreadnought, wrecking it. I move the boyz up the middle, straight into soon-to-be a hail of gunfire. I shoot ineffectively. Last, I move the nobz/warboss up the left, towards his terminators (which I cannot see)

He decides to stay where he is with his tactical squad (the table edge,) and fires.... to no effect. He then fires his rocket launcher (frag missile) at the heavily packed in boyz squad. He rolls the scatter dice, and it goes back and hits his squad in the face. Incompetence wears 3+ armor, so they all remain safe. His terminator/captain squad moves out from behind the pasta box, and shoots at the nobz, killing two.

Turn 2
I decided to stagger the boyz, just in case his moron tactical squad gets lucky and hits me, so now he can only target a maximum of two units with the missile launchers. I fire and take out a single marine. The nobz charge in to attack the terminator squad, and manage to kill one, and his counter does nothing.

His tac squad remains stationary and fires, killing about 4 boyz. Sh*t seemed like it was getting real. His terminators did nothing, and my counter did nothing back.

Turn 3
I shoot rokkits at his tac squad, killing another two, and move in to assault with the deffkoptas and boyz. I roll about... 30 something dice, about 3/4 hit, 1/2 wound, so that's about 15 possible wounds. He rolls for armor aaaand.... absorbed with no effect. His terminators suffer no damage, and on the counter attack, I lose one more nob, and my warboss takes a wound.

He kills one boy.

Turn 4
Sh*t definitley did NOT get real. My orks are swinging so badly they might as well be trying to kill butterflies with a sledgehammer, and when they hit you'd think they were having a pillowfight. It doesn't help that they still have that 3+ armor save, making the few possible wounds useless. I kill two tactical marines, and he kills another two boyz. The last of my nobz go down, and the future for my warboss isn't too bright with four terminators and a captain on his ass.

Nothing happens.

Turn 5
I attack with my warboss, and wound his captain, who proceeds to barbeque him alive with his manly energy sword. My boyz swing and do nothing, and his last four tac marines continue the little tickle fight they're having over there.

He decides to just let his terminators watch and laugh at all of the morons at the other side of the table play tag with weapons, and he kills another 3 boyz.

We roll and turn 6 is a go.

Turn 6
I think the boyz are starting to start some sort of tornado with all the swinging of choppas in the air.

HE WIPES OUT THE REMAINING BOYZ SQUAD IN ONE TURN. they're still in CC with the deffkoptas, who he has decided to ignore completely.


..... I think he wins......




We end after that, but that was possibly the worst succession of dice rolls ever. He has 4 termies, one captain with 2 wounds, and 4 tactical marines remaining. I have 3 deffkoptas, completely unscathed.

Edited for grammar and spelling

Very entertaining.

lol, thanks. since when were space marines better at close combat than orks???? ><

Turn 5
I attack with my warboss, and wound his captain, who proceeds to barbeque him alive with his manly energy sword. My boyz swing and do nothing, and his last four tac marines continue the little tickle fight they're having over there.

Correct me if im wrong, but doesn't the warboss have a S9 PK? that should cause instant death to the captain.

like i said, we forgot a few of the rules, we were just having fun.

and we were using the book from the assault on black reach set. it didn't say anything about the powerclaw. according to the stats page, it was just a str 5 power weapon.

The forces you get in BR are not balanced, so if you used them all, the orks will loose most of the time, and especially if the warboss doesn't get to use his claw (which is S10)

So it was probably not too strange that you lost when your diec failed you too good for bringing people in to the game that he won though

crazypsyko666 wrote:lol, thanks. since when were space marines better at close combat than orks???? ><

Are we talking fluff wise or gamewise.

In the game a SM will beat an ork boy in one on one combat.

In fluff one SM is better than 2-3 orks in close combat.

The Lists arent even close to being balanced. The Nobz should have PKs and i dont think the Dread should be in there. That would make it sorta even.

A SM is also 2.5x more points than an ork boy. The ork is 2.5x more likley to fail a save though i think, and 1/2 as likely to wound. So DOES it even out?

I've still won three games with it though, two of them were with orks.

It's ironic to me that the deff koptas were the last thing alive. They are usually the first thing that's dies for me when I play with them.

The dread does seem unbalancing, but it all comes down to whether the koptas can take it out before they buy it. In this scenario the koptas were victorious.

All those slugga attacks. WS4 with four attacks on the charge and they couldn't make a dent. What a tragedy.

That was a fun read. Black Reach forces are not balanced so you are unlikely to win.

it was still my first loss, so meh.

Nice to see I'm not the only one who can't roll to wound

Good report though and yes AOBR is the usual GW pro-marines stuff and is super unbalanced.

hardrockfreak1337 wrote:

crazypsyko666 wrote:lol, thanks. since when were space marines better at close combat than orks???? ><

Are we talking fluff wise or gamewise.

In the game a SM will beat an ork boy in one on one combat.

In fluff one SM is better than 2-3 orks in close combat.

Funny you should say cause I just finished reading 'Ice Guard' and apparently an elite guardsmen can kill 150 traitors and almost a CSM Captain in CC lol.